Page 2 | Gift for cheater.

Iwasrightallalong · 2023-05-29T21:38:59+00:00

Posting here as not sure where else to post. Really odd question but what would you buy for Father’s Day for a recent ex that you just found out had cheated on you so there’s a lot of upset and hurt feelings etc. i would love to just get nothing at all but unfortunately DC is too young to buy their own gift and I don’t want to come across as the bitter ex and like I’m trying to get back at him through his DC. But equally I’m not a complete fool so don’t want to go to huge expense or effort, any ideas?

Weatherwife · 30/05/2023 07:48

How old is DC? Can they scribble a picture/make some sort of craft for him?

TenoringBehind · 30/05/2023 07:45

Nothing.

but we don’t do Father’s Day anyway

peachicecream · 30/05/2023 07:37

rightroyalblues · 30/05/2023 00:02

A nice card (definitely not to the best dad ever) and a £20 shirt from Next with a gift receipt. Be the bigger person and do it for your kids. It's not about him, it's about your kids and your standards. Don't stoop to his level.

How is it about the kids when DC isn't even old enough to know/ care that it's father's day? It really doesn't matter. I think it's a bit weird to get him something tbh, it's obviously from OP and not the child.

peachicecream · 30/05/2023 07:35

I wouldn't bother. Do you think he would bother for you if it was mothers day?

Monkeymonkeymoo · 30/05/2023 07:34

N0tfinished · 30/05/2023 06:55

How about a framed picture of the kids?

I think if you want to get him something (and it sounds like you’ve got your reasons to) then this is a good idea.
You don’t have to put any effort in (you can just grab a cheap frame in Tesco when you do a supermarket shop) and then use a photo you already have printed or help your kids do a drawing to frame. It’ll cost a couple of pounds but is enough that his family would look nuts if they say that you’re being petty or bitter (not that you are being petty or bitter, he sounds like a total knob). You can also do the same thing every year with a new photo or drawing, so you never need to think about it again.

There are also loads of cheap cards that don’t say anything about him being amazing. They just acknowledge the fact it’s Father’s Day (presumably there’s a market for cards for shit dads).

Rubychews · 30/05/2023 07:33

Fraaahnces · 30/05/2023 05:21

I wouldn’t get a dad mug. They usually say “World’s Greatest” or refer to superheroes, etc. He doesn’t sound great, and also he will
know that OP chose it.

I’ve seen some spectacularly rubbish ones that just say Dad, one that just says happy Father’s Day is the way to go. Buy 5 the same and just give one every year.

Srin · 30/05/2023 07:28

Sorry, just saw your update. Still don’t think you should get anything.

Srin · 30/05/2023 07:27

Nothing at all. Your ex is responsible for his relationship with his son. I’m astonished anyone thinks you should. This is going to sound a bit harsh because you have kind intentions, but why on earth would you even consider picking out a card or present for your cheating ex, unless you still want to please him.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 30/05/2023 06:55

A card saying worlds best dad. He will know your taking the piss but can’t say anything without acknowledging he’s a failure.

Augend23 · 30/05/2023 06:55

In our household the classic father's Day gifts have always been beer/wine/chocolates. Could you get a supermarket box of chocs? Lindor, or a big toblerone or similar? That's neither very intimate nor offensive. Then a bought card (maybe a blank one to save it having "best dad" or whatever in it? Assuming the little one is so little they can't scribble anything on it etc?

N0tfinished · 30/05/2023 06:55

How about a framed picture of the kids?

Kokopenny · 30/05/2023 06:53

Fuck that, mine got nothing, nothing for Xmas or his birthday either, he didn’t deserve it

ExhaustedAlready · 30/05/2023 06:50

I'd get him this lego set 😉

CrystalCoco · 30/05/2023 06:48

Not a single thing.

No card.

No gift.

No acknowledgement of the the day whatsoever.
When DC is older they can do something themselves if they'd like to but at the moment I'd do absolutely nothing for him.

Namechangedforthis2244 · 30/05/2023 05:52

Poundland is your friend here. Child gets £1 and can choose anything they think dad would like. If they’re too young to choose get a box of maltesers.

I do think that it’s important to teach children about gift giving and mine would have been upset to get their dad nothing.

messybutfun · 30/05/2023 05:50

I really don’t get the gift buying stuff for Father’s Day. A shirt as a present from a baby? It’s supposed to be from the child. So anything more than a self-made card, painting or toilet roll sculpture completely misses the point.

Apart from that it could also send out the message that you are a bit desperate to have him back.

Madamecastafiore · 30/05/2023 05:47

Just something you know he hates.

I got the car in divorce, he still had to pay the loan as it wasn't secured on the car and he had a company car so judge gave me the family car, couple months later he lost job and got another but with no car so had to rely on public transport for a while. It was Father's Day during his public transport stint (he was furious he couldn't just make me return the car) so I bought him a very swanky car cleaning kit.

Fraaahnces · 30/05/2023 05:21

I wouldn’t get a dad mug. They usually say “World’s Greatest” or refer to superheroes, etc. He doesn’t sound great, and also he will
know that OP chose it.

Rubychews · 30/05/2023 05:18

A dad mug. Nobody wants that tat but kids love it. He can’t get rid of it because kids will ask about it.

MrsMikeDrop · 30/05/2023 05:15

Iwasrightallalong · 30/05/2023 05:07

Thanks everyone, yes he did get me a gift for Mother’s Day, although that was prior to the cheating being confirmed.

i know DC doesn’t understand but it’s just something we decided to do, to get each other a card and gift for the day to mark the occasion until DC is old enough to do it themselves.
For those saying I’m silly or ridiculous etc, my ex and his family are turning out to not be the nicest of people, really quite dangerous actually (not physically) so whilst I don’t care a jot what any of them think of me I will do what I can to avoid being made out to be the crazy, bitter ex, I feel it very important not to give any of them any kind of ammunition they can use against me.

In that case just go to the supermarket or poundstore and let DC pick something

JandalsAlways · 30/05/2023 05:14

How old is DC? If too young to even know, then nothing.

Fraaahnces · 30/05/2023 05:12

If DC is too young to understand Father’s Day, don’t bother with it. It will only be when the kid goes to preschool or school that they really understand it anyway.

Original poster

Iwasrightallalong · 30/05/2023 05:07

Thanks everyone, yes he did get me a gift for Mother’s Day, although that was prior to the cheating being confirmed.

i know DC doesn’t understand but it’s just something we decided to do, to get each other a card and gift for the day to mark the occasion until DC is old enough to do it themselves.
For those saying I’m silly or ridiculous etc, my ex and his family are turning out to not be the nicest of people, really quite dangerous actually (not physically) so whilst I don’t care a jot what any of them think of me I will do what I can to avoid being made out to be the crazy, bitter ex, I feel it very important not to give any of them any kind of ammunition they can use against me.

OP posts:

FrostieBoabby · 30/05/2023 00:42

Can DC just make a card, if they're really young just scribbles and you can print off some Happy fathers day picture and stick it on removing any need for you to handwright anything.

(Maybe just me but I couldn't bring myself to write out a card for a cheater without drawing a very big prick on it!)

PosseGalore · 30/05/2023 00:24

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 29/05/2023 22:44

Don’t buy anything, not even a card. Fold a piece of paper in half, DC draws a picture and writes a message. Your ex shouldn’t need anything more than that.

I like your style. Brilliant.