Child never picked..

Having read all your posts, I suspect the teacher was concerned about your daughter because you had given the impression that she (and you) were on the verge of throwing yourselves off a tall building unless she got a part

very very strange!

Just a heads up

the op started another thread on this same issue in chat.

and has now posted 50X.

I would hazard a guess that things might not be quite as they seem chez @Idontknowwhy1

Nothing wrong with teacher telling your DC that. You seem to be overthinking this.

It's a positive outcome. You wanted your child to be included and she is.

That's a good thing. Assertiveness worked. Teacher is being open and honest. Child is good.

You seem to be focused on protecting your child from negative emotions rather than teaching her how to deal with them, process it and move on in a healthy, happy way. Assert herself, ask for what she needs OR (and this is big) move past it if she decides she doesn't want to ask.

It's OK to be passive, it's OK to be assertive. You just have to learn to deal with the consequences of the approach you take. You want your DD to think everyone was passive but get the assertive prize. That's not healthy.

Because the child was so upset that you emailed twice and she wanted to check if the child was OK? It's probably not anything sinister or intended to get at you.

You're making all of this extremely personal. It appears that you feel got at in some way.

@Confusion101 that's how it is with all the schools around here.

Oh my, really?? Fair play to the school got organising it that way. Personally seems a bit excessive to me. Is it not enough to be celebrating the sacrament of communion? Why is it only special if you have a role to play? 🙈

But why not? I'm my children's school's every single child gets a role in the mass. With three classes that could be approx 70 children making their communion. There are all sorts of things they can do.

Do you have school age children?

Reread your email. We are taking about a parent dropping a teacher a line about a event re her 9 year old

and you approach it like a solicitor in a messy divorce case writing to the ex’s solicitor!

if you can’t work it out for yourself, I would hazard a guess that you often miss the mark and / or have no experience of school aged children and engaging with teachers

Being an amenable and therefore overlooked child is soul destroying. Having meek parents too afraid to stand up for you sets them up to repeat the cycle.

I would frame this differently. Being assertive is a skill, and a very teachable one. Stoicism is as well. We aren't parenting children solely, we are also raising effective, happy adults.

Teaching our children not to fret all night for asking for something they want should be the focus, not whether you get to sing. And being OK if you don't.

And I asked you what was laughable and you didn't respond. Imagining your comment was in good faith, I would like to know, so that I don't make a similar 'laughable' error in my day to day life.

I can tell you for sure that every school my children have been to… the head hasn’t been spineless and dismissive

I am wondering if your dc is active in the church? Or if you are as a family?
If you are I would remind them that they will get opportunities to do tasks at church.
If you aren't it might be one reason why they haven't got a role in this service.

How is believing in about man in the sky still deemed a religion and not a cult

@LittleWaves haha yes hit them with the religious guilt!!

I like your mum's style.

It's the same at our primary, always the same girl for all interesting and fun opportunities. Yes, we know that she is confident, yes we know she is bright, yes we know she's sporty, yes we know she's super artistic but what about the girls who also would like a chance to shine and develop their confidence?

So far, I've bitten my tongue. I keep telling dd that she will get a chance eventually, and to keep trying her PB. I have also explained that this girl will find it harder in secondary when she is no longer the one and only super star as there will be more competition. Kids that peak in primary don't always follow that star student trajectory.

OP, in your case, I would contact the school and say that your dd feels particularly inspired and very serious about her holy communion and that she wants the opportunity to serve her church to demonstrate her commitment to being a good Christian. They will not be able to turn her down then.

Because in my experience most schools are the same. It certainly was at my school. My sister went to a different school- same there.
Their current secondary is good but even there the play leads are pretty much the same 5 kids until they leave and replaced by the next faves

The thing is, it doesn't help these children. One such one at my secondary was always the lead. She thought she was the best ever singer, actress and dancer.

Until she started going for West End auditions and got precisely nowhere. You may be favourite at secondary but it doesn't tally outside of cheques being given and deals being done. How many of you had a school star who you see on TV now?

I don't know whether the teacher owes you any explanation. You're not her line manager. Also, your obsession with prominent families and the PTA members is getting weird at this stage - this all is starting to feel like it's partly motivated by your feelings about yourself. You know that you can join the PTA if you want to?

You have gone from being scared to speak up, up all night awake and anxious to now arguing with the teacher and demanding answers? thats a bit of a turnaround in a very small timeframe

You have misunderstood what I find is verging on odd

Must be a popular school if all of the children in that year group are making first communion - school must be oversubscribed so is likely to be a good school so be pleased at that
At DS's old school (very undersubscribed as not a good school) less than half of the year group go to church and hence will be making first communion so all have several jobs

This is verging on odd Now