My Son is 9 and in school. He is happy in school and has a group of friends.
Thats the main thing and the fact he’s happy in school and has good social skills and friends is the most important thing for me. His school teacher said he’s really sociable, popular and has lots of friends in school. I have some worries though that are really persistent.
- He does NO after school activities. He is brought back in a taxi from school as we live more than two hours away. I’ve tried to get him into a few things like boxing, karate, youth club but he seems tired after school and doesn’t like organised activities. He had wanted to join a football club but there’s a waiting list for all of them. I’ve tried to find one with spaces but got nowhere. He’s on the waiting list.
- He has no friends out of school. Probably because he doesn’t do activities. While he chats to his friends on his iPad after school and school holidays he does not have friends to play with.
- My Husband (not his Dad) has some friends with children the same age so at weekends we sometimes do things with his friends. I’d say almost all weekends he had an activity with other children but these outings haven’t resulted in him actually being friends independently with these children. My Husband is working from home at the moment and will soon be starting work for a big company so hopes he will make friends then with children the same age and maybe he can make a friend outside of school this way. I have NO friends and never have so sadly can’t help with this.
- His education is not good. He’s in a ‘bad’ school but we live in an area where the primary schools are very poor. We’ve kept him there for now as he’s so happy there. My Husband and educated and has offered to do tutoring with him but he just isn’t interested in it. We’re working on that and trying to make it fun but so far he isn’t engaged with academic learning. I’m really not good at academics so don’t feel able to help as much but I also try.
- My Husband is Muslim. We will have our own children in a few years. I wonder if he will feel left out living in a Muslim family (husband wants his children raised Muslim) although he will have left home probably by the time our children are young. This is something I worry about.
- He has a Dad who loves him and he sees regularly. He also doesn’t have many friends with children the same age. But our Son does enjoy going up to him and they have a good bond. He’s a bit of a ‘fun’ dad though. You’d never catch him helping with homework or going to a parent teacher evening.
Overall my worry really is that his life is quite boring and lonely and his education isn’t great. I always imagined he’d have loads of local friends, do well in school, have hobbies. Sometimes I wonder if our location holds us back as it’s quite a rural area with little facilities (but beautiful scenery and beaches). It’s a feeling I just can’t shake. Especially when I hear of others children packed activity schedules, play dates with neighbours and cousins.
I lived a terribly lonely childhood and have never had any friends even in adult life so maybe this has shaped my anxiety. But I’m so worried he’s got a rubbish life 😢