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AIBU?

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Original poster

bored

34 replies

Flute56 · 07/06/2023 00:09

I went out with a friend tonight but was bored. We basically have nothing in common. We have nothing much to talk about and for a lot of the time we just sat in silence and I thought gosh what do I say now. We did not have fun, we did not laugh and my friend spent a lot of the time looking on her phone texting. She said lets meet againn soon. I said oh I will let you know as I do get quite busy.

I just cannot do this anymore. I came home thinking I did not really enjoy the evening. Conversation was forced and it was like I had to keep asking questions and did not really get much back

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Original poster
Flute56 · 11/06/2023 00:00

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 10/06/2023 21:28

Did you ask her how she was? Perhaps she has a problem.

i did ask and she said she was ok. There seems little point discussing this anymore

OP posts:
BunnyBettChetwynnd · 10/06/2023 21:28

Did you ask her how she was? Perhaps she has a problem.

TheShellBeach · 10/06/2023 21:07

Sorry. I was just thinking about all your other threads.

Original poster
Flute56 · 10/06/2023 21:05

TheShellBeach · 10/06/2023 19:27

You often seem to have problems with your friends, Flute.

no i do not. I only had an issue with two of them. The rest are fine

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 10/06/2023 19:27

You often seem to have problems with your friends, Flute.

Original poster
Flute56 · 10/06/2023 18:28

Howtosolveit · 10/06/2023 03:56

You sound a bit superior to be honest. Don't meet up with her again if you don't enjoy her company. You don't have to dissect everything she does. It might be odd to watch you eat but maybe she was too broke or otherwise hung up about something (diet?) to eat out with you. Just leave her be and you can both pursue other friendships.

I am not superior. If she did not want to eat because she was dieting or hard up then she should have said something. The other thing was I asked about her trip abroad and all she said was it was fine. Did not go into any detail . Friends share things. She shares nothing. I have had it and am not seeing her again

OP posts:
Howtosolveit · 10/06/2023 03:56

You sound a bit superior to be honest. Don't meet up with her again if you don't enjoy her company. You don't have to dissect everything she does. It might be odd to watch you eat but maybe she was too broke or otherwise hung up about something (diet?) to eat out with you. Just leave her be and you can both pursue other friendships.

Ontheperiphery79 · 10/06/2023 03:14

So, do the decent thing, not meet up again and let this person spend time with people who actually value their company.

Original poster
Flute56 · 10/06/2023 03:03

TammyJones · 09/06/2023 21:31

Watch you eat ???
No thank you
It's run it's course

yes very odd. I said but dont you want to eat dinner and she said I wil eat dinner later at home but you can eat

I mean, of all the strange things to say. I am deffo calling it a day. After we had been out she said oh lets meet again in 4 weeks time. I thought for what so all I said was oh I dont know it depends if I am busy or not.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 09/06/2023 21:31

Watch you eat ???
No thank you
It's run it's course

Original poster
Flute56 · 09/06/2023 21:17

i think I will go with the first one and accept that it has run its course. Even when we went out last time i thought we were going for dinner and she said she did not want to eat but would have a coffee and watch me eat.

Bit strange but still no hard feelings

OP posts:
PleasantOwl · 09/06/2023 20:41

I think you do one of two things.

First, you accept this friendship has run its course. Don’t suggest another meet up and if she contacts you about one, be unavailable.

Second, if you don’t want to give up on the friendship, do something different next time you meet - an activity, a gig, comedy club, anything that doesn’t involve just sitting there staring at each other over a drink.

Numberunknown · 09/06/2023 20:35

You are meeting up and sitting having a drink together , honestly that’s pretty boring for most people ,
so do something else , a walk , a museum , a sport , a film , a lesson of some sort something you can talk about where a conversation can develop with the activity you are sharing
a conversation needs effort from both sides and stimulus to give it momentum

Original poster
Flute56 · 09/06/2023 20:16

Pooterlie · 07/06/2023 20:58

I'd absolutely let the friendship go. Life is too short to struggle through surely.

you are right. I get nothing out of it and I would be better off being at home watching a film than going out with someone and having a boring evening

OP posts:
Pooterlie · 07/06/2023 20:58

I'd absolutely let the friendship go. Life is too short to struggle through surely.

KnickerlessParsons · 07/06/2023 20:54

Learn the art of asking open questions?

TheShellBeach · 07/06/2023 11:43

It seems like a good idea to plan to go out to an activity, or a museum, or maybe a film?

Thelnebriati · 07/06/2023 11:08

If you want to keep the friendship stop doing nights out and start visiting places together, or do an activity. Take it in turns to pick somewhere that looks interesting.

TheShellBeach · 07/06/2023 10:52

So do you want to stay friends with her?
Or just call it a day?

GoodChat · 07/06/2023 06:42

I can tell why the conversation was boring - this thread was hard work to read and it's only small!

Do an activity if you want to remain friends l.

Original poster
Flute56 · 07/06/2023 06:20

Thomasina79 · 07/06/2023 04:53

Friends grow apart, it’s sometimes sad but inevitable. It’s best just to acknowledge this and move on.

yes

OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 07/06/2023 04:53

Friends grow apart, it’s sometimes sad but inevitable. It’s best just to acknowledge this and move on.

Ragwort · 07/06/2023 04:47

Just accept that friendships grow apart, I've lived in my current town for over twelve years, friendships start, evolve and sometimes just fizzle out. Sorting through some photos the other day I found a great picture of me with some friends I met through a particular hobby .. we all looked really happy and I remember we had a great time ... but a number of us drifted away from the hobby so we don't have so much in common and no longer meet up socially. Because we all live in a smallish town we do bump into each other and say 'hello' and maybe have a very quick chat but it's almost an unspoken 'rule' that we wouldn't agree to meet up for an evening like we used to.
I've gone on to meet other friends and I am sure so have the others.

steff13 · 07/06/2023 03:22

Flute56 · 07/06/2023 03:19

I know

Show quote history

Then that's your answer. 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Flute56 · 07/06/2023 03:19

steff13 · 07/06/2023 03:07

You don't have to spend time with this person.

I know

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