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AIBU?

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He called his ex when drunk

404 replies

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 11:44

My partner went out and had a few too many.
When he got home I heard him on the phone telling someone he thought of them every single day.
He also said he missed them and something about a holiday.
I snooped on his phone this morning and it was his ex.
Aibu to think he still has feelings for her? They split properly 4 months ago but I think things were rocky for a bit before that.

OP posts:
5128gap · 07/05/2023 22:19

So, we have a man, pushing 60, who hangs out with other old men in small town night spots until 2am, getting so drunk he has no control of himself or memory of his actions?
On the plus side OP, I think its probably safe to say you won't be fighting off any competition.

BeverlyHa · 07/05/2023 21:39

BranchGold · Yesterday 12:01
Ha, I bet it makes financial sense for him to move in. Honestly, read that back to yourself. He wants you to subsidise him while he’s emotionally invested in his ex. Are you not embarrassed??

this is sad and the ladies posting, are right. This is no good and he loves the previous girlfriend

Bubblyb00b · 07/05/2023 21:35

so wait, this guy is nearly 60, with nothing to his name as his ex kicked him out; cant even afford to rent his own place! you are about 20 years younger, with 4 kids, one SEN, on benefits, naïve, desperate and trusting despite his apparent love for his ex and his lovely lifestyle I assume his ex provided (since he is unable to have it on his own). this really cant be real; such a massive cliché on top of another massive cliché.

CrazyHedgehogLover · 07/05/2023 21:17

Ditch him, he was caught out. Put it this way if you didn’t hear him, he’d of hid the fact he did it and lied to you, he’s not sorry because he means it, he’s sorry he got caught out.

he obviously is still in love with her, he may have some feelings for you but a relationship built on lies (clearly he does this a lot) will not work.

he originally told you she was just a friend? Why are you with this man? He lied to you from day one and was pretty much cheating on her with you. He is a shit in my eyes!

please don’t let this man move in with you, your children should come first, I know you say they love him but in all fairness why would you encourage your children to have a relationship with someone who is clearly pining for his ex and has openly said she is all he thinks about? I wouldn’t let my children anywhere near a man like this! It has red flags wrote all over it.

you deserve better and you will find better! I’d be holding the door wide open for this man and telling him to fuck off back where he came from.

randomuser2019 · 07/05/2023 21:00

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Merryoldgoat · 07/05/2023 20:58

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:36

Why are people calling me a troll

Because it’s unbelievable that an adult woman with 4 children could be so naive and make such poor choices and refuse to engage with anyone talking any sense.

If you aren’t a troll then get your shit together.

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:36

Why are people calling me a troll

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:06

I'm not a troll

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:05

He will retire in 10 years

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:05

I know it sounds bad.

OP posts:
Blablablanamechangagain · 07/05/2023 20:04

Nice drip feed,

A man about to retire who cant afford to live on his own so shacks up with desperate single mum.

Got Daily Fail written all over it. I wish I had something better to do than feed the troll but, here we are.

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:03

He could stay with his mother

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 20:02

He's 57

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 07/05/2023 20:01

How old is he?

Robinni · 07/05/2023 20:00

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:14

He doesn't want to be on his own when he's older.

And you don’t want to be his carer whenever you’ve got 4 children already……

Man oh man. What a drip feed.

I don’t have time to look at this properly…. but seriously this is just disastrous.

And can’t he stay with one of his relatives rather than cocklodging with you…..

He’s nearly an old man. You are in your 40s.

And you come across as a 21yo bored Uni student on a wind up mission. Which is why people think it’s fake.

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:55

That's why he won't go back. He was insecure in their relationship

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:53

He thought she was cheating. I've seen pictures of her. He was definitely punching. I think he felt insecure with her

OP posts:
Tandora · 07/05/2023 19:52

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:35

Does the drunk phone call really mean he wants her.
He doesn't remember it.

Yes , he wouldn’t have called her when drunk and told her that if he wasn’t pining after her. He also wouldn’t spend the 2 days he sees you a month, going out drinking, drunk dialling his ex, and sleeping all the next day. You two have only been dating 4 months, you should be in the honeymoon phase, if he were really into you and the relationship , he wouldn’t be doing these things. Sorry OP.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 07/05/2023 19:50

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 20:44

I know I sound stupid and repetitive but if he wanted her why risk that to talk to me in the first place

You don't just sound stupid, you're an absolute idiot, IF this is true (which I don't believe it is).

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:48

He's really not a shit.
I know that's hard to understand. He is a lovely person. He makes me feel so good.

OP posts:
Blablablanamechangagain · 07/05/2023 19:46

Bloody give it a rest

He's a shit.

You won't leave him though cause you're too desperate for attention to have standards.

Done
Next!

confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:37

We message every day. Why would he think of her? I don't really understand

OP posts:
confuseddotcom201 · 07/05/2023 19:35

Does the drunk phone call really mean he wants her.
He doesn't remember it.

OP posts:
Milkand2sugarsplease · 07/05/2023 19:28

He's cocked it up with his ex, she's kicked him into touch. He now can't afford/doesn't want to pay for his life where he is so he wants to return to his hometown with family and friends. You're convenient to him and offering him a place to stay that's cheaper than going it alone.

He'll do TO you you what he did to his ex WITH you!! Don't let him, raise your bar x

Tandora · 07/05/2023 19:28

Bless you OP, I think you are getting a hard time on here. It’s so hard 😔. I have to agree with the others though that this man is not committed as you think he is. Maybe if you are not ready to let go you could keep casually dating and see how it goes? Please do not move him in with your children x

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