Entitled parent?

Well if the lack of “proper lesson” is their own fault for not bringing their instrument. Now you know they’ll use as an excuse to not pay. Going forward: No instrument no lesson.

I agree with those who suggest standing your ground over payment in advance.

I feel sorry for the child with a parent like that. I wonder if the child is witness to unreasonable behaviour or taught in that way, which could hinder her as she grows up, such as in keeping friendships.

Just because there are other kids in the lesson doesn't mean you're not missing out if one doesn't show or doesn't pay. I assume there's a max of - what? - 4 or 6 kids per session? If you hadn't reserved a spot for non-payer kid, you could have booked another kid into the slot instead.

Stand your ground, and offer her the chance to pay in advance but not in arrears.

I would consider the option of doing something like auto-scheduling weekly reminders for all students to go out the afternoon prior just to be helpful but only if you can do this in a low effort way.

We are a bit flaky and kid sometimes forgets their guitar, or forgets to attend, but I wouldn't DREAM of not paying... completely our fault!

Can you afford to lose the student? If you're texting a payment chase anyway, wouldn't it make sense to just do it the day before so 1) you're paid and 2) they have an instrument?

She's choosing to pay after the lesson as she thinks she's onto a winner as if her DD does not attend, in her mind she won't need to pay.

I appreciate you want to remain civil, but you do need to insist that going forward she follows the payment terms as set out in ts and cs or unfortunately DD can no longer attend. Also, the outstanding fees on the account need bringing up to date before DD can return.

Tell the parent you can't run a business that way. This is your business they don't get to call the shots on how and when you take payment.

You are happy for monthly payments but in advance of the lessons, not after. And if there are any missed lessons explain how you handle that depending on the notice they have given you.** So for example, if they pre-warn you that they can't make a lesson a week in advance, give them a credit note or a lesson at a different time. If they dump it on you on the day, tough shit. You can't fill a slot at such short notice.

Reiterate it is their responsibility to remember their instrument and if there is a spare lying around then you are happy for them to use it, but this cannot be guaranteed.

If they can't have a full lesson because of their own stupidity that's on them, they still took the slot and used your time.

Could you charge up front by the term, by the half term and also weekly but always two weeks in advance? ie They pay for two weeks up front then every week and don't pay for the final two weeks (as they are already paid for).
Make it clear that the last payment option is not available to students who forget to pay.

Explain to the child how to set up a reminder about her instrument - a note on her school bag, on her door, on her phone, a friend who attends the lesson reminding her. etc. Give her options to remember. She might help the parents.

If she continues to not pay then her options of payment are the first two only.
If she doesn't cancel for good reason at least 48 hours in advance then she has to pay for the lesson. If she doesn't remember the instrument then she still has to pay.
Set up the rules for everyone.

Give each child one chance then drop them until the following term when they might like to re-apply.
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Cultural differences can mean anything. It could mean that they just come across as blunt. It could mean that they don't have any respect for you and see you as their lowly employee. If you allow them to treat you badly they will.

I think you need to be very firm so that you aren't messed around. Many people do far more than charge 24hrs in advance. All the external providers offering after school activities at my kids state primary school are paid at least half termly in advance with no refunds for missed lessons by children. Our music lessons were also paid on advance.

Our tutor is paid four weekly in advance or no lessons. When my first child was with them it was payment on the day. I imagine dealing with cf's and all the running around made them change their terms. We do get a refund if we give 48hrs notice which I'm actually surprised about and wouldn't expect.

Re iterate your terms or even introduce new ones from September. It's the perfect time of year to send those out. No payment no lesson. If child turns up not having paid you let them know gently that they don't have a lesson this week/ term. If this parent kicks off don't offer lessons for that child anymore. Is it worth having them when they cause so much disruption and headache?

No negotiating. Don't be too nice, people just take advantage. If you are worried about school then inform them that you have been having problems and are being stricter next term.

If the child does not attend due to illness etc do you still charge?

I would message and say they can pay weekly, monthly or termly but must be in advance. If you don't charge for missed lessons then next time send the child away unless already paid.

Send an email restating your terms

Be firm.

I don't think she is entitled or obnoxious for suggesting a monthly/termly payment or for asking for a reminder email. I don't think it means you have to provide it for her, but information systems and online payments mean this sort of way of doing business is quite standard for many services. It probably doesn't occur to her that you don't have everything automated.

You have let things slide and been flexible because you assume people are having a hard time but it's also much easier for you if you aren't having to check before each lesson whether payment was received and then canceling the lesson if it wasn't. The parent is just as interested in an easy life, it's not surprising they'd rather have a prompt and IT systems have made providing that easy for businesses to do, so many do.

Her refusal to pay for the lesson her child didn't bring their instrument to is entitled (and obnoxious).

I think you just need to become very businesslike with her. Resend your T&C's highlighting the 24hrs in advance clause. Tell her that you will be enforcing the T&Cs from now on, but you are happy to take payment on a monthly or termly basis in advance if she prefers that. Be clear that she owes the money for the previous lesson as well and that providing an instrument is her responsibility, inability to do so is not a valid reason for cancellation without notice. Say that her child won't get another lesson unless that debt is paid off and the next lesson paid for in accordance with the terms and conditions. If she goes to the school and they kick up a stink, point them to the T&Cs and calmly say you aren't prepared to waiver from them for this client because she threatened not to pay when it suited her - and stick to it.

Also get them to sign the T &Cs so you can tell them “ well you signed this which is you agreeing to…..”

I teach people to drive. I ask for payment 24 hrs in advance by bank transfer. No payment, no lesson. I do send a text 24 hrs before as a reminder and that’s often when people tell me they can’t make the lesson.
Even with 24 hrs notice though I can rarely fill the space.

I think you should respond by stating that you have been flexible enough up to this point and that she has signed legally binding terms and conditions. You expect payment for the lesson and from now on you would like payment 24hrs prior as per said T&C’s, which may in turn inspire her to remind her kid to bring her instrument as everyone else seems to manage.

I'd suggest that paying monthly is a great idea, and they can do a month in advance. Alternatively suggest they set up an automatic payment to save having send reminders. I'd also remind them that it's their responsibility to bring their instrument. I'd sent one communication with this, and then if you don't need the business drop them. Not worth the hassle. Probably not entitled, just lazy, disorganised and cheeky.

If the pupil is regularly forgetting the instrument I would be wondering how much they really wanted to do ir vs pressure from the parent.

I’d send out a letter/email/reminder stating that as of such and such date all lessons must be paid for atleast one week in advance. If children forget instruments the lesson is still chargeable.
I would then refuse children who hadn’t paid in advance.

It's on you to remember to remind the parent the day before the lesson?!?!

That's not on.

I would throw it back to the parent that of course you will accept 1 month payment at a time - in advance.

If they want a reminder of the lesson (presumably they were worried about the child forgetting the instrument rather than them not paying you), offer to help them set up a reminder on their phone. The effect for them will be the same as a text anyway.

I think it’s quite normal to pay termly in advance for music lessons. I’ve certainly never know any music teacher to allow payment in arrears, and definitely not an option to not pay if they happened to forget their instrument. That’s just bonkers.

Asking you to txt a reminder is really taking the piss.

Id say to them “going forward, I’m going to need payment for the month/ term in advance, and they will be no lessons of payment is not made on time. Please let me know if you want to stop lessons if that doesn’t work for you.”

Absolutely do not allow for them not to pay for the last lesson. That is a boundary you must hold otherwise you are devaluing your work. Someone paying for music lessons for their child is hardly living hand to mouth. It’s a luxury! Also what about your financial situation?! It’s simply not ok not to pay someone for their work. I assume you’re self employed?!

I would reply “As per my terms and conditions (attached) lessons cannot be cancelled less than 24 hrs in advance and , it is the child responsibility to come to the lesson with their instrument. Flo did attend music lesson Friday and I tutored her on X,Y,Z but practical wasn’t possible because she did not bring her instrument. Therefore payment of the lesson is still required. Also as per my terms and conditions payment is required in advance. I can arrange monthly payment if that is more convenient but I will require payment a month in advance.”

Be prepared to loose them as a client. Also I’d be more mindful to pull up other clients.
maybe you need to start charging a late payment fee?

I would explain that it is actually more work for you if the child doesn't have her instrument. You have been happy to cover the extra effort, but it is an effort to find a spare instrument, or to integrate a child who is not prepared for the lesson. You will of course be charging for all lessons attended, and in the future, if this child is not prepared for the lesson, you may be unable to accommodate her.

If you give an inch to this kind of person they will take a mile.
You let them pay late- paying you is not a priority.
You find the child an instrument if it's forgotten- remembering an instrument is not important.
Be firm, you are doing a job that requires payment! Non negotiable!

The parent is completely out of order.

OP I’m also a peri teacher, I teach singing in a secondary. This absolutely would not fly at my current school, all students have to pay at least termly upfront.

I used to teach at a school where I handled invoices myself and occasionally allowed parents who were struggling to pay weekly, but I frequently ended up unpaid. From my experience parents forget that they’re paying for a private service particularly if their child receives these lessons at a state school, they seem to forget that instrumental teachers are self employed and depend on their prompt payment to pay their bills. I’ve recently decided to be much stricter and I definitely don’t feel bad if a parent stops lessons due to disagreements about paying/expecting me to make up missed lessons for free.

Definitely suggest she change teacher if you won’t miss that money and would rather not deal with the hassle. I’ve learnt it’s really not worth it, even though it’s a real shame when the student is not at fault.

I'd be sending a short note to all parents reminding of cancellation notice, lessons will not be carried over, if instruments are forgotten the lesson will still need paid for, if lessons are not paid for in advance then child will not be able to attend.