He called his ex when drunk

Throw this one back OP.

He’s obviously not over her and you’re going to be the one that gets hurt.

The fact that she was speaking to him on the phone about this (I assume late at night too) means she obviously has feelings too.

You only see him twice a month and on one of these occasions he rings his ex? I wonder what he does when you’re not together.

Red flags and take heed of them. You only see him twice a month and he is ringing his ex when has a few drinks and telling her he thinks of her and misses her. Have more self belief in yourself and move on from him as this is not a good start to any relationship and you can be sure it is not the first time he has been ringing her. Set your standards higher and do not even think about having him move in as far too soon and he is chatting to his ex.

Well of course you're feeling insecure. Anyone would be after hearing that!

Being drunk lowers your inhibitions. What that means is it makes you less likely to think through the consequences of your actions and more likely to do something your logical brain would usually tell you not to. What being drunk doesn’t do is magic up feelings that aren’t already there.

Your ex still has feelings for his ex, he probably wishes he could call her and tell her how he feels all the time and a part of him wants to get back with her. When he’s sober the logical part of his brain is able to tell himself it’s over for a reason, that she won’t be interested in getting back together, that calling her would be a mistake. When he’s drunk he loses that ability to think logically, his existing feelings take over and he can’t resist calling her.

It may have been a drunken mistake on his part to call her, but the feelings weren’t created by being drunk. All being drunk did was lower his inhibitions enough for him to act on the feelings that are there all the time but which he can ignore when he’s sober. If he still has feelings for his ex then you can bet every time he’s drunk and his inhibitions are lowered he’ll be reaching out to her, you can also guarantee a part of him still wants to sleep with her and whilst sober him may not Perdue him drunk him almost certainly will.

Four months is too soon, he’s clearly not over his ex and still has feelings for her, he’s just better at hiding this when he’s sober than when he’s drunk. He’s not ready to be in a relationship and he’s certainly not ready to commit himself fully to you when he’s still thinking of his ex every day and when a part of him is still hoping maybe he can get back with her.

He may have feelings for you, but those feelings could entirely be ‘will do in lieu of a better option’.

it doesn’t read like he’s chosen you, rather you were the one he was left with when his ex removed herself.

It sounds like you're the rebound relationship OP.

He's a boyfriend you've been with a few months.
His ex refuses to speak with him.
He's calling her saying he misses her.
You're moving him in.
You have kids.

So much of this is wrong and will only lead to drama. The drama has started.

This isn't love, I assure you.

So you’ve known him a while? Is it a case of you’ve held a torch for him, made your move when you knew his relationship was rocky, and now you’ve ‘won’ him (she kicked him out, most likely) you don’t want to lose him, despite the fact the one he wants is his ex.

If she wanted him back you know he’d be gone like a shot, OP.

You’ve been with him for fewer than 4 months and you don’t live together - he’s not your partner, he’s your boyfriend….but he ought to be your ex-boyfriend.

Op are you nuts!!! Thinking of having him move in soon on the four month mark,for christ sake don't do it.

Well given what he told her, I think you'd be a fool to think anything other than he's into her still. He couldn't make it any clearer really.

Time to move on.

Well it would be him ruining it over a drunken mistake, not you. You would be showing him that you won't accept shitty behaviour.

It's perfectly reasonable to think he also has feelings for you. But are you happy to be with someone who still has feelings for someone else?

There's a nice way to phrase things

He split with his ex 4 months ago and you only see each once or twice a month?! He's not your partner, at best he's your boyfriend! After that short amount of time, yes he probably is still thinking about her. You are a rebound. Protect yourself.

What has he said about it?

He’s broken up with one woman and now needs somewhere new to live so you’re the new target. By all means have a relationship with him if you’d like, but I’d tell him to get his own place- I bet if you’d do that you’ll find all of a sudden you’re not worth having a relationship with

Tell me about it 😂

I'll hang around for the deletion message haha

Yeah I'm calling bs too now. Thr kids were the kicker, there's no way this real.

You say he split with his partner x4 months ago and you see him once or twice a month. How many times have you actually seen him?! Yet you’re calling him your partner and on about him moving in, while he’s calling his ex while drunk. How old are you?