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Original poster

Bill-splitting

270 replies

Clemsie · 31/05/2023 00:27

Five of us had dinner last night - two couples and myself (I’m a single parent). At the end when the bill arrived, one of the couples declared that the bill would be split three ways. I’m not sure how it made sense that a bill for a party of five was split three ways but was too embarrassed to say anything. As a result I’m £20 out of pocket. AIBU to think that the bill should not
have been split three ways? Also, should I just stay quiet about the £20 and never go out with them again? What is the correct bill-splitting etiquette in this situation?

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 31/05/2023 08:00

I often go out for meals in a group of five (two couples and one single person) and we always split it by five. That's just not on.

Coralsunset · 31/05/2023 07:59

As these are friends, I don’t really understand why you didn’t say anything at the time. I think it’s too late now.

In future, just say “oh so there’s five of us, so my share is £x.”

I eat out fairly often in large groups, and we always take the booze off first, so non drinkers aren’t paying for a share of that. It doesn’t have to be down to the minutiae of who ate the salad and who had the steak, but a little adjustment means nobody feels taken advantage of.

CharlottenBurger · 31/05/2023 07:52

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:41

Don't go for meals then, stay home if you can't afford to spend 20 on a meal

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It's not the £20, it's the £20 more than her fair share of the bill she's bothered about.

Cc1998 · 31/05/2023 06:39

Completely crazy to me that you didn't simply say "I'll just pay for what I had". That £20 was your pushover tax.

Poppyblush · 31/05/2023 04:47

You should have said something!!!

Maddy70 · 31/05/2023 03:55

Why didn't you say. That's not correct. It's split 5 Ways ?

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 31/05/2023 03:37

Itsanotherhreatday · 31/05/2023 00:37

Message one of them tomorrow and say ‘Hey, bit unfair the bill was split 3 ways instead of 5, not sure why I’m subsiding the married couples!’

See what they say, don’t be quite stand up for yourself.

Erm no, don’t do this.

You didn’t say anything at the time so why is it okay to message now? Can’t you speak up in person?

Sorry but I will never understand these types of threads. You had an opportunity to say something at the restaurant but you didn’t. If these are your friends and people that you’re choosing to socialise with, a simple ‘oh sorry guys can we split the bill this way instead’ would have solved the problem.

Now you’re on the internet complaining. What heck are we supposed to do?!

nosunshinewhenshesgone · 31/05/2023 03:32

They're either CFers, or they're shit at maths.

It would have made sense to split it 5 ways but only have 3 people pay.

I.e. you would have paid 20% and one person from each couple would have paid 40%.

Phoebo · 31/05/2023 03:16

Do people not know how to do maths? OP paid a third, which is more than a fifth. A third for a couple mean the couples ended up paying a sixth. Spoiler alert a fifth is more than sixth. It's just bad manners really. The only thing is if OP had more expensive food or drinks then she may have been better off.

SD1978 · 31/05/2023 02:40

They took the piss. The bill should have been split equally per person, not per couple.

aloris · 31/05/2023 01:57

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:38

It's £20. Hardly gonna break the bank

That being the case, there's absolutely no reason each couple shouldn't pay the 10 they owe to OP!

GrumpyPanda · 31/05/2023 01:50

Itsanotherhreatday · 31/05/2023 00:48

Don't go for meals then, stay home if you can't afford to spend 20 on a meal

Lets say total meal was £100

5 ways is £20 each and £40 per couple

or 3 ways is £34 per person and £34 per couple - making it £17 per person in a couple

Does that sound fair?

If OP was out of pocket by £20, then if you do the sums the actual figures are much starker. Total meal was £150. £30 would have been her fair share but she was made to shell out £50 instead, and each of the couples saved £10 thanks to her subsidy.

Should be fairly straightforward to ask for it back under the circumstances as pp have suggested.

Theblacksheepandme · 31/05/2023 01:46

I wouldn't do anything about it now OP but going forward it's not unreasonable to say something. It was unfair of them for not thinking that you would be paying more.

JandalsAlways · 31/05/2023 01:46

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 31/05/2023 00:36

You pay a fifth and the couples pay two fifths each. There were five of you, not three.

Agree. I'm assuming the person meant it for simplicity and didn't actually do the maths and realise the implication tbf. Very annoying though! Next time speak up! Or just pay for your own.

Theblacksheepandme · 31/05/2023 01:43

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:38

It's £20. Hardly gonna break the bank

Is that you Ann Widdecombe?

RunningUpThatMill · 31/05/2023 01:31

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:38

It's £20. Hardly gonna break the bank

I wouldn't dream of making a friend be £20 out of pocket.

I also don't know how you know that £20 isn't breaking the bank for the OP.

ThinWomansBrain · 31/05/2023 01:31

I'm single, eat out a lot... have never in my life been out with a group of friends that suggest splitting by pair/singles equally - and if anyone did I'd challenge it.
If they're such good friends, why are you embarrassed to mention it?

GrumpyPanda · 31/05/2023 01:28

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:38

It's £20. Hardly gonna break the bank

Then surely, paying fairly wouldn't have bankrupted the smug marrieds...

RunningUpThatMill · 31/05/2023 01:24

Wow. I can't believe that one of the couples didn't point out how unfair it was. I would have.

Tbh OP, I'd personally say nothing, but only because I could afford to cover it, I'd also make sure I was more prepared in future. What you do is up to you though, and I don't think you'd be unreasonable to raise it.

I think you've been treated unfairly, and I'd have been too embarrassed to say anything at the time too.

AllyCart · 31/05/2023 00:58

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 31/05/2023 00:53

Wow. And I thought the OP was the silliest person in the thread - but nope.

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i think @Attractedtotheofflimits is the CF that ripped OP off.

SparklyBlackKitten · 31/05/2023 00:56

Of course you stay quiet about it now ..
You should have spoken up at dinner

You can't go all boohoo when you did nothing to stop it

Was it wrong for them to split that way
Yeah probably
But you should have mentioned it right there then :)

If they you are your friends, just speak up next time and make sure you pay for only your share

20 quid wouldnt be enough to quit your friendship over sorely?

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 31/05/2023 00:53

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:47

Yeah I do! Clothes I buy and never wear!! Had a bust up with dh over this tonight 😅😅

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Wow. And I thought the OP was the silliest person in the thread - but nope.

GwinCoch · 31/05/2023 00:53

Attractedtotheofflimits · 31/05/2023 00:47

Yeah I do! Clothes I buy and never wear!! Had a bust up with dh over this tonight 😅😅

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Ah well, slightly different scenario!

ZekeZeke · 31/05/2023 00:51

Did you have extra food, like a starter and dessert or wine/cocktails that the others didn't have?

NineOfNine · 31/05/2023 00:50

Next time be ready to say something.

Whether you’re suggesting that you only pay for what you’ve ordered, or whether you’re suggesting that the bill be split 5 ways, be ready to get in there, stand up for yourself and say something so that you’re not subsidising the others out of politeness.

If they’re friends then they should be ok with that. It’s possible that the bill splitting suggestion here was more thoughtlessness than anything else.