He called his ex when drunk

Nope. If he thought anything of you, he would have ended the relationship. He didn't. She did. He can't even be with you for 24-48 hours (out of 2 weeks) without phoning her.

And you are unable to be honest and hold him to account for that call. Instead you're asking internet strangers to validate your relationship because he won't.

No, you're kidding yourself. If he risked his last relationship for you, he'll risk his relationship with you for someone else!!!

omg @confuseddotcom201 get a grip HE DOESNT LOVE YOU HE LOVES HER WAKE UP

Also 250 replies and not one person thinks he loves you, he loves her

It means nothing. Some people like to have someone on the side - always.
She probably blocked him because she was sick of the phone calls, and maybe sick of him seeing other people

Move him in. Encourage your children to become attached to him. Share your home and income with him.

Then put up with him calling/messaging and sleeping with other women until he leaves you less than a year later. Because that's what's going to happen, even if he is nice to the kids during the very few hours he's spent with them.

Here's what I think happened.
You man was in a relationship.
He started to take his 'friendship' with you up a notch into emotional affair territory for a bit of added excitement in his life/ego etc. Tells you his (no doubt perfectly fine) relationship is awful. Poor him. Reels you in. Keeps it secret from her.
She finds out and bins him. So he's left with you and might as well progress that as have nothing.
But really what he wants is what he's lost, and he's campaigning to get her bacK. That's what you heard on the phone.
The fact he was drunk didn't make him talk rubbish. It just made him careless and talk where you could over hear.
If you want to continue with him its your choice. You just need to keep your fingers crossed she sticks to her guns. Because if she ever says the word, you won't see him for dust.

Do you really want to move someone to your house and kids lives who might be confused?

You need to wake up. He is with you until his ex takes him back.

Sorry to be harsh, but you sound so desperate and he is using you. Surely it's better to be single than second best.

In the nicest way possible, get a grip.

Listen OP. It's possible that he was drunk and talking bollocks. But do you want to take the risk of him moving in with you, when he may or may not have meant what he said? Maybe better to slow things down a bit between you, until he's had more time to demonstrate his commitment to you. It is very quick to move in together even without this happening.

Has no one ever made a similar call just because they were drunk and confused

Honestly OP, no. I know that's not what you want to hear but no, I don't think people would do this unless it was something they actually felt.

If she's not talking to him, what was happening for 12 mins?

Just him trying not to cry?

Sure sounds like a committed keeper

@confuseddotcom201

You barely know the man.

Everyone has told you that you have not carried out appropriate safeguarding for your children.

Everyone.

This is a casual, short term relationship.

Most would not let a strange man near their children until 8-12 months minimum of a serious relationship.

He sounds pretty messed up and still in love with his ex.

So no, you’re not the person he is in love with on two counts; 4m/8 meetings is not enough time and you aren’t her.

Sort your shit out and get some self worth.

Everyone has given you extremely sound advice to prioritise the safety and financial security of your family and to look for someone better who is emotionally available to you.

If you carry on in this mess you are going to be a single mother of 5.

Stop this wreckless behaviour of crap relationships and single motherhood.

YOU deserve better.

So that's what you took out of what every single PP has said? Not anything about THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN, losing money (unless you commit benefit fraud, which wouldn't surprise me at this stage. You could try the excuse of playing dumb... might work for you). You just do not give a flying fuck about your kids. Face it. It's all me, me, me and then it's about a man who only wants you because he stupidly got caught cheating with you.

Get some self respect and don't bring your kids into this shitshow.

He still wants her.

Wake up.

@confuseddotcom201

He also decided to call and tell her a whole heap of stuff emotionally down the phone. Which would contradict what he’s told you.

I’m sorry but everyone has told you you are flogging a dead horse here, it is not going to run.

And the whole thing is a thoroughly bad idea.

I know the last couple of months with her were hard.

I imagine they were, what with him spending those couple of months talking to you while he pretended she was just his mate...

@confuseddotcom201 he TOLD you he wants to be with you. big difference. you are delusional. you have not been together a year and you're already insecure, unsure, unhappy and jealous of the ex.

That doesn’t mean you have to settle for a man who’s keeping you around as “you’ll do” until he can get back with the woman he really wants. Look for a man who puts you first, not one who sees you a second choice.

you deserve better.

it’s better to be single than be with the wrong man.