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AIBU?

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Leaving out dds bully

132 replies

dozydoo · 06/06/2023 15:00

It's dds (6) 7th birthday next month,
we've had her party booked for a while, she's in a class of 20, and we can only invite 25 kids to the party, my issue is that there's a child in her class who is awful to her.

I've tried to speak to her dm about how she is with my dd, but she's very dismissive and doesn't see that her dd does anything wrong, her dd has also been horrible to quite a few other children in class. The teachers are involved and she has been told she is to stay away from all three of my children at that school, and is on report card for her behaviour, including being rude and disrespectful and lashing out at children and teachers. (There is definitely no sen)

Now my predicament is that dd is adamant she doesn't want said child there, if I'm honest, I really don't want her there either, but can I really be the mum who leaves out one child?

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 06/06/2023 15:16

I wouldn't invite everyone except this girl, but equally I wouldn't invite her.

Is it the norm in her school to invite the full class?

Softoprider · 06/06/2023 15:14

Sit down with your child and get her to write down the names of the children she would like to attend. Put a cap on the numbers.

Lovetotravel123 · 06/06/2023 15:14

I think it is fine to leave the kid out. Maybe they will finally learn that they can’t behave like that without implications.

Noicant · 06/06/2023 15:11

I mean if it was your birthday would you invite someone who bullies you at work?

Noicant · 06/06/2023 15:11

I would have no problem with excluding her. Your Dd has a right to have a birthday without being worried about being bullied at it.

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 06/06/2023 15:10

Surely your dd just invites the dc she wants to? The dm will know why her dd isn't going.. No need to think of ways to excuse your decision

Carrusa · 06/06/2023 15:08

The done thing seems to be to limit it to 10-12 or so. Does she honestly play with all the other 18?

Though having done this ourselves, it didn't feel great limiting the numbers. I'm not sure those left out even knew they were one of several, so I'm not convinced it made them feel any better.