Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Drunk dial shame

120 replies

Arleybarls · 01/06/2023 12:40

I'm seeing a man and it's going really well. On Sunday, I went to the pub and came home and had a few joints with the neighbour in the garden. I didn't think I was very drunk but the weed went to my head. Anyway, I drunk dialled the guy I'm seeing and sent a few messages - nothing particularly bad, just a bit cringey. I can't remember whether he answered the phone though. I've been worrying all week and he hasn't contacted me. I haven't contacted him because I'm too ashamed. We'd planned to go on a hike on Saturday and I'm wondering what to do? Any advice?

Please don't tell me what a dickhead I am - I know that already!

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 01/06/2023 16:39

Arleybarls · 01/06/2023 15:58

God, I didn't realise this would descend into something so disparaging and unkind.

For reference, comedycook, I don't have a sofa in the front garden but my god your snobbery is revealing. I'm a senior NHS scientist with a PhD in a teaching hospital working on genetic biomarkers in leukemia patients predictive of clinical outcome and identifying novel therapeutic targets. I had a few drinks on a bank holiday weekend and came home and enjoyed the last of the sun in the garden whilst my son was with his dad. The new neighbours (teacher and social worker) were also in the garden and asked for a corkscrew over the fence and we got chatting.

Yes, drunk dialling is unappealing and if this man decides it's not for him, I absolutely understand. I was a nobhead. But the comments and the snobbery about sofas in front gardens is just so revealing. You may as well have asked if I'm poor and on benefits because that's what you're getting at.

Well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 16:33

Alcohol and other drugs are far more of a concern than a bit of weed

Well tell that to the police who intimately searched a black child who apparently smelt of weed...bet the op and her oh so middle class neighbours won't be strip searched anytime soon...

One rule for one...

Salvadoral · 01/06/2023 16:28

The professions and qualifications of you and your neighbours are irrelevant, OP (although they show that you should know better). Did your neighbours grow it themselves, or are you all willingly supporting a criminal system responsible for the exploitation and death of thousands?

onecarrot · 01/06/2023 16:28

Alcohol and other drugs are far more of a concern than a bit of weed. How many stoners do you hear of going out causing trouble, fighting, committing serious crimes. Next to none because they are all eating shit on the sofa out the front of their house.

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 16:21

Hannahsbananas · 01/06/2023 16:19

Don’t be daft, with your “no harm, never hurt anyone” nonsense 🙄
That’s not actually true, is it?

No one is harmed in the manufacture and distribution of drugs as long as the people taking it have a PhD and a middle class job.

Hannahsbananas · 01/06/2023 16:19

onecarrot · 01/06/2023 13:56

A bit of weed late at night never hurt anyone. Don't like the smell but it's not actually causing any harm. The world would probably be a nicer place if everyone smoked weed.

I don't take drugs but couldn't give a shit what others do in their gardens at night time.

Don’t be daft, with your “no harm, never hurt anyone” nonsense 🙄
That’s not actually true, is it?

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 16:12

Aren't teachers and social workers usually all over parents who take drugs...or do you get a free pass if you have a PhD?

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 16:03

Arleybarls · 01/06/2023 15:58

God, I didn't realise this would descend into something so disparaging and unkind.

For reference, comedycook, I don't have a sofa in the front garden but my god your snobbery is revealing. I'm a senior NHS scientist with a PhD in a teaching hospital working on genetic biomarkers in leukemia patients predictive of clinical outcome and identifying novel therapeutic targets. I had a few drinks on a bank holiday weekend and came home and enjoyed the last of the sun in the garden whilst my son was with his dad. The new neighbours (teacher and social worker) were also in the garden and asked for a corkscrew over the fence and we got chatting.

Yes, drunk dialling is unappealing and if this man decides it's not for him, I absolutely understand. I was a nobhead. But the comments and the snobbery about sofas in front gardens is just so revealing. You may as well have asked if I'm poor and on benefits because that's what you're getting at.

I hate all drug taking...but my main gripe is doing it outside. I once dried my dcs uniforms outside and a neighbour was smoking weed. Had to take all my washing in so my mixed race DC's uniform didn't smell... because obviously if you with your PhD takes drugs, it's fine but if a black kid is suspected of it, it's a whole different story.

Anyway, your behaviour is full of red flags so yeah, best of luck with your date at the weekend.

Arleybarls · 01/06/2023 15:58

God, I didn't realise this would descend into something so disparaging and unkind.

For reference, comedycook, I don't have a sofa in the front garden but my god your snobbery is revealing. I'm a senior NHS scientist with a PhD in a teaching hospital working on genetic biomarkers in leukemia patients predictive of clinical outcome and identifying novel therapeutic targets. I had a few drinks on a bank holiday weekend and came home and enjoyed the last of the sun in the garden whilst my son was with his dad. The new neighbours (teacher and social worker) were also in the garden and asked for a corkscrew over the fence and we got chatting.

Yes, drunk dialling is unappealing and if this man decides it's not for him, I absolutely understand. I was a nobhead. But the comments and the snobbery about sofas in front gardens is just so revealing. You may as well have asked if I'm poor and on benefits because that's what you're getting at.

OP posts:
MumblesParty · 01/06/2023 15:32

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 01/06/2023 14:53

Honestly, if someone I was in the early days of seeing, drunk texted me, and told me they were smoking weed, I would end the relationship there. I don’t like drugs.

Yes, I am boring.

Same here. But I’m 55 with a house, job and kids. If OP is a footloose and fancy-free 20-something then it’s probably different.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 01/06/2023 15:24

For me the drunk dialling (whether you mentioned weed or not) would put me off. Call me old fashioned.

2-3 months down the line when you know someone better, probably fine.

BastetsWhiskers · 01/06/2023 15:18

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 01/06/2023 14:53

Honestly, if someone I was in the early days of seeing, drunk texted me, and told me they were smoking weed, I would end the relationship there. I don’t like drugs.

Yes, I am boring.

That's fine though, it's his choice. Nothing wrong about that.

OP and he might not be compatible but she won't find out unless she contacts him.

I was thinking more about this in vino veritas thing, last week I needed to have a conversation with a friend but I only brought it up after a drink as it was difficult to say. However if you're a bit pissed you can talk utter rubbish.

Beezknees · 01/06/2023 15:16

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:12

You don't watch the news?

Yes, why?

onecarrot · 01/06/2023 15:15

I bet you drink wine or some other alcoholic beverage which is also a drug but a taxable one so it's ok.

QueenAstrid · 01/06/2023 15:15

Watching for updates and ComedyCooks’ entertainment value.
OP please send him the text that PP sent. We’ve all been there! (Apart from ComedyCook).

onecarrot · 01/06/2023 15:14

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:05

Common or posh..take drugs, you're scum in my eyes ...even more scum if you smoke outside and inflict it on others. Like I said, if my DC smell of weed because of random scum who smoke outdoors, then we all know what happens.

The likely hood of your kids smelling of weed is slim to none from smoking outside in the open atmosphere. BBQ, bonfire maybe but a tiny joint late at night ... fair enough you don't like it I think we all got that from your replies but you are hugely judgemental and come across arseholey. Glad your not my neighbour weed smoker or not.

Motnight · 01/06/2023 15:13

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:05

Common or posh..take drugs, you're scum in my eyes ...even more scum if you smoke outside and inflict it on others. Like I said, if my DC smell of weed because of random scum who smoke outdoors, then we all know what happens.

What happens?

KenAddams · 01/06/2023 15:12

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:05

Common or posh..take drugs, you're scum in my eyes ...even more scum if you smoke outside and inflict it on others. Like I said, if my DC smell of weed because of random scum who smoke outdoors, then we all know what happens.

What happens next???

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:12

Beezknees · 01/06/2023 15:09

Oh give over 😂😂😂

You don't watch the news?

Beezknees · 01/06/2023 15:09

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:05

Common or posh..take drugs, you're scum in my eyes ...even more scum if you smoke outside and inflict it on others. Like I said, if my DC smell of weed because of random scum who smoke outdoors, then we all know what happens.

Oh give over 😂😂😂

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:05

Common or posh..take drugs, you're scum in my eyes ...even more scum if you smoke outside and inflict it on others. Like I said, if my DC smell of weed because of random scum who smoke outdoors, then we all know what happens.

Beezknees · 01/06/2023 15:01

Izzabird · 01/06/2023 14:51

@Comedycook. I hate to disillusion you, but the ultra-posh do drugs, too.

Actually, I have a Debrett's-ish snob anecdote to do with drug use. I have done cocaine precisely twice in my (quite long) life, and the first time was with one of Queen Camilla's offspring. Who was definitely not a beginner...

Sounds about right. Just different drugs for different classes usually. Probably about half of the celeb world does cocaine, and people have posted here about doctors and barristers doing it. I dated somebody briefly who was a stockbroker and he said a lot of his colleagues did it to stay awake when they had to work really late.

diddl · 01/06/2023 15:00

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 01/06/2023 14:53

Honestly, if someone I was in the early days of seeing, drunk texted me, and told me they were smoking weed, I would end the relationship there. I don’t like drugs.

Yes, I am boring.

Me too.

The no apology would have been enough!

Motnight · 01/06/2023 14:59

RampantIvy · 01/06/2023 14:55

I'm boring and cautious as well. It would put me off too.

Me too. I hate the smell of joints, as well as of cigarettes and it would just put me off.

RampantIvy · 01/06/2023 14:55

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 01/06/2023 14:53

Honestly, if someone I was in the early days of seeing, drunk texted me, and told me they were smoking weed, I would end the relationship there. I don’t like drugs.

Yes, I am boring.

I'm boring and cautious as well. It would put me off too.