Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On line guy closing off conversation for weekend.

56 replies

itsonlylove · 26/05/2023 12:23

He is separated. Sees his kids every weekend for the whole weekend and just told me that he goes off grid every weekend despite is chatting all week long .
He doesn't live near where he works so travels a considerable difference to see them each weekend.
I feel insulted despite knowing how busy he is at weekends etc
What would you advise me to say?
How do I respond to that?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
FelisCatus0 · 27/05/2023 07:49

itsonlylove · 26/05/2023 14:09

Hasn't replied . He has a four hour car journey ahead of him .
Ireland is a village . Everyone knows everyone else and if you need research done, word of mouth is a lot faster then Google around here .
The idiot gave me so much personal specific information that he could be easily outed . I couldn't make the call to the wife but if she contacted me, I wouldnt think twice about telling her everything .
I feel
So stupid.
A handsome, tall , fit forty something engineer ... more fool me .
Three teens. Very involved Dad . Think I'm the fool.

He 'works away' I am guessing?

unfortunateevents · 26/05/2023 19:17

A handsome, tall , fit forty something engineer .
From your other thread about this, you have only been in contact with this man this week, you haven't even seen a photo of him so you have no idea if any of what he told you is true. Who on earth describes themselves as handsome?!

Ireland may be a village (I am Irish) but you will come across as a weird stalker if you start hunting down his wife based on a couple of online conversations.

Jingleballsup · 26/05/2023 18:47

When you meet someone you think is great you get your act together so you don't lose them.

Liars and assholes always have complicated arrangements with their "ex" have a sad bollocks story about why the situation isn't sorted or can't be sorted and expect you to fit in or put up with this shit.

Move on.

shellyleppard · 26/05/2023 18:43

Definitely still married.....i would cut him off

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 26/05/2023 18:41

He talks to you on his work phone that gets turned off and shut in a drawer over the weekend when he is with his wife and kids playing happy families.

SecretSwirrel · 26/05/2023 18:35

I don’t think he’s been truthful with you

Peachy2005 · 26/05/2023 18:31

Well maybe the superpower will die out with that generation…I too am happy not knowing everyone and everyone’s business nor them mine. Think it’s a side-effect of growing up with one of those Irish mammies 😂

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/05/2023 18:31

So basically his kids don't know that they are separated and his wife doesn't know? Honest to God he can't even live properly! You won't get a reply that makes you happy now so you should just block him.

Weallgottachangesometime · 26/05/2023 18:29

Oh lord what a shit cover story. How on earth can someone live with themselves lying like that!!

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/05/2023 18:26

LadyEloise1 · 26/05/2023 17:31

@Neverinamonthofsundays It was I who said Ireland is a village. You can almost always find someone you know in common when chatting to someone here.

I think my issue is being anti social. I do not want to know anymore people than I already do. I suck at being Irish.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/05/2023 18:25

Peachy2005 · 26/05/2023 18:08

Ireland kind of is like a big village…like if I knew OP and she told me the name of the guy and where he’s from, there’d be a very good chance my mother (a proper irish mammy with fingers in all the pies) could figure out someone she knows who knows him or his wife or someone in their family. It’s scary really 🤣

Well now yes my mother would try her best to find someone she knows in common (always calls people by first and last name when talking about them and looks around in case Philomena Byrne from Cork might know Patricia Mulcahy from Wicklow ffs) but I am of the newer age and in Dublin and pride myself in knowing feckin nobody.

Muncha · 26/05/2023 18:18

Best to know now. He's a liar.

Americano75 · 26/05/2023 18:17

You're not an idiot, he's a prick.

gallina · 26/05/2023 18:16

@itsonlylove he's the idiot, not you!

Peachy2005 · 26/05/2023 18:08

Ireland kind of is like a big village…like if I knew OP and she told me the name of the guy and where he’s from, there’d be a very good chance my mother (a proper irish mammy with fingers in all the pies) could figure out someone she knows who knows him or his wife or someone in their family. It’s scary really 🤣

WoofWoofBeachLife · 26/05/2023 18:07

Ireland as in across the water and Belfast Ireland? It's certainly not a village 😂🤔

LadyEloise1 · 26/05/2023 17:31

@Neverinamonthofsundays It was I who said Ireland is a village. You can almost always find someone you know in common when chatting to someone here.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/05/2023 17:10

itsonlylove · 26/05/2023 14:09

Hasn't replied . He has a four hour car journey ahead of him .
Ireland is a village . Everyone knows everyone else and if you need research done, word of mouth is a lot faster then Google around here .
The idiot gave me so much personal specific information that he could be easily outed . I couldn't make the call to the wife but if she contacted me, I wouldnt think twice about telling her everything .
I feel
So stupid.
A handsome, tall , fit forty something engineer ... more fool me .
Three teens. Very involved Dad . Think I'm the fool.

If Ireland is 'only a village' then you seem to be its idiot. Ireland is NOT as tiny as you might think so this makes me assume you are not from here as we have about 5million people on this island.

You posted another thread with other details about this lad. YOu have not met him, have not seen a picture of him and yet you somehow think that if his wife somehow works out (out of all the men that live in the west and work in the south if that is true) will see this and message you then you are in la la land.

Original poster
itsonlylove · 26/05/2023 16:50

I see it now but we were only chatting g. It's when he shut it down for the weekend , I was like WTF?
I'm very angry, probably triggered and hurt.
He was very convincing.
Yes I see that I was an idiot .

OP posts:
Testina · 26/05/2023 16:46

Oh love, I can’t believe you fell for that!

tailinthejam · 26/05/2023 16:43

itsonlylove · 26/05/2023 12:46

I'm like a lunatic now !
Give me a good smart response to shut down please .
He is so nonchalant then
He said that he hoped I had a good weekend and that he was travelling soon ... so I asked if he was off grid for the weekend to which he replied' yes '!!!!!

"Say 'Hi' to your wife and kids from me!"

Honestly, you are completely wasting your time even thinking about this man.

Glitterb · 26/05/2023 14:26

run a mile, he absolutely still ‘happily’ married and even if he was separated then is this really a relationship that you want?

catsnhats11 · 26/05/2023 14:24

LadyEloise1 · 26/05/2023 14:19

Ireland is a village @itsonlylove.
Why not go over to the Craicnet section on Mumsnet. A poster there will probably have all the info on him you need.

Sorry you seem to have met a bad 'un

OP dropped a nice little description in tere, someone will probably recognise him from this thread 😉

piedbeauty · 26/05/2023 14:24

Beezknees · 26/05/2023 12:34

He's still married. Run.

Yep...

LadyEloise1 · 26/05/2023 14:19

Ireland is a village @itsonlylove.
Why not go over to the Craicnet section on Mumsnet. A poster there will probably have all the info on him you need.

Sorry you seem to have met a bad 'un

Swipe left for the next trending thread