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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does this sound rude?

35 replies

MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 17:47

I’m just about to send a WhatsApp party invite. My child just started new school last term so I don’t know parents very well. So I’m writing along the lines (this is NOT word for word) of “details of party….I hope you can make it. RSVP date is… if I don’t get a response by the RSVP date I’ll assume your child will NOT be attending x”

the bit I’m unsure of is “if I don’t get a response by x day I’ll assume your child will NOT attend”.

im just worried incase this sounds rude? But I also want to be clear if they don’t respond on time there don’t be a space as I will be inviting cousins, old school friends etc, and places are limiting - I’m obviously not gonna write this out this in the message but just what wrote above in quotes. Rude or not rude?

OP posts:
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Tellmeimcrazy · 11/05/2023 22:43

Maddy70 · 11/05/2023 18:51

Why dont you add a poll so they can just click attending or not attending

Ohhhh great idea

Irritateandunreasonable · 11/05/2023 20:32

@MumTeach1 ive had such hard time getting RSVPs for my sons bday. I’ve just asked what meal they would like for their kid but I’ve decided I’m not chasing it this time and anyone who doesn’t respond is getting nuggets lol

WhatWeDoInTheShadow · 11/05/2023 19:05

Cantwaitforsummertime · 11/05/2023 19:01

Don’t give the venue details until they respond to say they are going. Just say it’s local/being booked but need numbers to confirm. And once you have a yes you can give those parents the details to avoid any one else turning up who hasn’t replied.

I wouldn't do this, as I think a lot of people would just say no (because they don't like not knowing) or say yes to get the info and then not turn up if they don't like the sound of the party

Onelifeonly · 11/05/2023 19:04

Cantwaitforsummertime · 11/05/2023 19:01

Don’t give the venue details until they respond to say they are going. Just say it’s local/being booked but need numbers to confirm. And once you have a yes you can give those parents the details to avoid any one else turning up who hasn’t replied.

But what if they need to be able to drive/ get a bus there? That might be a consideration in whether they can accept or not.

Onelifeonly · 11/05/2023 19:03

You'll still get people not responding by the date stated and they may then turn up at the party. I'd follow up with a direct question to any non responders if numbers were key - either by message or in person.

Cantwaitforsummertime · 11/05/2023 19:01

Don’t give the venue details until they respond to say they are going. Just say it’s local/being booked but need numbers to confirm. And once you have a yes you can give those parents the details to avoid any one else turning up who hasn’t replied.

Maddy70 · 11/05/2023 18:57

MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:56

@Maddy70 thats a good idea. Will it still work as I don’t know their kids names. So if the parent selects yes I won’t know who their child is as I only met handful of them

I'm not actually sure but I thought you could see who answered?

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:56

@Maddy70 thats a good idea. Will it still work as I don’t know their kids names. So if the parent selects yes I won’t know who their child is as I only met handful of them

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 11/05/2023 18:51

Why dont you add a poll so they can just click attending or not attending

Tellmeimcrazy · 11/05/2023 18:48

Say:

Hi I hope you are all well. I would like to invite everyone to A's birthday on B date. Please let me know by X as I need to confirm numbers. I really hope you can all make it. Thanks have a lovely weekend.

Then, I would chase up the day before the deadline.

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:47

@EasterBreak i didn’t mean for it to sound rude! 😂 I just have a hard time trying to word things properly lol

OP posts:
EasterBreak · 11/05/2023 18:43

Original message was so rude I almost hope you'd have sent it, would have definitely made it on here from a parent 🤣🤣

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:22

@Irritateandunreasonable lol!! I know what You mean. Last party in old school only 3 RSVPD can you believe it! Only invited girls so 6 just turned up and others didn’t respond,

OP posts:
Irritateandunreasonable · 11/05/2023 18:20

Ohh DO IT!!!!

Getting RSVPs is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT.

It’s beyond frustrating lol… be very to the point or you’ll be chasing things up for days!

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:19

@HanSB thank you again

OP posts:
Screwedupworld · 11/05/2023 18:18

Go with @HanSB said

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:18

Thank you mumsnetters! You’re all amazing!

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 11/05/2023 18:18

What @HanSB has put is perfect, I’d send that

MrsDoylesDoily · 11/05/2023 18:15

lovemelongtime · 11/05/2023 17:52

Don't use the caps on NOT , that is rude. Apart from that it's fine

That's exactly how I feel too.

Nobbies · 11/05/2023 18:14

I think @HanSB response is perfect @MumTeach1

WhatWeDoInTheShadow · 11/05/2023 18:13

Yes, a bit blunt. Glad you decided not to send it like that.

I'd go with @HanSB's suggestion

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 18:11

I really like this whst @HanSB put:

Please RSVP by x date so that I can confirm numbers with the venue. Sadly due to limited spaces, I will not be able to accept any siblings or late RSVPs

what do the rest of you think?

OP posts:
SchoolShenanigans · 11/05/2023 18:08

It does sound rude. I would reword it "if you could please let me know by X date so I can confirm numbers with the venue."

HanSB · 11/05/2023 18:06

Please RSVP by x date so that I can confirm numbers with the venue. Sadly due to limited spaces, I will not be able to accept any siblings or late RSVPs.

Original poster
MumTeach1 · 11/05/2023 17:55

Thank you all! I had a feeling it might be rude. Gosh! So glad I didn’t send it now. I’ll send it tomorrow morning. I’m still really nervous sending it, I don’t know them very well but thought whole class invite might be nice.

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