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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this acceptable? Should I ring child services?

87 replies

JasonMomoasnextgirlfriend · 14/05/2023 20:45

I’ve just found out that next weekend when he has our kids that my ex is planning on paying my 14 year old son to babysit his 11 year old sister whilst he buggers off to participate in a pole dancing competition (of all things)! I’m furious but I don’t know about whether other people would find this acceptable, or whether this is classed as neglect? Can anyone help?

OP posts:
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CadburyDream · 14/05/2023 23:52

Nspcc say there is no legal age for children/siblings to babysit, HTH op.

ladydimitrescu · 14/05/2023 23:51

I was baby sitting toddlers at 14. It's fine.

Tellmeimcrazy · 14/05/2023 23:45

That's meant to say you'd rather ring child services than offer to have the kids.

Tellmeimcrazy · 14/05/2023 23:41

Wow you are unhinged. You'd rather ting vhild services than offer yo have the kids.

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/05/2023 23:36

I wouldnt because they are siblings.

A 14 year old babysitting other kids creates a different dynamic. The older child is in charge.

But siblings, especially at that age, can be proper arseholes to each other. Are they the same sex? Two boys of that age could end up in carnage and genuine injuries. If the younger one is a girl then there is a more than average chance of her simply ignoring him and pissing him off. Had to do it a couple of times with mine due to emergencies and it invariably ended up with both parties moaning about how the other one was completely unreasonable.

I was happy for my teens to babysit but not for each other, only for other families.

That said, it probably wouldnt be considered SS worthy and wouldnt be taken seriously. The only thing you can do is offer to have them that night at home yourself.

DoingBugStuff · 14/05/2023 23:35

Don’t be ridiculous, it’s a 14 year old watching an 11 year old, not a 4 year old watching a 1 year old

Mannymoomin · 14/05/2023 23:31

Well I had my very own baby at 14 years old, yes, that I birthed myself. I think most 14 year olds are quite capable of watching an independent 11 year old sibling, so unless there is SEN YABU

neslop · 14/05/2023 23:30

Yes this is acceptable.
No it is not neglect.
No you should not ring child services.

cyncope · 14/05/2023 23:26

A few hours is normal/fine - acceptable to most parents and families.

Overnight - maybe more borderline.

The whole weekend - not sure if would really be neglect, but not ok.

Oblomov23 · 14/05/2023 23:23

It's not neglect. You sound neurotic.

HowcanIhelp123 · 14/05/2023 23:21

Plenty of 14 year olds babysit. I doubt they could care less at a responsible 14yo watching an 11yo. Many families would expect a 14yo to watch a younger sibling for a few hours as a one off - and many wouldn't pay them! If it was a new baby thats one thing but an 11yo should be sensible enough and largely look after themselves.

NectarCard · 14/05/2023 23:02

*wont

NectarCard · 14/05/2023 23:02

But, social work give a shit and you’re barmy to think so

NectarCard · 14/05/2023 23:01

Pole comps go on late imo. I personally wouldn’t want a 14 yo babysitting but I’d be more concerned how late the comp goes, they are notorious for dragging out depending on the organisers.

ChairFloorWall · 14/05/2023 22:52

And why exactly are you so furious? Get a grip ffs

FuchsAndMöhr · 14/05/2023 22:52

You’re taking the piss right?!

YouWonJayne · 14/05/2023 22:51

I think children’s services have better things to do than worry about a 14yo looking after their 11yo sister.

TeenLifeMum · 14/05/2023 22:50

Most 14 year olds can babysit - my Dd is now 15 but she’s babysat her two sisters since she was 14 and they were 10(twins). Totally depends on the dc but not neglect. You’re being ott here.

Stompythedinosaur · 14/05/2023 22:39

Sounds alright to me.

Ourladycheesusedatum · 14/05/2023 22:37

webster1987 · 14/05/2023 20:49

First things first...ample dancing competition?!

Brilliant auto cucumber.

That's me that is 'ample' dancing I did me some of that yesterday at a wedding.

MajesticWhine · 14/05/2023 22:37

I think it's fine, provided it isn't overnight.
I am guessing there is a bit of a back story here.

Bbq1 · 14/05/2023 22:32

I babysat a lot at 14 - toddlers, babies, twins, 3 children in one family. Often until 12 or later.no problem. I was mature and could deal with any issues.

Inn this instance, It depends on whether or not we are going to get a huge drip feed from Op here though... If it suddenly transpires that dad is leaving them from Friday evening until Monday morning then that's different.

Doyoumind · 14/05/2023 22:31

Unless he's away overnight I've no idea why you've got an issue with this.

dizzydizzydizzy · 14/05/2023 22:30

I can't see the point of them going to stay with a parent who then goes out.

Otterock · 14/05/2023 22:27

I babysat for 2 primary school age kids a few times when I was 13. They lived next to m my secondary school so I used to get a lie in before school, loved it. Depends entirely on the set up but I don’t really see the issue