Friend's "small" wedding

You're being soooo unreasonable. Lol...

Her wedding, her choice, her finances, her decision. Nothing to be upset about.

Oh dear this thread has made it into the Daily Mail.

OP, I can understand you feel sad about this. She was an official part of your big day, and you thought you’d be a part of hers… It really doesn’t sound personal though, looking at it from the outside — it just sounds as though she has a different idea about how she wants her wedding to be. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d try to let it go.

Why is everyone so harsh & unkind in here? I understand that you maybe don't agree with her but there's kinder ways if saying things to people! Remind me never to ask for any advice on here!

I think I'd be upset too if it was my best friend and we'd talked about being each others bridesmaids. Plus she could have made it cheaper by just buying the dresses, that's what I did.

I think you've had some harsh responses. It's natural to feel disappointed in this scenario if you were hoping to be a bridesmaid in return. I hope you can enjoy the day regardless OP 😁 like others have said it's her wedding and whatever her reasons-you just need to accept it but I would also be a bit quietly deflated.

When I were a kid me and my best friend made all kinds of db promises to one another .. I think you are being unreasonable...however I can see why your feelings are hurt...

With that attitude I wouldn't be surprised if your not friends for much longer.

I can't understand all this fuss about being, or not being, a bridesmaid for someone. Surely OP you don't expect your friend to have a large wedding, complete with bridesmaids, simply because that is what you did? Just be happy for your friend and stop being upset over something so silly.

You can be upset as you like but it's not your business. I'm sure you'll get an invite though.

You play the victim.

YABU. I had friends at school who had a similar thing about being each others bridesmaids.

We remained friends but grew apart. One friend did ask me and one other to be her bridesmaids which I did agree too but was very surprised to be asked.

I didn't ask either of them to be my bridesmaids (I had my sister and closest friends at that time).

The third friend never married.

You did what you wanted. Accept that she will do the same.

@Sophiesop
Hello, just curious how many bridesmaids did you have?

I didn't get invited to either of my bridesmaids' weddings...

My best friend didn't have me as a bridesmaid either. She just had her younger sister.

I'd had her as my bridesmaid a year before that. And I don't mind saying, I was a bit hurt.

There's also only one formal pic of us together at her wedding, where I was included in a shot which was a line-up of all her uni mates, plus me. I wasn't quick enough to get in the line either, so I'm right at the very end of the line, looking like the least-favoured friend. Even though we've been bffs (at that point) for 10 years.

There's loads of formal pics of her at my wedding.

She's been married well over a decade now, and I'm still a bit irritated by it tbh!

I kind of get it, but it's one of those things you'll have to suck up and keep a smile on to be honest.

My sister was MoH at my wedding. 2 years later she called me from Vegas...married! I was initially a bit hurt but it was exactly the wedding she wanted and she was so happy.

She also later said the main reason for having no one there was the attention made her anxious.So god know how she managed at mine, she even carried my wriggly baby down the aisle!

They can have their wedding as they wish, dh and I had family only , there were 40 people including us on our wedding day. No friends invited, Was a perfect day and certainly nowhere as costly as friends big weddings! We spent £5000 and that was including our honeymoon whereas friends weddings were closer to 20k. Huge difference.

You really can’t figure out the difference?

If your friend is such a good friend surely you’d just tell her you are gutted you won’t be her bridesmaid after you both planned to be each others when you were little.

For heaven’s sake, do NOT do this. It’s ridiculous. Be disappointed that she’s not having bridesmaids, sure, but don’t share this with her unless you want to come across as emotionally blackmailing her.

If your friend is such a good friend surely you’d just tell her you are gutted you won’t be her bridesmaid after you both planned to be each others when you were little.
I mean people, circumstances & priorities change but you should be able to talk to her!
Your reaction is a bit immature but I can see where you are coming from if you were excited to be her bridesmaid & now won’t be you have every right to be upset & gutted but you can’t get annoyed that she isn’t having bridesmaids because her wedding is her wedding not yours & she can do what she likes at it.

In your original post,you said you were "quite upset". In a follow-up post, you were "just taken aback a little". Seems like quite a difference. What's up with that?

A 'bit' immature?? A lot!! If you're this miffed at not being a bridesmaid, how are you going to react when you find out her small wedding means you're not invited at all? Maybe she was hinting that to you & you've not picked up on it? Is a long-term friendship worth losing over one day?

Sadly, it was your choice to splash out on your bridesmaids, and she is under no obligation to do the same.

I think you just need to get over this one. I could understand your upset if she is having others but not you, but if she’s not having any at all I don’t feel there is a need to be hurt by this .

@Sophiesop
Maybe she is having what she can afford. Maybe she is having the wedding that the groom wants to have. Maybe after seeing all that was involved in the lead up to your wedding ,she has decided that she does not want the cost and stress.

You had the wedding of your choice and assumedly she was happy for you. Why can't you be happy for her.?

If you are truly a friend, you will wish her well and be happy that she has found happiness.