Squishing a child

If you already have concerns and this is adding to it, you need to contact your family or friends or gp or hv or sw or ss for help. Your child needs you to advocate for them.

In general I think there's a place for this. In Bluey they do a "squish squash" which sounds similar. It can be done reasonably in horse play so long as everyone enjoys that kind of thing.

I know that my kids like to be squished as a deep pressure thing too, my DD asks me to lay on her. She likes weighted blankets too.

As a punishment for wriggling, in anger? No, that sounds really scary for a kid. Was the child hurt? Or was it just a shock?

I really wish people wouldn't come out with these massive drip feeds. It's not fair on people who have gone to the trouble to flag up, for instance, the usefulness of deep pressure for some children with sensory difficulties, when you suddenly post something which essentially tells them they've been wasting their time.

All of this.

Nope. Not ok at all. I knew it'd be a boy too. As someone else said it's like a male animal asserting dominance and it's not necesssary or what we should be doing as intelligent beings.

I think you're seeing a red flag.

The age of your child and what else is going on is important too.

• I suspect this isn't an isolated incidence.
• I'm concerned you don't feel able to talk to him about it, beyond telling him to stop
• I'm concerned that you're witnessing and feeling like you need to accept your husband physically disciplining your child.

If your husband hadn't been angry and had been joking, or trying to sooth your child, then that's completely different. But the fact that he was angry and squashed your child so much that he coughed is horrendous.

I think you need to see a therapist who can help you work out your feelings. Your heart is telling you something is wrong, but your head is stopping you from acting on it.

That doesn’t sound good, too much weight on a child and the adult wasn’t in a good mood. Was he angry with the child?
The “ wrapping” of a distressed child is very different, I can remember being taught that about 40 years ago and the child’s comfort and safety were paramount.

Fuck no, it's not alright at all. And I'm firmly in the kids need boundaries and discipline camp, but this sounds abusive and terrifying for your little three year old.
As an aside I don't tolerate 'rough and tumble' play. Dh did a stupid play thing trying to trip ds up fucking idiot I bullocked him to kingdom-come (dh not ds). And told dh if he ever pulled that shit again it would be immediate divorce, dh was shocked to be called out by it, because his dad had done it to him.......It's a form of dominance and just because its traditional 'boys play'. It's not at all okay.

This isn't someone squishing an autistic child to ground them. This is a guy taking his frustration out on a 3 year old child in a physical way. The OP is the mother and knows best.

I squish my autistic DD… it grounds her when she needs it. Like her weighted blanket at night. Really help when she is overwhelmed

*my

This is a grown adult man exerting physical force on a 3 year old girl who is doing nothing more than irritating him. Massive red flag. There is no way on earth my DH would do that to me 3 year old daughter. Has he ever been physical to you OP?

This deep pressure technique or restraint is a red herring. That's not what is being described.

Yes, was coming on to say this seems bizarre? What did the dad say when he was called out?

I've worked in lots of SEMH schools where students have to be restrained to keep them safe (last resort) or where they are held as a sensory need for deep pressure and containment

I thought you meant in the way where you find someone or something so adorable you just have to squish and squeeze them. 😂

If I'm honest I'm not sure what my opinion is on this. Child's father was laying on him as punishment? Father was angry at the time so he was lashing out. How old is your child? This is not okay and I would be worried for it to happen again. Does he regularly put your child to bed? If it was me I would be having a big talking to and telling him he is not to punish your child by touching him. If he gets stressed he should walk away.

I agree with pp that it sounds like a dominance thing. I would not be at all OK with it.

It is her child, if you read the OPs later posts.

Not your child, not your problem

Btw I have seen this between father and son and it was dominance. They were both adults but it was so boundary pushing and odd that I assumed it was not the first time.

Had the father done this to a female relative I would have assumed him a pervert.

Trust your instincts. It immediately felt wrong to you and you reacted accordingly.

This sounds horrible. I would be concerned.

Bah. Good old fashioned physical bullying is what it is. Bet this father is a nasty bit of work

Dc1 has adhd and sometimes, when he gets overwhelmed and fidgety and looks like he's either going to meltdown or go on a mega-hyper high, the easiest way of calming him is to put weight on his shoulders. We don't do that in anger though and if I felt someone was hurting him or my other child then I'd have something to say.