Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School gate hell!!

130 replies

Popcornlassie28 · 05/06/2023 11:33

Hi everyone,

Sorry for such a whining post but I wanted to know if anyone else feels the way I do and how they have tackled it.

My daughter is in Reception at school and she moved in December to her new school- so really early into the year.

None of the other Mum’s talk to me or even say ‘Hello’. I’m the only parent who stands alone while others all stand in their groups. I’ve tried with quite a few Mum’s but get often got a cold response so I have given up trying. I used to make an effort to say ‘Good morning’ etc and met with gritted teeth faces. I felt humiliated.

During school holidays, a lot of the Mum’s have ‘play dates’ which my daughter has never been invited to and when she goes back to school asks me why she wasn’t invited.

Please say I’m not the only one! I know it’s petty but I’ve cried over this and it’s really effected my self esteem. I don’t know what I have done so wrong to these women!!

I dread drop offs and pick ups to the point I have to mentally prepare myself to be stood alone and being stared at. :(

OP posts:
Nordicrain · 05/06/2023 11:42

You have to put yourself out there if you want to make schoolgate friends (which of course not everyone is bothered about). Invite kids for play dates untill you get invitations back. Volunteer to be a parent helper. Is there a class whatsapp group? Could you suggest a park meet up after school one day no the weather is nicer?

Popcornlassie28 · 05/06/2023 11:41

Thank you @grumpymole for your message! I read it in floods of tears as I do not understand it at all and it’s really getting me down. X

OP posts:
SunnySaturdayMorning · 05/06/2023 11:39

grumpymole · 05/06/2023 11:37

School Bullies just become Bullies !

I don't have any advice on how to tackle this, but feeling for you - know this: One day some kid is going to bully their child and only then they will understand how this behaviour impacts someones mental health. x

Oh fgs. They aren’t bullying her just because they don’t want to be friends with her.

Nobody has to be friends with anyone they don’t want to.

Testina · 05/06/2023 11:38

I very much doubt it’s personal. People have their own groups and they’re under no obligation to include you, nice as that might be. At this age, play dates are mostly based on which mothers know each other. That changes gradually to child’s choice. Have you hosted a play date yet? If you can afford it, I recommend a whole-class birthday party if possible. After 7 years of big parties and my child having loads of play dates - hosting and invited - I still had barely any school gate interaction with the vast majority of the school mums. We have kids the same age in the same school and that was all we had in common.

grumpymole · 05/06/2023 11:37

School Bullies just become Bullies !

I don't have any advice on how to tackle this, but feeling for you - know this: One day some kid is going to bully their child and only then they will understand how this behaviour impacts someones mental health. x