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AIBU?

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Original poster

Entitled parent?

62 replies

MusicalityM · 27/05/2023 18:39

I’m an instrumental tutor and visit schools each week. I have a particular parent who I’m finding a little difficult and wondered what other parents think about this situation.

The child in question frequently forgets their instrument, but I there’s generally a spare instrument at the school so they can still come for their lesson and use that.

Although my t’s & c’s require payment 24 hours before the lesson, this parent will often pay after the lesson. I try and be flexible as I know a lot of people are struggling financially and music tuition isn’t exactly top of this list so I don’t say anything and just send a polite reminder text by the day after and then they pay.

last week the instrument was forgotten again but on this day we couldn’t find the spare. I asked if she still wanted to come to the lesson to see what we covered and the homework etc and she agreed.

I then text the parent about payment and was told they wouldn’t be paying as she didn’t have a ‘proper lesson’. Parent then said maybe I should just bill them each month or so for the lessons she’s had. They added ‘it may be helpful if I text a reminder the day before the lesson!

Is this completely entitled behaviour? I certainly will not be offering lessons in advance of payment as this is obviously an ineffective way to run a business!

The girl is a lovely student who’s really bright and enthusiastic , but I really don’t want to deal with the parent anymore.

AIBU to suggest they sign up with local music service so she’ll be allocated a different tutor? Do you think this parent is a bit entitled?

OP posts:
CostelloJones · 27/05/2023 18:52

Can you not explain to them firmly but politely that they need to sort themselves out (not in those words) or you will have to stop offering them your services as a tutor.

and then arrange for them to pay for their block of lessons either termly or monthly, before they have had them? And make it clear if they don’t pre pay within a certain time from receiving the invoice, say a week, the lessons will go to someone else.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 27/05/2023 18:51

I pay for my DD’s lessons annually. Weekly is a hassle, and I probably would forget. But they should absolutely pay ahead of lessons, not after, and they’re paying you for your time, not for the quality of instruction if the kid forgets their instrument! Even if you’d given no lesson at all that week, they should still pay for that hour because you couldn’t have made up the income in another way, and not being able to have a proper lesson was their fault, not yours.

Wildandwonderful · 27/05/2023 18:51

Payment in advance. If they forget their instrument it is their problem. You deserve to be paid for your time, even if they have wasted the time.

drpet49 · 27/05/2023 18:51

PyjamaFan · 27/05/2023 18:43

I would stop teaching that child.

Me too. They can’t even be bothered to turn up with their instrument let alone the payment issue. Get rid.

Original poster
MusicalityM · 27/05/2023 18:50

Yes I agree, most students pay either monthly or half termly in advance this works well. However, some parents just can’t afford to that which I totally understand and opt to pay weekly. It’s not so much the late payment (they do always pay eventually) it’s the attitude from the parent which bothers me more. I’m also worried if I stop teaching her they’ll kick up a stink at school and then I’ll be involved in that too!

OP posts:
Riverlee · 27/05/2023 18:49

On the basis that you gave the parent the option of cancelling the lesson, she still owes you for that lesson. She is paying for your time, not content of the lesson.

I think a stiffly worded letter (or email) is needed, re-affirming your t and cs. If she doesn’t pay, no lesson. Three no payments, them she’s out. If her daughter suffers, then it’s the mums fault, not yours.

i don’t necessary think she’s entitled, but scatty. I also think she doesn’t pay upfront, because then if she decides not to come, she hasn’t lost the money.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/05/2023 18:47

The refusal to pay for the lesson is unacceptable and I'd stop teaching over that.

IglesiasPiggl · 27/05/2023 18:46

I would stop doing payment after each lesson. I pay termly for my DSs lessons. If he forgets his instrument tough luck. You are making work for yourself with your billing set up.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/05/2023 18:46

I think I'd move to not offering a lesson if they hadn't paid in advance.

tweener · 27/05/2023 18:45

Just explain that whether the school has a spare available or not isn't your problem, parent needs to ensure child brings their own instrument and payment received 24 hours before. If it's not received don't attend the lesson.

PyjamaFan · 27/05/2023 18:43

I would stop teaching that child.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/05/2023 18:42

Turn it round-you could pay at the beginning of the month for that months lessons but I cannot bill that much retrospectively. If she goes through the usual music service route she would have to pay the whole term in advance!