To have just exploded today

I'd also capitalise on the sexual abuse angle and mention that the school has allowed verbal sexual abuse/grooming to take place. Also, mention that usually when a child is displaying sexualised behaviour it's because they're victims themselves. So the school has failed two children in it's care do the q is what are they going to do about it?

I’m really sorry about your son, it sounds horrific.

This is what you need to do in terms of dealing with the school: (I’m a safeguarding governor.)

Find the complaints policy, safeguarding policy and bullying policy (sometimes it is separate from safeguarding, sometimes it’s within in it.)
Highlight the parts where they are not keeping your son safe and where they are not following the policy.
Ask what they are going to do to keep your son safe.
Ask about playground supervision.
Ask about what the school are doing to stop the bullying.
Don’t ask what is happening to the bully, they won’t be able to tell you, focus on your son and his safety and well being.
Take someone with you if you want, or take notes. Make a note of any actions the school said they were going to make with agreed deadlines.
Send your minutes back to the head e.g. saying from this meeting we agreed the following with the following deadlines. It is important to have a paper trail.

You can also combine it with a formal complaint, your complaints policy will have the procedure to follow. You can’t jump steps, you can’t go directly to the governors. As a governor, whilst we might sympathise, they should just direct you to the complaints policy, some don’t, but if there was any action to be taken against the head, it would fail because procedures haven’t been followed, so it is really important to stick to the policies. Again, the key thing here is to highlight where policies aren’t being followed, failure to keep your son safe and any noticeable gaps in the policy as well.

Please ignore all the posters saying go straight to the governors and Ofsted. You won’t get anywhere. Ofsted expect you to have exhausted the complaints procedure first and they’re not a school complaints body. Governors, well if you do end up taking it further then you’re going to need governors with no prior knowledge to sit on governor panels, we‘re not going to be able to do anything unless it is presented via the proper channels. There is some extremely poor advice on Mumsnet regarding complaining to schools.

I hope your meeting goes well.

Your poor boy.

I'd inform the police
If then see the head at school and talk to them about it, they will have cctv of the incident and I'd ask what they plan to do. I'd also email the head with what's been agreed and copy in the school governors

Following that I'd inform OFSTED

I'd then not send my ds into school and look for alternative schools or even home schooling.

As regards homeschooling/moving your child, I'd ask them what they prefer - maybe they really like the current school if it weren't for the bully, and have friends there?

Ah op this wasn’t your fault at all. The school are your eyes when your child is at school and they dropped the ball big time. For what it’s worth , I think you did the right thing. I think you held your composure a very long time and of course such a serious incident would push you over the edge. The school is beyond neglectful to your son. I would move heaven and high earth to get the bully thrown out as I have zero sympathy for him doing that to your poor son over such a long time!!! I agree with the poster that said hound the school. Make it so it’s easier to get rid of him than deal with you! Of course within reason. I would even consider a solicitor getting involved if that’s even a thing, it might not be but it does seem like you could likely take it all further!

Sending positive energy to your poor boy, and strength to you.
I agree with all above about taking this as far as possible with police, school, and every other authority that can in any way act.

Thank goodness your son’s friend contacted you, and told you the reality of what happened. I wonder if it would be worth letting the friend’s parents know what is happening, as the friend may find he is in the bully’s sights for speaking out, and the friend needs to be kept safe too.

Also call IPSEA who will be able to advise you legally where you stand with the school, they have a SEND specialist helpline.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/Pages/Category/service-overview

Ask the "witness" if he'll also kindly speak before the governors.
And in your meeting today, mention that the Daily Mail have been in touch as they'd like to do a front-page article on your child's situation at that school, and you're not sure what to tell them...

I think you did the right thing. Send what you wrote here to the school governors. And move schools if you get nowhere. I'm so very sorry, bullies are awful

I know it’s extreme, but I’d look at home school or another school. My friend’s son recently committed suicide because of bullies and unfortunately it seems some schools are just not capable of keeping children safe.

Your poor son, it’s heartbreaking to read this. I’m so glad that other child stepped up and told the right information and that it got back to you. You’ve done nothing wrong, you sound amazing.

I think that I would do similar. Your poor boy. The school seems currently unable to keep him safe.

Really hope that things improve soon. One of the reasons I had to move my DD from her primary school was bullying, it is horrendous.

This. The Head won't want the governors or Ofsted involved.

However, I would keep my child home for a week or two to give them respite from the bully and give the school a chance to act.

It's awful, YANBU in the slightest. Some parents are just shit.

OFSTED and Police.

It was only when my friend reported to the police the school actually addressed the bullying her DD10 was being subjected to.

Don’t tell the school yet that you intend to home school.

Call non emergency police and report there, or go in person.

Tell the school today you’ve reported to police.

Don’t let the school off the hook.

I would call ofsted and raise this as a safeguarding concern.
I would ask for a meeting with the Chair of Governors rather than the Head as they have clearly not done anything.
I would also contact the Local Authority Education Department and raise concerns with them too.
Finally I would go to the police and report the other boy for assault.
what a load of crap, I am so sorry for your son and you to go through this - I cannot abuse bullies and the adults in schools who should be a safety who clearly are not doing their jobs well enough.

Report to 101, then meeting with the school followed by a group email to : headteacher, head of year, teacher, chair of governors, head of your local council and head of LEA (if LEA school), l your local councillor and Ofsted if you can. There’s nothing like a group email to focus people’s minds. Make sure you don’t include the bully’s name in the email for confidentiality reason.

At this stage, I’d demand the bully be excluded.

I’m sorry your son and your family are going through this.

Oh do fuck off. Have you not read how this poor lad has been suffering. He was obviously petrified of speaking up (which is why bullies get away with it so long).
I would absolutely report to the police OP, the school clearly aren’t going to do anything off their own back. I really hope your son starts to get over this horrible time.

I think you absolutely did the right thing losing it with her! My brother was bullied really badly at school and one day it was him who lost it and he punched the bully in the face. Think he got a detention but guess what the bullying stopped.

Sometimes the losing it works. Your poor boy, you are a very strong mum and kids hide stuff, it's not your fault

My DD was hit and pushed over at school in year 6. I told the school that I would not allow her to be physically assaulted while under their care and I would report to the police if they did not deal with it. It seemed to make them pay attention.

Call SS again and also ofsted. I'd kick up a massive fuss at school as well.

OP there is a boy at my DD primary school known to have v bad behaviour. He had been making inappropriate comments so DD told a dedicated safeguarding teacher who is known as the go-to teacher for this.

I got a phone call from the teacher who very seriously told me what had happened, that they don’t tolerate that language in school and that they would be dealing with it, but if I had any concerns to contact them immediately. The boy was suspended for a week (probably a combination of things but that was the final straw). DD and friend were taken out of class the next day by the deputy head to see how they were doing. When the boy came back he wasn’t allowed at their table for another week and was supervised by someone at lunch time.

That is how you deal with bullies. The victims feel the perpetrators have been punished. I was not happy with what the boy said, it was homophobic slur words but could have been worse let’s say.

This is Y6 primary. My point is your school is not doing enough AT ALL. Your child is already vulnerable and they are failing in their duty of care to provide a safe environment and education for him.

Forgot to say - those policies should be online. If they aren't, phone the school first thing and ask them to give you copies.

Before you go to see the head, read through the school's bullying, discipline and safeguarding policies, and make a note of the bits which should have protected your child. Ask them to account for exactly how they have complied with those policies, and to set out a foolproof plan for safeguarding your child if he were to come back.

By homeschooling your son instead, you are letting the school get away with this. Your son has a right to education with other children in a safe place.

My DS came home from a school with a black eye two weeks ago. Its the 4th time this year hes been harmed by the same child. I kept him off school the next day and told school that he clearly isnt safe in school and will not be returning until actions have been taken to ensure its addressed and he is safe, and that I was seeking advice from other external parties. The head did more in that one day to resolve the issue than she has the rest of the year. Looks like she was worried about her and the schools reputation.

Bullies do need to be called out.
I am horrified a previous poster has left the teaching profession because of children's behaviour. Poor parenting and a lack of decency seem to be on the rise. My late mother was a police officer and she called in the police when my older brother was bullied. Anyone over 10 is criminally accountable. You need to scare the bejesus out of that little shit. My daughter was bullied but we've had the last laugh. Keep angry and do not send your son to the same secondary as the bully. I am absolutely furious for you. The School Governors need to be informed.