To be upset by this

Totally agree, take charge and tell them that the holiday is for the 4 of you only.

do not give up your precious family holiday

Join for one glass of wine at bedtime??!!. The answer is no. Just no. Issued by DH to his D parents.

From what OP says this is more than they want. There’s such a thing as completely stopping. Any effort interrupts this and can affect the proper relaxation. I’m absolutely with OP no arrangement outside immediate family.

But late to rhe party but if I were you, I'd make a 'plan'* for every day of the time you're there. Something really energetic, like a 6 hour walk up and down hills, or surfing, or climbing. Every day!

You're far too busy exploring and making memories to sit and play host but they're welcome to join you for one glass of wine at bedtime (of course you'll all be going to bed early as you have another action packed day planned the next day).

In reality, you could be lounging around in your jamas, playing board games, or eating an oce cream at the fair, but the ILs won't know that 😉

*full disclosure - the plan is pretend!

The real solution is for your DH to ring them up and tell them that on reflection he has decided that it would be best to stick to their original plan of visitingbuou at home later in the year. He tells them that you all need a complete break with just the 4 of you. That it is nothing to do with not wanting to see them and he would assume they would understand that

Any other outcome will result in a repeat performance at some point

DH needs to change the dynamic with his parents!!!!

OP's update says that it is almost 3 hours each way - I can guarantee that ILs are not going to drive for 6 hours (possibly longer if traffic bad) and just stay for the day

I would absolutely stay at home. That way, DH has to explain to the DC and his parents why you're not there.

Let him feel the consequences of his action. He's ruined this holiday, not you.

I like your way of thinking 👍

Please don't stay home and allow your DH to take your DC while the in laws are there. If they were rude to them last time you saw them, they will be again and you won't be there to help your children process that. Go on holiday, make plans to go out and leave your DH to entertain them. I know its not the holiday of 4 that you planned but at least you and your DC will have a lovely time. 😊.

I’d feel the same but I think you are being very unreasonable to be considering cancelling the holiday and booking somewhere else. How bad will it be? Seeing your in laws for a couple of days, is it really the end of the world? Why can’t you still kick back and relax with them there? I’d say stop overthinking it and just go with the flow. If it was me getting the opportunity to see my parents and my husband actively tried to stop it happening I would be really upset

Tell them you've planned all your days out/activities. Don't tidy up or "host", leave that to your DH. Don't sit around making adult talk. Spend the time exactly as you would if they weren't there.

I feel your pain.

I think OP wants to spend time with her kids and DH, and the kids aren't happy to be looked after by the GP, but the GP have never looked after them or taken much of an interest in them either.

'Thanks for coming, DH and I could really do with a little escape for some couples time, kids be good for Grandma and grandad' and you leave them with the kids and you and DH book in somewhere for 2 nights for adult time....

I’d give him until the end of today to tell them they can’t come, then do it yourself if he doesn’t.
They clearly don’t care about your feelings, so why should you care about theirs?

This. This this this. treat his error of judgement as an opportunity - I did when my DH did the same. However, my planning was set and I ended up in a Tescos coffee shop for a couple of hours writing postcards.

Well,hope your husband enjoys his holiday with kids and parents, do book something nice for yourself and go on your own!

You're not BU.
After a really tough run for us, I booked a holiday in the same country for me and my DH and we invited two friends. I actually regret inviting them because it changed the whole dynamic. I wanted a few days for us to relax and get away from it all - esp as we lived with my ILs at the time. Them coming changed it and they wanted a strict itinerary for each day and it became us having to entertain them.
Sometimes you just want to relax, and don't want to have to run around after other people.

And you can’t generally allow more people to stay in your accommodation, even if you have a spare bedroom. If they are planning to stay over tell them the accommodation won’t allow it.

Please don’t cancel your holiday. It sounds like you really need it. I would let them visit for the day but let DH entertain them and you take the opportunity to go out for part / all of the day - go for a walk, go for lunch, go for a massage. Don’t let them stay over - I agree that changes the dynamic of your holiday. DH made the arrangement, he can deal with them!

Just get to the holiday place and then phone and tell them you’ve all come down with COVID.

This. And given your dh made this mess leave him to clear it up.

your in laws are presumptuous and out of touch with reality of being at work

your dh made a twatty decision given he may feel guilty about not seeing his parents but that does not mean he can mess up your holiday!!

YANBU! I love both of my ILs dearly and live with them - BUT - even I don't go on while family holidays with them and my BILs. The dynamic is something I don't enjoy and frankly, I find it a bit oppressive.

He has just gone for the easy life and decided to upset me rather than his mum.

As said on MN, you have a husband problem.

As a mum too, exhausted with work, parental care, kids, etc. I'd be telling him to take the kids on his own..... Though I know that's not feasible with such young kids.

So you're there, let them come and ask him to do the domestics. Time he learnt.
I'd be off to the local pub for a coffee and a book

Stick firmly to them just having a day trip and be positive about that. You specify the exact day (or give them a choice of two dates.)
Plan the time so that you are outside, active, rambling etc. and also having nice pub meals, which they are likely to spend walking with you a bit, their son and their grandchildren and you are not cooking for them.

You can't not invite them now - unless you all comedown with Covid on the holiday. So,you might as well cheerup and take control and choose not to be upset.

The "unless you don't want to see us" line is manipulative.

That doesn't mean DH has to fold in with their wishes.

'Hi Mum, you know we love seeing you. But this is a holiday we planned for just the four of us and we're not having visitors this time. We can't wait to see you in September.'