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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be concerned ?

85 replies

ManorHall7 · 21/05/2023 08:14

We have neighbours that are regularly leaving their 8 and 5 year old alone. This week 3 times however 1 time only for about 5 minutes it appears whilst one was coming home from work and one going to work in evening.

Would you be concerned ? And do anything ?

OP posts:
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CadburyDream · 24/05/2023 10:51

I was reported to ss for leaving my dd (9 at the time) alone for 20 mins one time and I was reported and ss did contact me to speak about it so it’s not true that they won’t care I didn’t leave her with a younger child either just on her own.

redbullhabit · 24/05/2023 10:44

I absolutely think this is wrong. What if one of them started choking? Or what if the parents got into an accident and couldn't return?

I appreciate a lot of 'what ifs' but it could happen and I wouldn't risk it.

Original poster
ManorHall7 · 24/05/2023 10:28

Daisybuttercup12345 · 24/05/2023 03:08

Instead of reporting them go and help with their childcare.
Be proactive instead of an interfering busybody.

Read the whole thread

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Beezknees · 24/05/2023 06:01

I'd report. As a lone parent I know exactly what it's like to be skint and working to put food on the table, but I never left DS alone at that age.

Bramblestar · 24/05/2023 03:25

As a frontline worker in social care, please do report this to NSPCC or your local Social Care. In addition to this if you see this again and have seen them being hone alone you need to ring police straightway.This is not appropriate, even for very short periods. There is allsorts that could happen that could delay them being home.

If you are aware that the children are home alone, you need ring police immediately at that time. police will treat this as emergency situation and will attend to need to evidence the concerns and address immediate safety planning.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 24/05/2023 03:08

Instead of reporting them go and help with their childcare.
Be proactive instead of an interfering busybody.

Multiplemum123 · 24/05/2023 02:35

it sounds like your neighbour is keeping an eye on the situation. If it’s only for 20 mins here & there I don’t see an issue if they are in a tough position childcare wise.
If the times left unsupervised start getting longer & more frequent then I would anonymously report this as it may get out of hand. If social work check it out and find no problem then no harm done but it could be a subtle sign of other issues such as neglect. Children need adults to speak up for them so don’t be afraid to take action.

Hairday · 23/05/2023 14:01

It is concerning, for sure. To be honest, im not sure what i would do in your shoes. It would depend on everything else. Maybe nothing.

Original poster
ManorHall7 · 23/05/2023 02:35

oddlycurious · 23/05/2023 01:15

Why are they not 'approachable' OP? Or you could put a note in their door as anonymous just to say you are concerned and happy to keep a look out if need be whenever an emergency arises and they need to leave the kids alone. Just so they have some sort of heads up and then have a chance to sort it before bloody social services or police are involved :)

They have been abusive to others on the street. If they haven't done anything wrong as many posters have stated they won't need a heads up ? I haven't asked about how to report them just if its concerning

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Original poster
ManorHall7 · 23/05/2023 02:34

Thebigblueballoon · 23/05/2023 01:09

I’m not sure why you bothered to post this thread. You’re clearly not interested in any view that doesn’t validate your desire to get your neighbours into trouble.

If they aren't doing anything wrong why would they get into trouble ? I haven't asked about reporting them

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Original poster
ManorHall7 · 23/05/2023 02:33

Hairday · 23/05/2023 01:22

I can't understand why you have time to watch them so closely but no time to offer to babysit. Either mind your own business or make them your business. Contacting the authorities should be the last resort.

Read the thread I haven't been watching them only 3 times I have noticed.

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Hairday · 23/05/2023 01:22

I can't understand why you have time to watch them so closely but no time to offer to babysit. Either mind your own business or make them your business. Contacting the authorities should be the last resort.

oddlycurious · 23/05/2023 01:15

Why are they not 'approachable' OP? Or you could put a note in their door as anonymous just to say you are concerned and happy to keep a look out if need be whenever an emergency arises and they need to leave the kids alone. Just so they have some sort of heads up and then have a chance to sort it before bloody social services or police are involved :)

Thebigblueballoon · 23/05/2023 01:09

I’m not sure why you bothered to post this thread. You’re clearly not interested in any view that doesn’t validate your desire to get your neighbours into trouble.

Original poster
ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 16:56

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 22/05/2023 16:06

OP you clearly don't think you're being unreasonable so I don't know why you're asking? Were you just wanting people to pile on and say how wonderful you are and you should call social services asap. You also clearly don't like them from the way you talk about them and know doubt will find plenty of other things about them/their parenting style to report them about in the coming years.

For a few minutes I think it's fine and as long as they're not leaving them with candles burning/gas hob on, the hysterical 'what about a fire' brigade are frankly ridiculous.

And as far as being on calls whilst driving, there is this wonderful invention called handsfree, which would allow them to chat to the kids until the other parent gets back.

I again didn't ask for any social services involvement. And if you read the thread it's not just a few minutes. Why is it acceptable for hands free,it does nothing and it's not just fires it's any number of things.

I guess that's why sometimes social services do become involved -luckily

The neighbour phoned the NSPCC for advice

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Original poster
ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 16:54

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 16:50

"Get out the front/back door" is hardly having to work anything out. And it's only as much as panicking in person...

People Facetime and talk whilst driving all the time...

Show quote history

Really ? Never see it when I driving luckily.

Your undermining the situation. It could be serious that's why I posted it's not just 5 minutes here and there.

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AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 16:50

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:46

I am pleased you could stay calm and direct your childreb who would probably be panicking out of the house ? What if there is some other accident ? How can they be driving as suggested by other posters and on ipads and video calls ?

Show quote history

"Get out the front/back door" is hardly having to work anything out. And it's only as much as panicking in person...

People Facetime and talk whilst driving all the time...

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 22/05/2023 16:06

OP you clearly don't think you're being unreasonable so I don't know why you're asking? Were you just wanting people to pile on and say how wonderful you are and you should call social services asap. You also clearly don't like them from the way you talk about them and know doubt will find plenty of other things about them/their parenting style to report them about in the coming years.

For a few minutes I think it's fine and as long as they're not leaving them with candles burning/gas hob on, the hysterical 'what about a fire' brigade are frankly ridiculous.

And as far as being on calls whilst driving, there is this wonderful invention called handsfree, which would allow them to chat to the kids until the other parent gets back.

Original poster
ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:46

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 13:27

Ah of course
The many, many fires that start all the time

It's up to 15 minutes. If on FT and a fire started, child directed to leave the house and wait outside until parent returns. In those 15 minutes either parent who just left can return or parent returning will be back because its such a short time. Parent can also call 999.

Not much difference to being asleep when a fire starts and not noticing straight away

Show quote history

I am pleased you could stay calm and direct your childreb who would probably be panicking out of the house ? What if there is some other accident ? How can they be driving as suggested by other posters and on ipads and video calls ?

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Original poster
ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 15:45

Thatladdo · 22/05/2023 11:40

This would certainly be the neighbourly, decent thing to do but not as exiting as reporting to SS and then being able to further twitch your curtains everythime a car pulls up!

Show quote history

Again i hace suggested social services just advice. It's not 5 minutes that was once

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tolerable · 22/05/2023 13:56

(always chance i could be wrong)
seem to think-there is not actual law on age children can be left alone. You get to do your own risk assesment/age appropriation\trust thing
The issue(turns to neglect?/unlawful)IF something awful happens....

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/05/2023 13:27

ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 11:08

But they are alone ? Facetimes and ipads are no good if a fire starts no? I 🤔 it's too young sorry

Show quote history

Ah of course
The many, many fires that start all the time

It's up to 15 minutes. If on FT and a fire started, child directed to leave the house and wait outside until parent returns. In those 15 minutes either parent who just left can return or parent returning will be back because its such a short time. Parent can also call 999.

Not much difference to being asleep when a fire starts and not noticing straight away

Thatladdo · 22/05/2023 11:40

Pottedpalm · 21/05/2023 08:29

Well I imagine they have phones and are checking in with each other so they know the other is close to home.
Maybe you could offer to be a first port of call for help in the unlikely event os something happening in those few minutes.

This would certainly be the neighbourly, decent thing to do but not as exiting as reporting to SS and then being able to further twitch your curtains everythime a car pulls up!

Nordicrain · 22/05/2023 11:09

For 5 mins at a time? I don't see an issue.

Original poster
ManorHall7 · 22/05/2023 11:08

Gymmum82 · 21/05/2023 21:20

15 minutes is fine. Hours less so. I leave my 9 and 6 year olds alone for short periods up to 10-15 minutes for similar reasons. They have a phone. They know how to call me. I know what they are doing and I trust them to be fine. Usually just sat watching their iPads.
She might be on FaceTime to them the whole time she’s gone until her husband is home. You don’t know that

But they are alone ? Facetimes and ipads are no good if a fire starts no? I 🤔 it's too young sorry

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