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Original poster

Organ donation

35 replies

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 05:57

If your adult child needed a kidney transplant would you volunteer to be a live donor?

YANBU - yes I would do anything for my child
YABU - no

OP posts:
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IAmAnIdiot123 · 09/06/2023 02:49

VerticalSausages · 08/06/2023 07:24

yes yes respect the person’s autonomy and all that, but I would certainly judge a mother who refused without a clear reason.

But why would you expect to be told the reason as a random family member? It could be part of a larger medical issue that she doesn't want all and sundry knowing about.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/06/2023 02:29

Surely the way to get round bay bad feeling. (Not that there should be any in the first place) Is to have the first few tests and the transplant team say that you aren't a suitable match.

MissTrip82 · 09/06/2023 01:41

Nobody knows until they’re in that situation.

I’ve cared for a living kidney donor who died as a result of operative complications. I don’t know how the recipient has coped with that.

CoconutDrunk · 08/06/2023 21:55

If it was my child (however old at the time) or one of my siblings a thousand times yes. Anyone else…. Probably not.

I actually know someone who has done this for a friend. They said the recovery was so awful if they went back in time knowing what they do now they wouldn’t do it

Scienceadvisory · 08/06/2023 08:31

I wouldn't judge if someone didn't offer. There are a lot of risks for the person donating and there is no guarantee of success. A former colleague donated a kidney to her daughter but the kidney was rejected. Her daughter went back on dialysis and she now only has one kidney.

loislovesstewie · 08/06/2023 08:27

I would for a close family member, I'm also happy to donate anything post mortem. I've had a donor card since the age of 17 as my mother died of kidney failure, it made me aware of the importance of organ donation.

PurpleChrayne · 08/06/2023 08:26

Of course. No question.

NoPicklesplease · 08/06/2023 08:21

This was a desperate housewives story line

turned out the mum had cancer and didn’t want her daughter to know

GoodChat · 08/06/2023 07:59

VerticalSausages · 08/06/2023 07:24

yes yes respect the person’s autonomy and all that, but I would certainly judge a mother who refused without a clear reason.

What if they just didn't offer?

snitzelvoncrumb · 08/06/2023 07:59

I would for my kids, and possibly dh. Any other family members I would go to the appointment to see if I’m a match and ask for my results to be not a match. Saves the fallout.

KrisAkabusi · 08/06/2023 07:41

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

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I would, but I don't think I would judge anyone that didn't the way you are. It's nit a rusk-free procedure and she may have her own reasons.

Eastofe · 08/06/2023 07:35

I would, and for my siblings and neices. But I am fairly young, in good health, with reasonable sick pay from work, a supportive family who could sort themselves while I recover and am not scared of surgery.
It is hard because I can't imagine not doing it for my own child but I can see why someone would not want to do it if they didn't have any of that to help. Especially if there were already lots of others willing to do it instead.

StoneColdMedusa · 08/06/2023 07:27

I wouldn’t. I have chronic health issues and that’s hard enough to navigate life with

VerticalSausages · 08/06/2023 07:24

yes yes respect the person’s autonomy and all that, but I would certainly judge a mother who refused without a clear reason.

Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:23

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 07:21

The recipient did not ask anyone to donate. Ppl were told of the person health and that they needed a transplant. There was no pressure or demand placed on anyone.

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But you said it caused resentment? So somebody thought that she should have done it?

Original poster
Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 07:21

Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:09

This is an interesting one. Yes, I would, without a seconds hesitation. But I don’t judge the woman who refused - everyone’s body is their own and they have the right to decide what to do with it. I don’t think even (adult) children have the right to demand a woman gives up a part of her own body.

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The recipient did not ask anyone to donate. Ppl were told of the person health and that they needed a transplant. There was no pressure or demand placed on anyone.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 08/06/2023 07:21

I don't think anyone should try and pressure anyone else into donating an organ. It's such a massive ordeal that you have to be absolutely certain that you're happy to do it.

Namechangedforthis2244 · 08/06/2023 07:19

I would probably do this if one of my children needed one.

However, there are situations where I might not - if I was poorly or there was a high likelihood that the op wouldn’t be successful; if their dad was a better match etc etc. If the risks of the op were very high.

What I would feel strongly would be that it is my body and my choice and I would be extremely angry with any family member who thought that it was their role to make that choice for me.

AgentJohnson · 08/06/2023 07:12

Would I offer if DD needed it, yes but I wouldn’t expect anyone to offer me theirs.

Justchooseone · 08/06/2023 07:09

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

Show quote history

This is an interesting one. Yes, I would, without a seconds hesitation. But I don’t judge the woman who refused - everyone’s body is their own and they have the right to decide what to do with it. I don’t think even (adult) children have the right to demand a woman gives up a part of her own body.

mobear · 08/06/2023 07:05

My DP did this for his son. I would do it for ours if it came to it (no reason to think it will).

WhisperingAutistic · 08/06/2023 06:54

Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

Show quote history

Did she give a reason why?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 08/06/2023 06:54

Yes. And I’d be really cross if DH’s kidney was chosen above mine.

I would not allow my dc to donate to me.

Original poster
Maggie178 · 08/06/2023 06:52

Reallybadidea · 08/06/2023 06:46

I can't see anyone admitting that they wouldn't on Mumsnet 😂

Perhaps your right.
It's a situation that's caused resentment in my family. When a family member needed a transplant family and friends came forward but their mum said she wouldn't.

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 08/06/2023 06:49

I would for my boys and OH, everything I do is for them, so I wouldn't have to think about it.