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Original poster

To have just exploded today

162 replies

Cantstandbullies · 16/05/2023 23:39

I’ve name changed because it’s outing but tbh I have nothing to be ashamed over.

I’ve posted in the past about this bully in my sons class (y6) about him saying sexual things to my son & to other kids, the school had to ring social services over him.

I have always tried to remain dignified at the school even though I really wanted to say something to his mum, who has never once apologised for her sons vile behaviour. Even though the school have had to ring SS over him & keep him away from my son.

my little one has Cystic Fibrosis & had a feeding tube fitted recently, I got a call today from the school saying he’d fell on school tires & hit his tube. Let’s just say when I got there it looked like he’d been in a road accident how bad it was. The blood everywhere. Had to take him home & see the stoma nurse. Thankfully it’s ok now.

I get a text off my sons friend. They go to the same school, saying “her son wanted to tell her that the bully pushed my son on the tire & made him fall on his tube but he knows my son is to scared to tell me” I asked him after physically getting on my hands & knees & begging him because I just knew he was hiding it. My son went grey. I’ve never seen anyone go that colour. He finally caved.

He’s been picking on my son AGAIN when the teachers haven’t been looking, the past year has been horrific. Now it all makes sense. The weight loss, the picking at his lips to the point every part of his lips have no skin just scabs, the pulling his nail beds to pieces, I asked him months ago, was the bully in question bullying you again, please tell me you’re in no trouble. I’ve always made it clear he will never ever be in trouble he just needs to talk to me. But he’s put on such a bravado that he truly convinced us he was just down over his CF, so he’s been seeing the CF Psychologist.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore & I approached the bully’s mum (with the intentions to tell her to actually have words with her son) Soon as I approached her in the most non confrontational way she jumped on the offensive, I just exploded. Told her to keep her horrible nasty bullying son away from mine. I’ve had enough. I absolutely went off on one. I’m not proud of it but I’ve watched my son go from the most loveliest, kindest boy to a shell of himself.

He was pretending he was down because of his Cystic Fibrosis. I feel like I’ve failed him as a mum. I can’t stop crying, the school have done nothing at all. I don’t feel bad for the things I said to his mum though, her son is exactly the way he is because she can’t see no wrong in her son & that was so obvious today.

I know I’m not BU, (maybe some might say I am for even approaching her) I’d expect her to react the same had my son been the bully & I would wipe the floor with my son.

So now I’m in limbo, I just don’t know whether to home school him now but then I think why should the bully be let off the hook.

Im just distraught seeing my little sons face crumble. The colour he went was pure fear, it is scorched in my brain. I’ve had talks with him from when he was old enough to understand about how important it is to stand up for yourself but also that it’s ok if you are scared just tell me or your dad so we can fix it.

So sorry for going on. I’m just gutted. Sorry. I don’t even know what I’m looking for on here. I’m just so so heartbroken.

OP posts:
4plusthehound · 17/05/2023 04:16

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 04:08

@4plusthehound
@PyongyangKipperbang

You have both made excellent really switched on emotionally intelligent insights posts, !

@Cantstandbullies
Once you get Oftsted involved in with your son's school , in regard of his welfare, bullying abuse issues,

I can guarantee 💯 your son's school , will be bending over backwards like a controist at a circus, to be seen doing something to sort out effectively your son's bullying abuse assaults issues...

It's the nuclear option of Ofsted agency you need to contact urgently. !

Ooo - thank you! 😁

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 17/05/2023 04:14

Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 00:58

How do I go about reporting it? I have no clue but it’s an option I’m really considering. Had the tube come out of his stomach it could have done some serious damage to another organ. Thank god it didn’t x

Show quote history

Call 101. Seconding the PP who said it could be a hate crime.

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 04:08

@4plusthehound
@PyongyangKipperbang

You have both made excellent really switched on emotionally intelligent insights posts, !

@Cantstandbullies
Once you get Oftsted involved in with your son's school , in regard of his welfare, bullying abuse issues,

I can guarantee 💯 your son's school , will be bending over backwards like a controist at a circus, to be seen doing something to sort out effectively your son's bullying abuse assaults issues...

It's the nuclear option of Ofsted agency you need to contact urgently. !

Bellavida99 · 17/05/2023 04:05

Your poor boy. Is he definitely going to a different school in September? If so I’d have a relaxing “home school”. SATS are over, use this summer relaxing and confidence building and doing things your son loves doing. Report the disgusting bully but then have fun so you look back on this as a lovely bonus extra long summer hols. Good luck

Floppyelf · 17/05/2023 04:02

Is the bully over 10 years old? If yes, go to the police and make a report. Than push for that to be expelled from the school

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 03:55

Hi op@Cantstandbullies

Can you retrieve get your son's school shirt out of your bin, as include evidence to show police , about how severe,bad the assault was aswell?

Obviously you have got photos to show how really bad, the assaults inflicted on to son.

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 03:50

@Cantstandbullies

Also wondering if citizens advice bureau agency, could help you,in some way too,

there is usaully quite often citizens Advice bureau in most or all towns cities

obviously a main tel contact number with this service too

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 03:43

Hi @Cantstandbullies
Just been briefly doing a bit of research for you on the Internet,

Just looked up very interesting infor on NSPCC on Children and the Law
Last updated on 5 August 2022
It's essentially about human rights law in regard of children's welfare

It's straightforward reading, even though it's in regards of law,
It's overview of key legislation on these rights,
States across the UK there are many laws which aim to keep children safe and protect their rights.

Also I feel that would be beneficial, as a family for taking this forward escalating in regard of bullying issues being addressed you have with your son's school,
Is to make contact with a Disability rights Advocacy,
this is designated chosen person, usaully from relevant reputable charity/organisation that well known ,good reputation of campaign a particular cause, for e.g Mencap(disabilitycharity, and others for e.g

It could even be yourself, but obviously you would need to do enough of research on disability rights and the Law , children's human rights and education.

Look up disabilityrightsuk.org website
Advocacy get your voice heard infor

I am just wondering if anybody on here, could link up this relevant websites on up to date 5 August 2022, Children's rights and the Law and Advocacy websites,?

I tried to, but i am useless shit at doing things like that sorry...

4plusthehound · 17/05/2023 03:26

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/05/2023 02:01

Your chronically ill child was assaulted. Damn right I'd pursue charges. Criminally and civilly against the school, individual teachers, bully, his parents, whomever. I'm so sick of bullies being seen as victims.

I'm so sick of bullies being seen as victims.

This x 1 million. Seriously .

We had a teacher tell us that DDs bully had parents going through a divorce so they did not want to be too hard on him!

Itsanotherhreatday · 17/05/2023 03:24

IAteAllTheTomatoes

What PP says but also ask for the complaints policy. It should be on the school website

They may also have a community police officer attached to the school - these officers are there to prevent children spiraling and becoming criminals - so don’t worry about reporting another child he needs to be known to the police to get help - ins one ways you’ll be doing this child a favour.

Also, I don’t think attending school tomorrow will be in your best interests you are too emotional to be rational - I would call them say you’ve reported it to the police and you’ll be back in touch.

Also call your son in as a school refuser for now - it’s goes straight to governors and has to be reported to LA - it also keeps the LA support in place. You can deregister whenever once you are satisfied - last thing you want is him off their register and out of their responsibility

When you feel calmer you need to approach this as

My son feels
My son tells me
My son reports

etc and make this about him …. And not emotional mum.

i hope your son feels better and you can rebuild his confidence.

You may also need to speak the the high school as now is when the hand overs take place and you can demand your child is away from the buy and out support in place.

BubblyBunchOfCoconuts · 17/05/2023 03:23

Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 02:57

Do I just go into the police station? I’ve checked online but nothings really showing about how I report it? Thanks for replying x

Show quote history

@Cantstandbullies
I am from the US so idk how your police system works but I hope it is something that you 110% follow through with. You have been shown by the school that your sons safety is not their priority. As you have stood up to the bullies mother (So freaking proud of you!)continue to advocate for your son,be his voice.
Years ago I went through a situation with my child (nothing as serious as yours) but I knew it would end up a very bad situation if I didn't get serious. I met with the principal,then superintendent and then went to file a police report with our local police department.I contacted our attorney,my father(they didn't need to know that, lol)and used all the legal words etc....
The kid was expelled the next day,after years of misconduct.He was only 11😳
Not once have I regretted going in hard and with legal backing,because it was for my kid and many others who didn't have a voice.We are our children's VOICE.
Make it LOUD!

4plusthehound · 17/05/2023 03:18

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/05/2023 00:32

Emotions aside.......

This is time to inform the school and LEA about your intention to discuss their lack of care for a disabled pupil that they are protecting from physical assualt that will affect his health.

Go BIG with officialdom. Inform OFSTED too. I rather suspect that when the school realise that OFSTED will know, they will change their tune.

And look at changing schools. Insist that theLEA help you with transport for this if that is an issue for you as you are moving him due to safeguarding and their lack of care.

Emotions back on....... give your wee one a hug from me. As the mother of a (now) 32 year man with Cerebal Palsy who was horribly bullied in a similar manner, I am thinking of you both.

This ^^^

Go BIG on officialdom.

Really BIG

4plusthehound · 17/05/2023 03:15

I really think you need to go to the police with this one - the first time I have ever said that.

I would be going before going to the school, and I would then inform the school of the police complaint. Insist on seeing the governors to do the same. Let them know that if one more hair on the head of your medically vunerable child is hurt you will take them court. Show you mean business.

Your son has a medical condition - use that.

The bully, at 11 years of age is old enough to understand fully what he is doing - as shown by his cunning.

You want to scare the living daylights out of this child, his mother AND the school.

You are not a bad mother. Your son is growing up and thought he should/could handle it. Mine made a choice like that at the same age. Like you, a little part of me died when I knew what she went through. She is flying high now though so hang on!

But fight back really hard - escalate.

SarahSmith2023 · 17/05/2023 03:09

Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 02:57

Do I just go into the police station? I’ve checked online but nothings really showing about how I report it? Thanks for replying x

Show quote history

@Cantstandbullies your poor boy 😢

Theyre both lucky all you did was kick off verbally. I'm short, old, injured and slow but JFC! I know this sounds awful and I'm generally not prone to lashing out, but I feel this urge to land this kid in his arse!

im glad you're keeping him home, but the other little shit should be excluded so your DS Can go back for his last few weeks at his primary!!

it needs escalating so the little fuck can't go to the senior school your DS is going to.

If DS wasn't telling anyone I'm not sure how the school is at fault though?

once DS is a lot better you need to get to the bottom of why he was too scared to tell you.

thank god for DS's friend & his Mum. I'd be sending a thank you card & an appropriate gift.

I hope DS is, at least physically, feeling a lot better this morning.

on the bright side, this might mean he starts eating again & you can get rid of the feeding tube.

EllandRd · 17/05/2023 03:09

Oh your poor little boy, sending you both lots of well wishes. I would have reacted exactly the same. I would Homeschool him bless him, sounds like he has been through enough.

SchoolTripDrama · 17/05/2023 03:02

@Cantstandbullies Nope dial 101 right now, they're open 24/7. That's the non-emergency line. They'll be quiet right now too, so it's a good time to call. They'll make an appointment for an officer to come to your house.

Meanwhile, please don't send your son back in tomorrow. If anything else happens, it could make his injury worse and besides, poor boy doesn't deserve the fear

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 03:01

@Mumtobabyhavoc
Totally agree with your post,
I think you have hit nail on the head 💯, !

Original poster
Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 02:57

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 02:54

Actually @Cantstandbullies
I would inform the local Police about these bullying assaults attacks happening at school.

Do I just go into the police station? I’ve checked online but nothings really showing about how I report it? Thanks for replying x

OP posts:
Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 02:54

Actually @Cantstandbullies
I would inform the local Police about these bullying assaults attacks happening at school.

RollingInTheAisles · 17/05/2023 02:53

I’d go to the police too. This is a serious assault, aside from the ongoing behaviour. I’d also write a letter to the Head and the Governors telling them what you’re doing and why. I’d keep him out of school in the meantime and change schools if he still wants to attend - if the bully remains at the school.

Big hugs for you and your son.

Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 02:51

@Liorae

What a extremely objective shitty post you have sent op@Cantstandbullies , who happens to be a mum of child with speacial needs.
(I think your shitty post @Liorae just reflects , the kind of shitty person you are really,
now piss off 😤,
Actually fuck off, you nasty piece of work, !

Can someone report this one to mumsnet quarters, for your post being disabilist , !

I hope you get struck off mumsnet website sooner or later too. !

Original poster
Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 02:41

AmeliaWarnerBros · 17/05/2023 02:19

@Cantstandbullies , firstly I'm so sorry this has happened to your boy.

As someone who was mercilessly bullied at school & left to put up with it for 4 years- with no support or protection- from the teachers, please get him out of there.

Get justice first by reporting the spiteful bullying little shit, then after an apology, say f off to that school - that place your son will want to never return to xx

I am sorry you went through that. It must’ve been awful.

He isn’t going back, I couldn’t do that to him, I will be home schooling him until he starts high school & I am definitely reporting it x

OP posts:
Goodread1 · 17/05/2023 02:40

Hi @Cantstandbullies

I totally understand your explosive reaction towards bully's shit mother,

I would get in touch with Headmaster and tell School Governors about this ongoing continual issue aswell.

You either got option of home schooling ,with a tutor on board, or moving to different school elsewhere,

remember you can still pursue chasing up the school about bullying issues, with your son being taught elsewhere aswell.

Original poster
Cantstandbullies · 17/05/2023 02:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Go away & grow up. I’m not even entertaining you.

OP posts:
Liorae · 17/05/2023 02:39

This reply has been deleted

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