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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in the wrong here?

32 replies

Notastayathomemum · 08/05/2023 22:47

So I live in a different state to my friend from Uni, we have had an on and off friendship mostly due to us not living in the same country but we have seen more of each other in the last few years ( last time I visited was 2 years ago)
Anyway she invites me on a girls weekend with her friends who I have not met, except the girl who’s house we went to turns out I had met her briefly 2 years ago, besides the point.
the invite was around 5 months ago, I book my plane tix and leave and a week before the trip she tells me she broke up with her partner ( rebound guy, of 16 months) so I said we can have a good time and take her mind off him.
we had a fab night when I got there, even though it was focussed on her partner and the break up I was more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on.
Next day two of her friends pick us up to take us to this holiday house, let’s call her Maddy.
Maddy greeted us with a platter and bubbly and welcomed us to her beautiful home. We weren’t even there 10 minutes and my friend starts asking Maddy if she cracked on to her partner at a 40th they were at.
it made the situation very uncomfortable.
anyway we headed out and went for lunch where my friend and her 2 besties were being really cold to this Maddyit was an undercurrent and as I don’t know these ladies I chose to just chalk it down to that.
my friend got progressively more drunk and the restaurant refused to serve more alcohol to her. At this stage I was outside waiting for her.
went to find her and she was shouting at the owner for cutting her off.
I went to get her and told her we were leaving and took her arm in mind and gently walked her out trying to calm her down.
we went to another place. Here her and her friends started questioning Maddy why she didn’t invite my friend to her husband’s party. She was said well it’s not her party and her ex would be going and he husband is good friends with the ex rather than. My friend.
anyway Maddy was upset so wanted to go, I decided to go with as I really didn’t want her catching a cab on her own.
my friend was in the toilet so I called to let her know what was happening and that I wanted to go home and watch the coronation with Maddy.
when they all came home my friend totally blasted me and Maddy and told me I was picking sides.
i Explained I have no idea what this is about I just didn’t want Maddy to go home alone and I myself wanted to go.
she didn’t accept that and told me she didn’t want anything to do with me.
this leaves me with a person I didn’t know having to make my way to the airport to get an earlier flight so I could just get home. Her friends who I went with were cold as ice to me for “ betraying “ my friend. So I had to ask Maddy for a lift to her house, bearing in mind I met this lovely lady once 2 years ago, and her husband who I never met took me to the airport.
my friend didn’t contact me once to ask if I was ok to get home or even check if I got home ok.
no word of her even the next day. Is this fucked up or Am I missing something.

OP posts:
Testina · 08/05/2023 23:52

“Here her and her friends started questioning Maddy why she didn’t invite my friend to her husband’s party. She was said well it’s not her party and her ex would be going and he husband is good friends with the ex rather than. My friend”

See this is pretty shitty of Maddy. My husband wouldn’t get to dictate whether my friend could still come to a party at my house just because his mate had dumped my mate. Oh it’s husband’s party? Bullshit! They’re married.

Your friend sounds pretty trashy with the drunken bar stuff, but you sound in thrall to the “beautiful home” and possibly pretty naïve about Maddy.

Why did Maddy’s husband have to take you to the airport? Are you a child?

Testina · 08/05/2023 23:48

“I book my plane tix and leave and a week before the trip she tells me she broke up with her partner ( rebound guy, of 16 months)”

This sounds unnecessarily catty about a so-called friend. Rebound guy? You’re dismissive about her 16 month relationship?

Testina · 08/05/2023 23:46

Maddy is about 40, right?
Maddy is perfectly capable of getting a cab on her own - “lovely lady” and “beautiful home” make you sound like you’re pathetically fan-girling her.

So your friend might be a drunken arsehole, but she’s supposedly your friend so I’m going to assume she isn’t usually an arsehole - or why stay friends?

So potentially Maddy has flirted with your friend’s ex and dropped your friend like a stone for party invitations because she’s been dumped. And you chose to hang out with her, and her lovely home, because she couldn’t get a cab on her own?

I expect there’s much more to this than you’re sharing 🤷🏻‍♀️

wafflyversatile · 08/05/2023 23:42

I suppose she is in a lot of pain just now but how childish and pretty shitty behaviour. Maybe once she's calmed down she'll apologise but even if she does get round to feeling ashamed she might be too ashamed to contact you.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/05/2023 23:37

Exactly what the other posters above me said. Team Maddy

Malarandras · 08/05/2023 23:35

They all sound like horrors, apart from Maddy and her husband, who actually helped you out. I would ditch this so called friend of yours for good!

Rogue1001MNer · 08/05/2023 23:31

Team Maddy.
The others all sound like a nightmare

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