To have just exploded today

Year 6.

Is the bully 10 years old?

If so then he is committing a hate crime due to disability discrimination and he has assaulted your child on more than one occasion.

First of all check your insurance to see if you have legal cover. I am not a legal expert.

I'd calm down a bit and then write a nicely worded letter to the school saying they have a duty of care to keep your child safe. They have failed to do this and you want to know what they are going to do about it?

Then if the bully is 10 I'd contact the police, if he isn't 10 then I would write to the bully and his parents pointing out he is committing crimes and the day he turns 10 he is legally responsible for his own actions and can be arrested, but while he is under 10 his parents have to 'reasonable control' of their child.

Well done op for standing up for your son. My mum did the same for me once and I'll never forget it.

My son was the victim of vile racist bullying in the classroom. The school tried to suspend the child but their parents simply changed schools. So I went to the police who took it very seriously, took our statement and dealt with the bully. In your case I think it's really important that this is reported to the police. This is assault. God only knows who will be the next victim now that your son is at home. Great advice from pp re governors and ofsted too

I agree with taking this to the police and don’t rest with school until you’re satisfied they are working with you fully. All the best OP today. Be firm and take notes with you if you feel you might get flustered.

Hiya

yes this need to go through official channels. This is such an awful situation. Have you asked to see if there is any cctv that may have caught the push? I would be inclined to contact LA, ofsted and as far as the police. I would tell Regardless of outcome it will be done. You’ve given the school ample opportunity to sort this. Even if they say, we will be excluding X student, you continue with contacting the relevant authorities. i can’t see how they didn’t know. Students would have seen, statements should have been written.

As previous posters said, children are great at hiding. This isn’t your fault. You’re being a great mum.

I would report to the police on 101 but they may be limited in the action they take.

Mention safeguarding to school. What secondary are they due to go to? Different ones I hope.

Your poor son. Children with CF have to put up with so much already and it's a constant battle to keep weight on - it's heartbreaking to think this bully could be the reason why the feeding tube was needed in the first place. I would definitely report this to the police. If your boy isn't going back to school anyway, then go nuclear.

I am so sorry for your lovely boy. I totally agree with the posts to call the police on 101 and to see if this can be treated as a hate crime. And yes to making this as loud as possible by going nuclear on the school. Poor thing. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything so shocking happening at a school, especially as it is primary, on all my years on Mumsnet. Big hugs to both of you. X

Do not feel bad. You should continue by asking for an appt at the school with safeguarding and teacher and head and the other boys parents and tell them all all of this. Ask them to act. See what they do from there. If this carries on I would consider moving schools. Good luck to you xxxx

Totally agree with all of this and just want to say OP- you are a good mum, you have no reason to feel bad and most of us would have done the same in your situation.

I am so sorry you and your son are going through this x

Your poor boy, I’d have reacted exactly the same as you. Good luck with your meeting today and as others have said it might be worth speaking to the police.

You’ve done well to hold yourself back for so long op, so don’t feel guilty for losing your shit. The school are not protecting your son, so they need to step up and take care of this.

Don't delay reporting it to Police. Do it first thing, after 9am. If you don't, you may regret it. I doubt you will regret reporting it.

Sorry he’s going through all that, he sounds like he’s having a really tough time 😔 I’ve just left teaching and one of the main reasons was the fact nothing is done/can be done about behaviour. The whole thing was just becoming one big lie and it resulted in me having terrible anxiety every day. Children would be horrible to others, often physically assaulting them in the playground or even in the classroom. I would deal with it while trying to teach the lesson but would call for management if it was bad. They would either just not come, to the point that kids would actually say they wouldn’t come because it always happened or if they did turn up it was completely dismissed like it was nothing, even when children had literally thrown a chair at someone in the classroom. Often they had assaulted me too. Every time without fail I was told to basically lie to the parents and make it all seem like it was nothing. There was only so much ‘gaslighting’ I could do to cover my head teacher’s back but it resulted in me becoming so ill. Unfortunately I think it’s the same story for an awful lot of teachers, it was the same set up in nearly every classroom in my school and my previous one.. I dread my son starting school for that reason 😔 hopefully you are able to get something done about this boy

Your poor son OP. I would make a complaint to Governors. Plus because boy pushed him, and friends son is witness, report to Police for assault, it's physical assault which is more serious, so it's better that you have that in your locker iyswim.

Not an expert, but this 'bully's' behaviour already sounds criminal.

That, and he frankly sounds like a total sadist. No normal person would hurt your vulnerable son the way he has.

Go into your local police station today, OP, and report him.

@4plusthehound The same happened when my mother went to complain about the class bully (a total little psycho); the headmistress apparently tried to excuse him by saying: "but he's from a broken home..." My mother responded: "my children are from a broken home too, and they don't behave like that!"

I wonder how he has turned out?

Ofsted will tell the OP to use the school's complaint policy and follow it through. They won't come in to investigate themselves.

@Liorae you're a disgusting human being.

I hope you never experience anything close to what OP (and your child anything like what OP's son has), but it would be nice if you took a long, hard look in the mirror before you post anything else.

I was terribly bullied at school.....
My heart goes out to you and your lovely son... Go in to.school today and cause a shitstorm!!

Not to derail, but to add: the term bully really is over-used and misused. At a certain point bullying crosses a line and becomes criminal. You can't call the perpetrator of the assault in OP's ds's case a bully. The action is far beyond that now. I think all victims need to push for punishment, but I fully understand the fear of retaliation. I'm not sure how to stop it. I just know if we son't do something more at the school level the children "bullies" become abusive adults. 🤷‍♀️

@CelestiaNoctis

I agree, second this your post is definitely a good one,

Contacting local newspaper and doing a petition to get this bullying pupil to be expelled permanently.!

It look reflect really bad on the school and obviously come to the attention of wider community,
It clearly shows the school does not care enough to look after its pupils interests, even if they are most vunerable ones too.

Could even attract the attention of school Governors, attention, and political counsellors in local community, etc.

Even Ofsted .!

@4plusthehound that's what I mean! The child could still be given support to help cope and suffer punishment at the same time. There has to be consequences. Victims are scarred for life. That bit is never given enough weight.

Oh my word @Cantstandbullies I'm sending you and your son giant massive hugs, love and support. I'm proud of you and fuck anyone with anything negative to say!

And anyone being shitty can do one. Not the thread to be a wanker at the OP. Just nah.

You've had amazing advice so I'm going to tell you that I have once witnessed a mother so torn to pieces with her sons bullying she once ran at the bullies mother (who was in fairness, an absolute nightmare) and jumped on her like she she was a wrestler.
The kids were shocked, parents (slightly delightedly, we know school mums live for drama) had to peel this mum off her sons bullys mum. Anyway, this mum once she was successfully peeled off the bullys mum said to the bully, "every time DC comes home upset, I'm going to batter your mum".
The mum got bollocked but no charges, the bullying stopped.

Some kids (brothers) picked on my son, not bullied but dipped their toe in, so I just went straight to them and their mum and said, "that's not OK lads, we're all mates here, aren't we other mum? We're nice to our friends, we don't tease them!" And she was great about it, they were awful for her so she quite enjoyed them looking awkward because of another adult, we became friends, so I get it's not always the parents fault their little angels get away with murder, but what you did was fully justified and I hope that it has quashed this chapter of your sons life and he can move on. Your poor wee lad, I have a pal with CF and he is on the miracle drug doing amazing things now!

If you were local I'd love to bring my ridiculous bunch of wild kids to hang out with him, they're nuts but would definitely befriend him. ♥️

@Goodread1 it just breaks my heart for these victims and infuriates me the bullies get away with it. And guess what kind of colleague they become...? It's all levels and ages, really - but that's for another conversation.

Bullied children are often so scared of the bully that they will lie and say that they are not being bullied. I learned at school that if I reported bullying, the teachers would not protect me and the bullies would crank up the violence as revenge for having "grassed". I didn't report a second time, which was what they wanted. Are you familiar with the rhyme "snitches get stitches"? It's grounded in an unpleasant reality.