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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be devastated

211 replies

Bagpuss2022 · 25/05/2023 16:46

I know it sounds melodramatic and I have actually cried over this.
my DH had a day off on Monday he sorted out our unit in the living room. He didn’t tell me he was doing this by the way or would of told him what not to chuck.
He's gone and thrown away a A3 folder of all the kids special bits from school you know the kind the nursery ones with the handprints and that poem. There first mothers days cards y6 leaving certificates with photos on etc. I am ruthless and only ever keep the very special bits
we have 3 Dc oldest 22 youngest 13 so it’s not like I’m going to get anything like that again.
He said he thought it was just junk I know
he's not as sentimental as me but come on he could of least checked with me.
He thinks I’m being silly and is now in a mood with me

OP posts:
rumpsteak · 25/05/2023 21:36

I'm woith your DH. I needed to have a clearout last year and I went through a wardrobe that was full of this kind of stuff for my four. I filicked through some of it and realised it was all junk that meant nothing to me or the kids so I binned it. It felt right to save it at the time but it held no value when I ditched it.

Summerfun54321 · 25/05/2023 21:33

That is the one thing I would rescue in a house fire. Fair enough he isn't sentimental but it doesn't take much to empathise. I think the worst aspect is you are grieving for those items and memories and he doesn't give 2 shits.

oakleaffy · 25/05/2023 21:20

@Bagpuss2022 What an oaf!
Chuck your husband's paper bags away that he saves from his football club and see how he feels.
I treasure the early school stuff so completely get where you are coming from.

     There was a boy in DS's reception class who used to take home other kid's paintings- He took a horse painted by DS- I asked for it back- and the person who collected  him said she threw it away as it was ''Just scrawl''...

What a philistine!..It absolutely wasn't 'Scrawl'-Maddeningly the kids had the same name, so I asked the teacher to put the surnames on in future.
It still upsets me as it was a lovely horse.

ScoobyBooby · 25/05/2023 21:05

Sorry this would devastate me too . I feel for you OP and I hope that your DH realises how important these keepsakes are !
xx

mcmooberry · 25/05/2023 21:00

Oh God I would be devastated too and would definitely have cried over it.

randomusername2020 · 25/05/2023 20:53

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Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:46

sheldonia · 25/05/2023 18:48

I don't really get this. Memories are what you have in yourself, they aren't bits of paper and cheesy poems with smudgy handprints. No memories are erased by getting rid of the paper.

Still, if OP wanted it he should not have chucked it out. Although if she knew he was clearing out the press, she should have moved it or mentioned it at least.

Show quote history

Since you've got yourselves so confused and are being nasty bullies, my first perfectly polite,balanced and pleasant post.

Yiz can apologise any time.

randomusername2020 · 25/05/2023 20:45

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sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:44

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Only after someone else was nasty and aggressive to me. Go give them a kicking for starting it.

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 25/05/2023 20:44

Thanks for all the lovely replies sorry too many to reply.
Have just had to spend two hours sat with him and trying to act normal at one of DDs activities. He is being all contrite now but i can’t forgive His initial reaction I’m sure I will in time.
to those who don’t understand how much it meant to me that’s fine if your not sentimental but to me it was important.
some of those things are over 20 years old before mobile phone cameras.
DS1 has a life limiting condition and although he’s thriving now we don’t know what the future holds.
thanks for the idea to contact the recycling centre will do that in the morning first thing but our recycling bins go into a big bin like the general refuse
And for the bags they might just go missing for a long while I’m not vindictive enough to get rid

OP posts:
randomusername2020 · 25/05/2023 20:41

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sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:39

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If I'm going to pass off facts as facts I must expect to be challenged? Is that how AIBU works?

It is fact that memories are what you keep in your brains (such as they are). Do you need a dictionary to look up the word memory?

sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:37

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mincedtart · 25/05/2023 20:36

EarringsandLipstick · 25/05/2023 20:34

@sheldonia

Not going to keep up a pointless exchange that's derailing OP's thread.

However, here's a selection of your comments to me & other posters, they are rude and belligerent.

some crazed loon went apeshit at me for my polite opinion!

literally are what you habe in your mind, you fool.

Get over yourself! How fucking rude are you?

So yes, you are cracked?

Could you maybe stop imagining things in posts to get mad about? Its fucking weird.

I mean ...🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t worry @EarringsandLipstick we are all quietly observing that poster’s awful conduct

randomusername2020 · 25/05/2023 20:35

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

EarringsandLipstick · 25/05/2023 20:34

@sheldonia

Not going to keep up a pointless exchange that's derailing OP's thread.

However, here's a selection of your comments to me & other posters, they are rude and belligerent.

some crazed loon went apeshit at me for my polite opinion!

literally are what you habe in your mind, you fool.

Get over yourself! How fucking rude are you?

So yes, you are cracked?

Could you maybe stop imagining things in posts to get mad about? Its fucking weird.

I mean ...🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

AlltheFs · 25/05/2023 20:33

@Bagpuss2022 I’d be devastated too. I’d find the most precious thing of his and throw it out. What a bastard.
My DH is still upset at 50 that his mother threw his teddies away one day. She’s an absolute bitchcunt though, we all hate her.

We have a stack of things from DD and I know some of it can’t be kept but I’d hate to have nothing at all.

DorritLittle · 25/05/2023 20:33

Oh my goodness. I would be really upset too.

piedbeauty · 25/05/2023 20:32

Treesoutsidemywindow · 25/05/2023 17:39

I'm afraid his stupid football bags would have gone straight in the fire if he'd done that with my precious memories! What a hypocrite, he saves old bags, but doesn't see why you're upset at him throwing away years worth of memories from your children's growing up years. Grrr! This sort of thing makes my blood boil. What would it have cost him to put the things where you would both see them, and then when you noticed them, you would have asked why they were out, and he could have checked whether you wanted to keep them. Selfish sod!

Totally this. Stupid selfish uncaring arse.

Football bags indeed.

sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:31

AlltheFs · 25/05/2023 20:30

Your poor children! My daughter is so
proud of her creations. Did yours end up
in therapy?

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Is that a joke?

randomusername2020 · 25/05/2023 20:30

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3luckystars · 25/05/2023 20:30

I’d be upset too and even more upset if he didn’t get what he did was so wrong.

AlltheFs · 25/05/2023 20:30

Magazinenotliving · 25/05/2023 16:53

I hated all that stuff, the forced ‘activity’ items kids brought home. It meant nothing to me and I threw them out the same day they came home. I did keep the stuff my kids freely close themselves to make for me. The point is, we all find different things sentimental and I think we all have the capacity to realise something is important to others, based on how ( different) things are important to us.

Your H has been an utter dick to throw it away, and even more so not to be mortified when he realised what he did. I think I would be more disturbed at him for the latter than the former.

Your poor children! My daughter is so
proud of her creations. Did yours end up
in therapy?

sheldonia · 25/05/2023 20:29

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 25/05/2023 20:28

Ugh, the fact that he’s refusing to apologise and is now in a mood with you, makes him a prick.

He keeps old carrier bags from his football team shop I think they are junk and stupid keeping but would never get rid as they obviously important to him.

^ I’d want to go and throw that load of old shit out to make myself feel better.