To keep everything for non existent second child

The opposite here. We kept everything for the 4th and 5th babies who never came. Now 25 years later have a loft full of 'vintage' stuff eg steam sterilizer, Carrytot, Mothercare hi-low chair etc. that we forgot about! Who wants it? No one! So my word of warning is that once you finish having babies don't forget, it needs to go 🤣

Soak in soda crystals for a couple hours/ overnight. Use vanish pink gel in the handheld tube thing (about £6). wash at 30 never hot wash. Dry outside in sunshine. I got all poo and food stains out baby’s clothes (also a baby who refused to wear a bib EVER). I’m very keen on getting stains out. Son is 2.5 and 95% of his clothes are wearable for our next baby
if you leave on the clothes for a week and then hot wash you’ve set that stain in forever mind you and nothing can fix this.

Mine were born at different times of the year, November and April, so actually a lot of the first year stuff was the wrong size and season. Then when they got a bit older, they had such wildly differing tastes, I never did well with saving and re-using.

I kept a few things - I had a boy then a girl 20 months later. Obviously the buggy and travel cot and stuff I wasn't going to part with (one of my stepsons friends broke my sons cot but my neighbour lent me hers until she became unexpectedly pregnant). Clothes I passed on, but kept a few favourite pieces. We found out it was a girl at the 20 week scan, so my son was only 16 months old then so I knew what I wouldn't want.
I'd definitely keep the high ticket items, but pass on some basics.

If you do loan it you need to make it crystal clear that you want it back again . There are so many threads on here about people loaning stuff and then it gets sold or given away etc

At 1 years old, we lent ALL our baby stuff to some friends eg crib, baby chair, baby gym, clothes etc. We said we wanted it back for baby 2 and it all came back (I made a list and sent it to the mum so she didn’t miss anything being returned). Only a few things came back grey or stained but most good condition.
we will now use it all for our next baby due early august!! Im all for things getting the most use, hate to think of everyone buying new all the time

Can you lie and say you've given them away already?

If you say you're keeping them for new baby she may offer to use them and return to you, but that's a bad idea because you'll never get them back.

How do you get stains out of baby clothes? I find it so hard and they never come out, I usually leave then in just a nappy to wat now it's hot but if I accidently drop food in them whilst breastfeeding or if they get food on them the stains never come out in the wash

I kept the lot and most of my older boy stuff works for my girl due in a few weeks. I gave my cousin the really obvious boy stuff but she didn’t ask for it!!

Of course you can keep things for your second baby. Realistically, you don’t get everything back in the same condition as when you lent it out . I lent out items to different people after we’d had our 2nd , some came back in good condition but a lot didn’t.

I wouldn’t lend it at all. Nothing will
come back in the same condition.

This. I kept everything too.

Well, I kept everything for DC2, who came almost five years after the birth of the DC1. We were always planning a second one and we made no secret about it, so no one was surprised or asked for the stuff instead.

I would (and did) keep it all. Clothes don’t always last that well over multiple babies- I have three children but not everything from DC1 made it to DC3- (which was fine because it was my own middle DC who wore some things out- but I wouldn’t have given them away for another baby to do that!) Now I’m done having children I’m happy to give everything away once the youngest has outgrown them. Fine for her to ask I guess, but definitely equally fine for you to say ‘Sorry friend, we haven’t kept loads anyway but what we do have we’re keeping in case we have another one’.

My brother and sister in law gave away a massive bundle of baby clothes, some brand new, all in good condition on Facebook. They delivered the bundle and didn’t even get a thank you. When their DS was one they fell pregnant with another DS and had to buy it all again.

I am keeping all of DD’s baby clothes even though she is an IVF baby so a sibling is far from certain. I’m a bit precious about her stuff, I get stains out straight away and don’t tumble dry anything, and wouldn’t want them coming back to me in a bad condition.

She’s unreasonable to ask.

And yyy to joining a local twins’ club - it’s basically “Congratulations! PLEASE TAKE ALL OUR STUFF” round my way. DTs are nearly two and I think my only purchases to date ahave been two hoodies.

I'd lend it, it's just stuff and you can have it back in time for your second 🤷🏻‍♀️

But if you don't want to, you don't have to.

Tell your friend to join her local twins club they usually have loads of stuff getting passed on for cheap/free

If you think you'll have another, keep them. I didn't for the first year or so of DD1s life and have been lamenting all the stuff I've had to buy for DD2.

Once I realised I should be doing that, I saved everything that was still in good condition. I remember having a bit of a chip on my shoulder about always getting my big sisters cast off's as a kid, so I wouldn't keep anything that looks worn.

I'm keeping all my 16 month old's stuff for the same reason. Planning to TTC next year, over a year away. YANBU

Clothing wise, I kept everything that was neutral and a couple of sentimental items. We did hold onto other baby bits like the bouncer etc but I fell pregnant when my eldest was 9 months old.
I did give away some bits to friends and as my children grew I passed on their clothes to family and friends, we still do it now on occasion.

I kept anything not stained/damaged. She's now 6 and still not had a second but not getting rid of thing just in case.
I sold the pushchair though as knew if i had a second i'd want a new one, also gave to family the moses basket/jumperoo (things bought for us by family as felt that was the right thing to do)

I barely got rid of anything until DS was about 10 'just in case'. I think it's pretty normal to keep the bulk of it until you feel pretty certain you don't intend to have more children, then give away what you don't want to keep.

I wouldn't have asked anyone for stuff either. My sister sent a massive amount of DN's babygros and vests over for my DS when he was born, also toys, bouncers, playmat, and it was very gratefully received, but she offered.

I do think it is unreasonable, because at 30 weeks you would have offered her stuff to her if you were going to.

Definitely keep!

So odd for her to ask when you have a young child given it's the norm to have at least 2!

I'm currently on mat leave with DS2. DS1 is 5.5 and we kept absolutely everything!

When DS1 was born a good friend lent me loads of 0-3 and 3-6 clothes.

For DS2, a colleague brought in a bag of 0-1 clothes for me the week before I went on mat leave. I lent him a bag of 6-9 month stuff that I know he'll return. Now I'm lending a bag of 0-1 to another colleague that is on mat leave from today.

I love the clothes that we got for DS1, especially his cute little cardigans and dungarees. 🥰 It's lovely imagining someone else's baby getting to wear those clothes and not having to spend time and money sourcing it all.

I think it's a real waste not to share, but I would expect them to be returned at some point. In your shoes, I would lend!