Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thank you cards

34 replies

Maniranibani · 26/05/2023 18:00

AIBU to think that my 8 year old DD’s friends should give thank you cards for their birthday presents?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
GladysHeeler · 27/05/2023 11:32

I always took a photo of each child at the party and made that into the thank you card.

BananaBum · 26/05/2023 21:27

Omg Brought not bought…

just did my own pet peeve

BananaBum · 26/05/2023 21:17

I was bought up to always give/send thank you cards for any gifts. I would always give them out at school after a birthday party and do it for my kids now.. we send them to family/non school mates and DS takes thank you cards to classmates to hand out after birthday party
so far he has only had whole class parties so might give directly to parents in the playground if he ever had a party with only a few friends

its something my mum was always really strict about and now so am I

however I don’t think it’s the norm and would never be cross to not receive one, although always really appreciate them

SitByTheLake · 26/05/2023 21:14

Well I’m going to go against what most people seem to be saying on here!
I absolutely got my son to write Thank You cards to his friends. When he was very young I’d write them and he would sign them as best he could, then he would do them under supervision when he was old enough. It was a nice way to spend an hour or two with him.

I’m guessing it’s probably not so normal now though, but I still think it’s a nice, and polite, thing to do. A shame if people can’t be bothered these days.

thaisweetchill · 26/05/2023 21:11

A text, yes but not a card. Just a waste of money especially at that age. I can understand for weddings but birthdays I don't get.

Laiste · 26/05/2023 20:46

You want an 8 year old to write cards for all the presents after a party? Presumably they or the parent thanked you on the day?

Even the class parties where you just go in and bung your present on the pile and deliver your kid - i wouldn't expect a thank you card. Or a text to be honest.

Half the time it's probably cost the hosts more per head than the incoming presents. The present is basically the price of admission 😂

Frabbits · 26/05/2023 20:27

Bin 😄

Frabbits · 26/05/2023 20:27

As long as they say thank you in some way a card is completely unnecessary. What's the point of a wasteful bit of paper you are just going to bun?

SnackQueen · 26/05/2023 20:23

Yeah good luck with that.

Rewis · 26/05/2023 20:14

In my circles thank you cards are always for big celebrations such as weddings/confirmation/graduation where you can't thank the guest personally when receiving the gift. Wouldn't expect thank you cards from birthday parties, especially kids.

TakeMyStrongHand · 26/05/2023 20:11

I don't think anyone under 60 sends thank you cards do they? Certainly not an 8 year old anyway.

With DD, I'd say thank you in person and if I had their number I would send a thank you text.

M123gotns · 26/05/2023 20:07

Not unless you've time travelled back to the '70s.

Fandabedodgy · 26/05/2023 20:07

I don't know anyone who does this. I don't.

Texts or a WhatsApp is the thing these days.

steff13 · 26/05/2023 20:00

The culture here is that the children open the gifts at the party and thank the gift giver at that time so in that case I would say no. But I know that sometimes y'all open the gifts after the party, after everybody's gone home. In that case I would say yes a thank you card or at least a little note or email is the polite thing to do.

SpongeBob2022 · 26/05/2023 19:57

I always used to do thank you cards but I think they are a thing of the past. This surprised me but have actually found it quite liberating! Both in terms of not having it on my list of things to do and also realising most people don't seem to want or value them anyway! Same with Christmas cards.

I definitely wouldn't expect to write or receive any for DS from friends (similar age). We still write them for elderly relatives because I think they appreciate them. I'd send a WhatsApp to parents of the friends.

GoodChat · 26/05/2023 19:48

No, they just needed to say thank you when the gift was given.

Presumably it's a gift in return for a party invite. If everyone keeps doing returns, when does it end?

Tiredmum100 · 26/05/2023 19:46

I hate thank you cards. I dont expect them, a text is nice and enough in my opinion.

missingthewinchesterboys · 26/05/2023 19:27

FabFitFifties · 26/05/2023 18:09

It was thankyou texts between parents at my son's school and the child said thankyou on the day. To me, thankyou cards are for people you don't see to thank in person. Can't see why you need to do both.

Thank you cards are for people you can't thank in person when you receive or open the gift.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/05/2023 19:22

Yes you are. I am totally against the sending of cards for any occasion unless you live in a different country or something. What a waste of paper and time let alone money but sending a thank you card to an 8 year old child for giving a present you have bought on their behalf for another child for their birthday etc is absolutely mad.

Cas112 · 26/05/2023 19:08

I wouldn't do it🤷🏽‍♀️

I would just say thank you to them or there parents should I see them in passing or my child would say thank you when they seen them

shakeitoffsis · 26/05/2023 19:07

I'd say not in this day and age but a clear thank you I'd be happy with.

Iwrotethissong · 26/05/2023 19:05

Not after a party no. A generic "Laura had a lovely time, thanks for all the cards and gifts" on the group chat is adequate.

CannotDoThisAnymore · 26/05/2023 18:58

A thank you at the time of being given the gift or alternatively a text thank you is all we do. Who has time to write out thank you cards?! 🤣

WhotheHellisEdgar · 26/05/2023 18:49

Saying thank you when given the present is fine by me. A thank you is a thank you.

dementedpixie · 26/05/2023 18:48

Did they say thanks at the time?
If so then I wouldn't expect another thank you card