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AIBU?

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Original poster

He called his ex when drunk

404 replies

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 11:44

My partner went out and had a few too many.
When he got home I heard him on the phone telling someone he thought of them every single day.
He also said he missed them and something about a holiday.
I snooped on his phone this morning and it was his ex.
Aibu to think he still has feelings for her? They split properly 4 months ago but I think things were rocky for a bit before that.

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 06/05/2023 12:30

I have never drunk-dialled an ex I was truly over. Plenty of times for the ones I was still pining over.

This is not a solid relationship no matter how long you've known each other. Dial it all the way back. Date. Get to know each other as boyfriend/girlfriend before you even THINK about moving in together. Things you can brush off in a friend will land differently as a partner.

trevthecat · 06/05/2023 12:28

But you are not good together! You were the other woman and now he's calling his ex saying he misses her.

Have some self respect

Motnight · 06/05/2023 12:28

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:26

I've actually known him over a year and he'd met my kids before. I am friends with his brother.
I know it seems quick but we're good together. Or that's what I thought until I heard him on the phone. He was trying not to cry when he was talking to her.

Come on, Op. You worth more than becoming a convenient financial arrangement for him.

He still loves his ex.

XBealtaine · 06/05/2023 12:28

He was with somebody else 4 months ago, so he's not a partner at this point. That's all I'd say. It is a new relationship and with new relationships you don't know if it's another heartbreak or a partner to be.

randomusername2020 · 06/05/2023 12:27

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:26

I've actually known him over a year and he'd met my kids before. I am friends with his brother.
I know it seems quick but we're good together. Or that's what I thought until I heard him on the phone. He was trying not to cry when he was talking to her.

OP posts:
TashaG · 06/05/2023 12:26

Introduced to kids and moving in after 4 months and a handful of dates 🙈

randomusername2020 · 06/05/2023 12:25

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

DeflatedAgain · 06/05/2023 12:25

I'm calling BS on this post.

There's no way this is real.

randomusername2020 · 06/05/2023 12:25

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

FuckKnowsMate · 06/05/2023 12:24

You stupid stupid woman. I’m sorry but it fucking baffles. Seriously, grow up. Don’t care if that’s harsh.

AperolWhore · 06/05/2023 12:24

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:22

I do have children. He's really good with them. That's why I think he's not using me as he's happy to take my kids on.

@confuseddotcom201 hes met your children already?! What on earth are you doing! Protect yourself and your children and do not let this man move in.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 06/05/2023 12:23

How many times have you actually met him?

Darkroot · 06/05/2023 12:23

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:22

I do have children. He's really good with them. That's why I think he's not using me as he's happy to take my kids on.

Good god 😫

Utterly ridiculous. Grow up.

trevthecat · 06/05/2023 12:23

4 months in, long distance and he's already involved with your kids and looking to move in with them?! Are you mad?

ChocHotolate · 06/05/2023 12:23

You see him once or twice a month due to distance and have been together for 4 months. So you've seen him no more than 8 times since you have been "official" and you are planning to have him move in?

OhComeOnFFS · 06/05/2023 12:22

Arrrgh you're going to let some bloke move in with you and your kids because it's better financially?

ARE YOU INSANE?

Original poster
confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:22

I do have children. He's really good with them. That's why I think he's not using me as he's happy to take my kids on.

OP posts:
Darkroot · 06/05/2023 12:19

Oh dear.
The truth comes out after a few drinks.

Doesn’t sound like he’s your ‘partner’ anyway. You’ve been talking for six months (for two of those he was in a relationship, no wonder it was rocky 🙄) and you’re long distance?
I wouldn’t waste my time personally.

VirginiaQ · 06/05/2023 12:19

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:05

But what if it was a drunken mistake? I don't want to lose him over something he did after a few drinks. He genuinely a lovely guy who treats me so well.

In vino veritas.

Original poster
confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:19

Definitely no secret holiday. She won't talk to him.
I think he was talking about one she cancelled.
Do you really think he's using me?
When I'm with him I don't feel used.

OP posts:
BranchGold · 06/05/2023 12:19

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:15

Tbh we've been talking for 6 months but didn't get together until he split with her. I know it sounds bad.

I guess that answers the question of if you’re an embarrassed fool or not then doesn’t it.

Good luck to you, it started as a shit show and it looks like it’s set to continue in the same manner. I hope it’s only yourself that’s caught up with this drama and there are no children involved.

DeflatedAgain · 06/05/2023 12:16

confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:15

Tbh we've been talking for 6 months but didn't get together until he split with her. I know it sounds bad.

You sound perfect for one another tbh

C2190 · 06/05/2023 12:16

Drunk or not, he still called his ex, telling her he thinks about her every day and possibly a secret holiday on the cards too....wake up OP, he's taking you for a MUG

Original poster
confuseddotcom201 · 06/05/2023 12:15

Tbh we've been talking for 6 months but didn't get together until he split with her. I know it sounds bad.

OP posts: