Christian knowledge needed please

All of these groups believe that their (different) interpretation of the Bible is the correct one. And these are just the mainstream churches!

Within these denominations, "Fundamentalist" or "Evangelical" groups are (very roughly speaking) those which emphasise the exact text of the Bible, as the Word of God, over everything else. Many other groups assert that the Bible was written by humans, in particular social contexts. There are arguments for both sides there.

Right, and how exactly does that equate to burning in fiery pits of hell?
Forget religion.
Of course if you go into a marriage you should try to make it work, that’s got nothing to do with God.

I divorced my husband because he turned out to be a serial prostitute user. I left with my dignity, and herpes.
My friend left her husband, after he broke her arm in front of their 6yo.
We both had marriage counselling together after knowledge of prostitutes (me) black eye (her). So we definitely tried.

Do you really think God is sending us to hell?
And if He would, is that actually a religion you choose to follow?

Nah you won't go to church if you're divorced. Methodist Christian here and one of our stewards is divorced. Find another church if they're being mean to you. God wants you to be happy 😊

I believe that you won't go to hell for divorcing. Be happy.

I don’t know about other denominations but growing up Catholic meant redemption or salvation was only possible through faith in Jesus and with it came a responsibility to the wider community. I did have a fear of Hell, but that comes from continually examining your conscience from infancy. Were you raised in this way?

As you grow up your critical faculties usually kick in and you can separate the role of religion as an oppressive social control from the internal rewards of the mysteries of faith, the example of sacrificial love and the responsibility to care for yourself and others.

What was it like for you when you were young? Did you have a religion?

Being a Christian involves believing that Jesus is the son of God who was sent to earth and died on the cross for our sins. Whether you're divorced or not shouldn't matter if you believe this as this is the only way in to Heaven.

As Testina suggests a less literal-minded interpretation of hell might be helpful OP - "hell" can be experienced here and by seeking a happier life for yourself, you would be attempting to extricate yourself from it

“I forgive and forgive and forgive and then my heart will turn to sudden stone
then I become very angry and unforgiving which I hate “

That’s because you never forgave in the first place. Let alone forgave and forgave and forgave! You buried your needs and your rights and accepted shitty behaviour because something/someone drilled that into you. But, deep down, of course you didn’t forgive them. Because you shouldn’t. So eventually the anger surfaces.

You don’t need god/God, a minister, an Alpha course, a religion… you need a decent therapist.

The very Christian position of, “turning the other cheek” doesn’t actually mean let people treat you like shit. When God flooded the earth, he wasn’t turning the other cheek. When Jesus over turned the table of the money lenders, he wasn’t turning the other cheek.

Sounds to me like you were brought up to ignore your own needs, and with the Alpha course you tried to find a religion that would make you feel virtuous for continuing to do so, because it’s a lot easier than changing.

How would you feel at the Pearly Gates if you said to God, “I was super nice and forgiving and I’m here for my heavenly reward please” and He said, “I gave you this wonderful opportunity for a full and happy earthly life, and you squandered it?”

Therapy!

I am maybe understanding from here that you can be a Christian and different groups within it are very different in their opinions?

Do you live under a rock? Have you never heard of all the various denominations of Christianity?!

What church are you going to that believes divorce = Hell? Never in my life have I been to a church that preaches that.

Depends if you're catholic or Protestant I suppose. Protestant Christians do not see marriage as a sacrament. Divorce is fine as long as it's for the right reasons. The only sacraments are baptism and holy communion. I believe marriage is a sacrament in Catholicism however.

The Christian church is very broad and varied - however at its heart there’s a belief in having a relationship with God. You describe behaviours that someone might ascribe to be Christian but not what you believe about God and Jesus. It sounds like you’re seeking a faith and have fallen across a pretty fundamental version of church. Have a look maybe at your local Anglican Church as they tend to be more liberal and will teach the faith in an accessible way.

In terms of your marriage, I don’t believe you go to hell if you divorce, and you can make your own choices about what happens in future relationships.

Do you actually believe in hell?
Like, even if the Bible clearly said: you divorce, you go to hell - do you actually think you’re going to be burning in fiery pits for eternity?

I am Christian. I am divorced and remarried.

I don't take the Bible as "gospel" excuse the pun. It was written by humans in random languages, translated, retranslated and jiggled with to fit whatever thinking happened to be popular at the time. That's my view anyway.

I am fairly sure you won't go to hell if you divorce.

If you are as unhappy in your marriage as you say you are, then you need to start doing practical things to exit. Own bank account, clear idea of what it cost to move out/buy husband out etc. Start to get an exit plan straight in your head and see where that leads you.

Kinda depends on your flavour of Christianity, doesn’t it? The Bible teaches a multitude of contradictory things depending on how you read it.

I'm a devout lifelong Christian, born and raised protestant but now Catholic. You will not go to hell if you're divorced. The whole point of Jesus' life and death is the forgiveness of sins. The Lord knows what you've put up with, and your husband's refusal to participate in married life, which is what I think you're saying, is sufficient grounds. Every time your husband discounts your needs, ridicules you, refuses intimacy without very good reason, etc., he is sinning against you and God.

As for intimacy outside marriage, I can't help you. It is not condoned by Christianity. I will say that as someone who travels in devoutly religious circles, there are men who will abstain until marriage, including marriage to a divorcee. In fact, I married one, and I was the divorcee. I know any number of men who would feel the same way, so don't think that a truly Christian man consider you damaged goods or unworthy or whatever you're thinking. A man who loves you in a Christ-like way, which is the requirement for all Christian men, will not care.

This isn't true. You have to do what Romans 10:9 says, be repentant and ask forgiveness.
Implied in the verse from Romans is that belief and confession lead you to want to imitate Christ and live a life modelled on His.
You can't just go around willy nilly doing whatever you like. That's not how it works. Christian faith is a responsibility and we need to try to live up to Christ's example and sacrifice.

My husband is catholic and has deep faith. He believes we all "sin" but this wouldn't stop him from getting a divorce if he's unhappy. He accepts we are all flawed and make mistakes but we seek forgiveness and no-body never ever doesn't make mistakes or needs forgiveness. We all do but we do our best

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:9

You do that, so you have nothing to worry about.
God does not send folk to "hell" which, my church believes, is the absence of God's presence, for fun. You would have to be a really, really unrepentant sinner, I think.
All sin is ranked the same in God's eyes, there is no hierarchy. And all sin is wiped out by Christ's death on the cross.
You are God's precious child. He loves you and wants you to be happy not stuck living a shadow life in an abusive marriage. And I'm speaking from experience here. And if God would have no problem with you being divorced, why should anyone else? If they do, they are not worth worrying about. Tbh, your church sounds a bit abusive as well, encouraging you to stay in your situation.
For a person with "loose" Christian belief, you actually sound very fundamentalist. These kinds of belief are not really that mainstream. Why don't you try a different church that might be more understanding and supportive. Oh, and offers baptism without full immersion, if that's what you want.

This is not what Christianity teaches at all. Jesus died for our sins but with that must come 'true repentance' of the sins we have committed. Then we are assured of his forgiveness, followed by not repeating that sin.

Going about lying and breaking the law wilfully because 'Jesus has forgiven it all' is not what the death on the cross is about and never has been. That is a complete mockery of the sacrifice Jesus made.

As for@OP I am very sorry you are in what seems like a very unhappy marriage and have to make difficult decisions. Your church does not sound helpful or perhaps just have not got the right resources to support marriages in crisis.
I can't advise whether you should divorce but whatever you do decide i wish you all the very best.

Given that you say you have a "loose" Christian belief I am very concerned at your beliefs that you will go to hell if you divorce and that in God's eyes your husband is perfect. I don't know where you picked up your Christian beliefs from but I suspect some fundamentalist or evangelical church because mainstream Christianity does not condemn anyone merely for being divorced. I am Catholic, most of my friends are C of E and lots of our group are divorced, living with partners, gay, whatever. If you really believe that you will be condemned for leaving your husband, I suggest that you go and speak to a mainstream Church minister or perhaps try to find a group for divorced church-goers. Even my very middle-class previous Catholic church has a social group for divorced and separated people.