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Original poster

Lads holiday

109 replies

Kristenb6 · 15/05/2023 23:16

What is everyone’s opinions on “Lads holidays” in their 40s? My husband has told me he would like to go on holiday with friends next year for his upcoming big birthday, our children have never been on holiday nor have we together or as a family in over a decade for various reasons. We currently live in a house that is too small and our children are crammed into rooms where 2 there are in one room and 3 in the other. Our youngest also has special needs so holidays have not been a priority lately. My husband works hard as do I, we both have well paid jobs and share everything and divide our incomes equally. Am I being unreasonable for thinking that the money would be better spent on a bigger house for our family or we could go on holiday together? I just couldn’t imagine leaving him and the kids to go on a girls holiday with my friends given our situation!

OP posts:
Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:50

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:48

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:45

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Itsanotherhreatday · 17/05/2023 07:42

Living in cramped conditions? Yet you continued to have children knowing your own circumstances and now is the time to save?

Wow - I have no issue with DH going on holiday and why not? You should do the same especially if ‘you need it more’

If he’s clueless about finances then why not show him? Give him a monthly update and put him in charge?

TakeAParent · 17/05/2023 07:40

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Your posts are making me laugh. My husband is none of the things you mention and definitely didn’t vote leave. He has been away with friends in his forties and fifties but didn’t call it a ‘lads holiday’. Is that ok? I am trying to work out which is the crucial bit!

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:39

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:38

Yes and yes

Did your dh call it a “lads holiday” and did your dh vote leave?

This was in response to this .....

And he's by no means on a low income.

You need to check your prejudices 🤷🏼‍♀️

TakeAParent · 17/05/2023 07:39

Kristenb6 · 16/05/2023 09:18

yes the sofa sleeping meaning both of us make the move so that our teen can finally have a bedroom to themselves, the younger ones are sharing with our youngest who has special needs and it’s quite difficult situation and stressful for them nobody gets any sleep most of the time. (We are already in the smallest bedroom and there’s room for our bed only) I feel like he is not thinking long term, him going off on holiday by himself wouldn’t impede a house move by too much admittedly but it’s the principle of it- I certainly wouldn’t dream of going off on holiday with the girls given our situation! someone asked earlier it’s more the money factor rather than him wanting a holiday (we would all love one let’s be honest!) but we have sacrificed over the years and continue to do so while he is only home half the year due to work and living in cramped conditions so he benefits more than any of us. I have said he can go on the holiday if he wishes but I do feel like I will resent him if he decides that this is more important to him than a family break and taking away from the house savings

’I have said he can go on the holiday if he wishes’

Be careful he doesn’t throw this back at you. I would say that you cannot stop him but be clear that you do not agree with it as it takes valuable funds away from the family pot.

He sounds selfish.

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:38

Yes and yes

Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:37

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:35

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DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:31

There's nothing wrong with wanting to go on a lads (or girls holiday) whatever your age.

But that's not the issue here. Those types of holiday shouldn't be at the expense of family holidays or the needs of your kids.

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:30

Voting leave = wanting to go on holiday with your mates.

There's some research nobody thought to do 😂

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 07:28

it was the lads holiday in forties that leads to my assumption

Well you know what they say about making assumptions......

So, according to you, going on a 'lads' holiday in your 40's means you're on a low income, not well educated, gym obsessed and voted leave?

I must tell my PhD educated, senior academic husband and his similarly educated friends (who, incidentally have never seen the inside of a gym) to cancel their weekend away...... although my DH did vote leave so I guess you got one thing right 🙄

Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:20

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:19

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 07:18

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RabbitRabbitRabbitHouse · 17/05/2023 06:38

A holiday with mates will not even touch on the cost for you to buy a bigger house and move though will it?

DollyTrolly · 17/05/2023 06:30

lucyislooking
What on earth are you trying to say with your ridiculous stereotypes?

The Ops partner does come across as very selfish but there are selfish people across all social classes, education levels and political persuasions.

Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 06:16

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Lucyislooking · 17/05/2023 06:10

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Original poster
Kristenb6 · 16/05/2023 21:58

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Just the last one 😂

OP posts:
OhBling · 16/05/2023 16:26

Well, if money is so tight that you can barely fit into your house, then no, a holiday abroad with the lads is ridiculous. Even more so if he's regularly getting time out to do hobbies etc, all of which cost money and take time while you're at home caring for the DC.

God, the bar is low.

For the record, DH is going on a lads holiday this year. First time since we've had kids. It's a big birthday. But after years of being skint and exhausted becuase we had no money and a very difficult DC1, things have settled down for us and I think it's going to be great. Now I just need him to plan a holiday with one, or even both, of our DC while I stay home! Grin

CaffeinateMeNow · 16/05/2023 16:08

DoggosAloud · 15/05/2023 23:19

I’ve no problem with them in general.

However, in your situation, I’d be very annoyed that this is a priority over you all having a break together. It seems selfish.

Agree with this.

Lucyislooking · 16/05/2023 15:55

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Cracklecrack · 16/05/2023 15:54

There was also so much stuff about a couple of them seemingly having endless money whereas a couple didn’t. It all got quite bitchy- one guy said he couldn’t go as they couldn’t afford it cos of a family holiday they’d booked and some of the others got all huffy and could t seem to understand that they’d had to make a choice between one or the other and the family came first 🤷‍♀️

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