Bill-splitting

Well done!

Years ago I went out a few times with a guy who saw it as a slight on his manhood for me to get the drinks in. But when we went out with friends (mostly single) he'd only buy one round and it didn't compute with him why this was unfair and tight.

I think it was about 75% of the reason I broke up with him. Can't stand rip off merchants (or men with weirdo ideas about being a "gentleman").

I went out for dinner with my DB and SIL recently. When the bill came DB split it 50/50. I pointed out that there were 3 of us and therefore I would pay 1/3. Apparently because they have a joint account they only ever pay as 1 person. I laughed. Put my 1/3 (cash) on the table and refused to pay a penny more.

😂

I think you're right, and that actually they're just mean. A good friend would look out for you and would never let something so unfair happen when out for dinner. Definitely distance yourself from them.

Oh look OP, this lady's offering to pay your share as it's "only 20 quid" How kind!!! Be sure to post your details. Cash or cheque?

I am the one who invariably splits the bill, when I go out to eat (not often), I like to eat and drink what I want, I don’t want to go for the set menu if I don’t want to, or miss dessert, it’s a treat and I want to enjoy.

I am meticulous about paying my way completely and making sure someone who has chosen cheapest alternatives does not subsidise my choices (or anyone else’s). I want to sort the bill myself to ensure I don’t feel I have to chose options I don’t want or it won’t be fair.

hopefully then my friends don’t say I’ve gorged on a banquet or drunk the place dry!

maybe that’s why I’m always asked to deal with the bill and what people owe etc.

So it’s not always the people trying to be cheapskates that do the bill split.

Bill splitting is okay when you all eat the same

But the issue here isn't just spotting it equally, it's splitting it into 3 equal parts when it's 5 people. That's just madness!

Op yes that’s unfair, I don’t drink when I go out but friends do they always take the alcohol out of the bill before spilling it. However you can’t bring it up now after the event that would just be very petty . If you go again just have a line ready to say when the bill arrives like let’s share this 5 ways or however many are eating. A learning curve this time

So, you paid 20 pounds for a life lesson learnt.

You need to stay aware and speak up for your self.

The 3 way split was not thought out well but not a reason to cut a friendship. Next time be on your game.

Ugh, I can't bear bill-splitting. It's invariably suggested and "organised" by someone at the table who knows how to get themselves a cheap night out.
I've been stung this way. Having driven to the venue to meet the others, and watched them quaff gallons of wine, it's almost funny how the one with the biggest mouth declares that they've cleverly split the bill so many ways... totally ignoring the fact that some have only had one course and a couple of soft drinks, while others have gorged on a banquet and drunk the place dry.

why should op spend an EXTRA £20 subsidising someone elses meals? By that logic, it was only £10 per couple extra so why are THEY going out if they can't afford to pay for the food they ate

OP can - £20 new out budget is different to £40 meal out budget. Not hard to work out.

It’s shit OP but I think it’s too late to say anything now after the event but please learn from this and if theres a next time, then only pay your fair share - don’t subsidise these grabbers

Sorry OP, thats not a nice situation. I would not go out with them again and would think less of everyone there who did not stand up for you. They arent your friends.

If you put the overall figures in - based on OP overpaying by £20 it's even more cheeky fuckery than it sounds at first.

it must have been a total bill of £150 and OP paid £50 while the others paid £25 each.

What a delightful thread..some very choice posters on here

OP I hope you do come back and look at some of the very kind responses to your plight, and ignore totally the idiotic ones

I get why you didn't say anything, money is always a delicate subject, however, you can't allow it to happen again. Next time, you think about what you can do with that ££ you're about to give away, that'll make you speak up!

And to the poster who said "it won't break the bank" I hope to fuck you never fall on hard times..what an absolute dick you are..

Horrible. Not sure anyone could think this was fair when suggesting it. I would have said, it's okay I'll just get my own.

Really? I think the op behaved as most would when taken aback in an awkward situation and is certainly less of a cunt than some on here who would have created a massive scene without a second thought! Though I suspect some of the keyboard warriors may be a lot less bold than they are happy to be online.

Harsh but fair!

And I can see why the op didn’t speak up at the time. You wouldn’t be expecting people to assume you’re paying for them and the op was probably shocked. It’s much easier to think of what to say in hindsight!

As a fellow unassertive person I’d probably say nothing now and just avoid eating out with them in future. It would probably be more awkward to bring it up now than at the time. If you do want to go out with them again though at least you’re prepared and can say something like “is it ok if I just pay for my food? I’m a bit skint until pay day. Obviously I’ll pay towards the tip”. That’s very unconfrontational but makes it clear that they’re asking you to pay for their food and they can’t really say “no, you have to pay for us”.

Take your money to have it ready beforehand. Or say this time you’ll just cover what you’ve had if that’s ok with everyone. You have every right to own it sometimes people are really thick.

Yep it should have been split 5 ways, each couple to pay 2/5 if they are paying together. But I don’t get why you wouldn’t just speak up. Next time be brave!

I agree. I thought posters falling over themselves to get in the first 'so what happened when you told them to fuck off OP?' type reply had finally died a death along with the pearl clutching. But no. It's just snarky and unhelpful. I usually feel mildly irritated when I see someone dusting it off for the millionth time.

OP, I get it - in the real world, many people would have just paid up and felt sore about it afterwards, the same as you. YANBU, obv.