Was I racist?

You're not being racist to want to have the windows open when someone is cooking. That's just common sense.

It's so much easier when you limit how close you get to other cultures and ideologies etc, especially in this day and age where people are just looking to make accusations.

I wonder what your landlord will say. I hope it's something like "well I hope you're airing out the building when something strong smelling has been cooking".

She's being over sensitive.

I cook my culture's foods with very strong spices which have very strong smells. I always need to move the coat hanger into a different room otherwise, everything will be covered in overwhelming smells. Your housemate is being oversensitive. Not sure what you can do for someone who will be offended anyway.

I don't believe you were being racist.

However, I have heard the smell of South Asian cooking being used by actual racists in the past as one of the reasons they don't want to live alongside S. Asian people. So she may be quite sensitive about this because of the way it has been weaponised historically.

Ergo these actions do not make you a racist

So many of my Indian friends complain that when they visit their parents they have to keep their coats upstairs. Many homes have regular kitchens and a small "spice" kitchen (curry making)

I cannot understand how this is racist and I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel like this.
Everyone has a right to open a window.

Don't apologise. Tell her that her cooking is excellent and it's nothing personal but the smells were getting into your belongings and all she needs to do is open the window and put the fan on. She might have felt embarrassed, especially because you opened the window yourself instead of asking her to (which would have been more tactful) but she has gone too far in escalating this to your LL so you don't owe her an apology.

She definitely took it the wrong way, though it can happen. I also believe it's common knowledge that some spices and food can get into things so she shouldn't be surprised that the house needs airing out. I'd go as far as saying she should've actually agreed with you.

However it depends on the relationship you have with her and her perception of where you were coming from.

You weren't racist at all because it isn't only Indian food that can do this but because she's perceived you as coming from that angle, I'd try to explain this to her in the way you've done here. It's then up to her to understand or not and you both can laugh it off and move on.

No racist at all.
Your HM is over sensitive.
She's weaponising this against you. Tell her you are sorry that you have offended her you didn't mean to and then stop pandering to her ice cold treatment.

It isn't racist to open a window. Nor does it mean that you don't appreciate the food of her culture. I often have a window open to help clear or minimise cooking aroma and I don't cook that much spicy food. I am not of Indian heritage, if that matters to anyone.

I think she is being a bit hypersensitive here. I wonder if with hindsight it would have been better to just say you were opening the window to let in some fresh air? Though I am sure that some of the professionally offended could find fault with that too.

You didn't insult her cooking and don't need to keep up this stuff about educating yourself and apologising.

She lives in a shared house. There's nothing wrong with her food but if it smells strongly of anything, be that fried fish, onion, spices, bacon, bbq, then she needs to mitigate that so other household members' clothes and the furnishings do not smell of it. Opening a window when cooking would be a basic courtesy.

Think this through. What here could be racist about not wanting other people's cooking smells to permeate when this can be prevented?

Absolutely not.

My DF makes fish and liver/onions. If I go in I ask to open window as I can't stand the smell.

If I make a fry up at home I open the windows in fact I do if I make Sunday lunch, curry, bolegnese anything. I don't like my house to smell of any food regardless what it is.

@Redebs thinking back the smell was unmistakably oily. That must have been it. Never thought about the oil but you are so right.

To give her the benefit of the doubt, she’s probably just a bit shocked / embarrassed. She’ll likely cool off.

You know you aren’t being unreasonable. So be firm. Do not apologise. There need to be some ground rules about opening the window and turning on the blower when she’s cooking and leaving it airing after.

To be fair it sounds like she'd have accused the OP of being racist anyway if she'd have spoken to her

It's actually the oil that creates the smell. Spicy foods cooked in oil - especially deep fried - do leave traces on furnishings and clothes. It is the same with bacon. People often reuse oil over and over again and keep a deep frying pan that doesn't get washed, only wiped.

The thing is, food and smells are very evocative for many people. Strongly smelling foods mean familiarity, home, culture, family and by objecting to the smell, people think you are being hostile to those very personal aspects too.

I love spices in food and cherish many of my lovely Indian/Pakistani mother-in-law's recipes, but if I come across the smell of fried food that has gone stale on someone's coat when I'm out, I feel nauseated. Whether it's bacon, chips, samosas or anything else, it's nasty.

My husband makes the best pakoras in the world, but will only cook them rarely, with the back door and windows wide open, no matter the weather.

Especially if someone is sharing a house, if they want to deep fry, they need to ventilate the kitchen, use an extractor and keep doors to the rest of the house closed.

It's not racist.

I would probably have spoken to her first, rather than just opening the windows which I can see coming across as a bit passive aggressive. But no way is it racist. I used to work in a college that had an amazing community cafe in it. A few days a week parents made amazing curries, but I lost count of the number of staff and student complaints about the smell and their clothes smelling. They were all from the same background. They were furious about the lack of ventilation. Strong smelling foods need a window open/a good extractor fan. That’s not racist.

Not at all racist. Some food smells linger - fish for instance. You wouldn't want your clothes to smell of fish, nor of bacon, or curry.

She's being over sensitive. Hopefully she'll realise.

Well..I'm of Indian descent, I leave my suit jacket/other clothes in the car when I visit relatives, I know the smell will permeate and I don't like it
It's not racist, your flatmate should be more mindful of her cooking and effects
I found a window/door to garden helps and I also burn a candle near the cooker which helps eliminate the odours
I get the same thing if I eat in a café where the cooking is in an enclosed area. I hope you can work it out 🙏

Ethnic minority woman here. No it was not racist

She's being ridiculous and obviously has no sense of smell. I often cook carribean food and have all the windows open in the kitchen and door closed.
I had neighbours that lived on deep fat fried food and you could smell it through the walls in my old home.

Should always have windows open when cooking. No you're not being racist, we cook a lot of spicy food and know the smell is strong so just open the windows, like we do when cooking fish, well anything really, so the smell isn't overpowering. Does anyone really cook without windows open? X

No, you were not racist. You just don't want cooking smells lingering. We sometimes come in our home and can smell last night's dinner and straight away it's a candle on, window open. Not spices but just food smells.

I would not beat myself up about it. Certainly don't prostrate yourself begging her forgiveness. Sharing a space is about compromise, she wants it all her own way. I wouldn't want to be around her, too much like hard work.

Shame on her calling that racism. It cheapens the words and the deeds of real racism.