Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wages upfront?

34 replies

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:11

I work on the weekends for a local businessman. DH and I need to make a purchase (£800) but don't want to use a credit card.

I have asked my boss if I could have my wages upfront and work off weekly. Would take 16 weeks to clear. He told me in the past that he would be willing to do this and has done in the past, so I sent a message asking him this morning.

He read it 5 minutes after sending but hasn't responded.

I am now dying with absolute embarrassment and cringing at what I sent (was a very nice message!) but I'm going absolutely mad thinking things over with the fact he hasn't responded.

FWIW I have been working with him for over a year and am more than reliable!

Does he think I'm the biggest CFer in the world?

We get on wonderfully and I would hate to think I have soured the relationship with being so utterly presumptuous.

Eurgh. Actually feel sick 🤢

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 20:14

@cestlavielife

Good God no!!

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 20:00

Very lucky, don't let him down !

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 19:59

Just had a message.....

All good and he is happy with the £800 and to pay off working 😊

I apologised if I came across as a CF and he told me to not be so stupid.

Phew!!

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 25/05/2023 18:08

Get a zero percent credit card instead?

FergalforPM · 25/05/2023 17:42

"Was just under £1000k."
Wow, that's a lot.

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:40

@Hairpinleg

I haven't asked for 16 weeks. I've just asked him if the offer is still there.

My AIBU is was I being a CFer for even asking if it was because he hasn't replied despite reading it and I'm paranoid that I have really p*ed him off for asking.

OP posts:
Hairpinleg · 25/05/2023 17:25

Asking for 16 weeks wages in advance seems enormously cheeky to me. You could leave at any time and not pay it back. I'm sure his previous offer was to advance you a week or something if really stuck. I would send a follow up text saying you got it sorted and apologise for bothering him.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 25/05/2023 17:25

I'm really torn here.

One the one hand, he did offer but I really do think this kind of thing is what a credit card is for.

KnickerlessParsons · 25/05/2023 17:18

Wouldn't it be better to
Work the 16 weeks, get paid, save the money and then buy the item you want?

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:17

Just re checked my message and I haven't even said in the message how much for, just whether it was an option after his offer last year.

I actually hate myself at the moment!!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 17:12

He might well yet respond saying he’s happy to lend it, but I’d imagine he’ll want a written contract for the loan. It’s not likely to be something he just straight agrees to giving you with a quick text.

cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 17:12

What is it for this time ? You dont need to say but if it is not in same vein as only car you have then ??

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 17:08

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:04

@ComtesseDeSpair

Yes no contract but I've been there for a year. Our kids are in the same class together. He knows me and he knows he would get it back.

But as I previously mentioned my AIBU is not how much or for how long - it's the asking in the first place.

In his position I’d find the request inappropriate, yes. If I’d previously offered my cleaner an advance on her pay if she was ever desperate, I’d mean the £40 I pay her per clean. I’d be taken aback if she asked me to lend her £800 repayable over months.

The kids in same class etc just adds to it. If you do decide not to go to work again or repay him he’s then stuck with an awkward situation and bad feeling there as well, not just within his business.

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:08

@cestlavielife

No, DH's car died and he offered to pay the bill and I work it back. We said we couldn't do that and he said well the offer is there whether now or in the future. He said he's a businessman and likes to help local people out. Was just under £1000k.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 17:04

@ComtesseDeSpair

Yes no contract but I've been there for a year. Our kids are in the same class together. He knows me and he knows he would get it back.

But as I previously mentioned my AIBU is not how much or for how long - it's the asking in the first place.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 16:57

Maybe he meant he would loan 50
.... not 800...

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/05/2023 16:56

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:50

Should probably say it's not my main job. It's just helping out during busy period on Saturday. Cash in hand.

But the AIBU was am I a CF for just asking the question. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking him if he hadn't mentioned in the past that it was an option.

I think this changes things. You’re a casual employee with presumably no contract and it’s all a bit under the table. What’s to stop you pocketing your £800 and then not showing up to work for him ever again? When he previously said he’d advance wages as a kind gesture, he probably meant a week or maybe two, not months.

Wishitsnows · 25/05/2023 16:51

Would your DH not ask his place of work?

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:50

Should probably say it's not my main job. It's just helping out during busy period on Saturday. Cash in hand.

But the AIBU was am I a CF for just asking the question. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking him if he hadn't mentioned in the past that it was an option.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 25/05/2023 16:44

Is 50 a week your total wage? Or is it %?
If it is total wage for a few hours he might worry you get sick / dont turn up etc.
If it is say one half or less then different as you have to turn up...
Why not just save up for 16 weeks and buy it outright?
Why not a credit card if urgent?

Lemonfanta4 · 25/05/2023 16:43

Why don’t you want to use a credit card?

Sprinkles211 · 25/05/2023 16:38

That's 1/3 of a year up front that's really crazy no way I'd do that for an employee I would be concerned they one, wouldn't stick around long enough to pay it back and two, they won't be able to afford to pay bills/food etc in the long run so the responsible employer would say no

theemmadilemma · 25/05/2023 16:36

BarbaraofSeville · 25/05/2023 16:19

I don't think you should be asking your boss to help you manage your cashflow like this.

Use your credit card. This is what they're for. You get a few week's free credit anyway and if you can't afford to pay for the thing before they start charging interest, you could make the purchase, apply for a free balance transfer card and transfer the money to the free card, to pay it off interest free.

Then you sort it all out yourself without asking your boss favours, when it might make him feel uncomfortable and obliged to help you when it's not his responsibility.

It's a fairly standard benefit, employer loans:

https://makesworth.co.uk/take-advantage-of-interest-free-loans/

Take advantage of interest-free loans

Did you know that as an employer you can loan your employees a tax-free cheap or interest-free loan of up to £10,000 per year? If your employees.

https://makesworth.co.uk/take-advantage-of-interest-free-loans

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 25/05/2023 16:34

It's a cafe - but one of many businesses he owns.

OP posts:
Laffinalltheway · 25/05/2023 16:33

You've been with him over a year, what like 53 weeks, or 103 weeks? I'm asking because if it's closer to 53 weeks, I think it's a bit much, you asking him for 16 weeks of wages in advance...