Is this morally wrong?

You obviously do feel a bit uncomfortable about this otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. Why not raise it with your mate in a 'you'll never guess who propositioned me' kind of way and gauge his reaction from that?

It's not unheard of that casual FWB can develop into full blown relationships. Just bear that in mind.

Also, I've been that woman randomly approaching men for sex. Whilst I can't speak for her I've never done that when in a good place mental health wise and I would proceed with caution.

I would never do this to a friend unless I wasn’t bothered at all about the friendship. Aside from the fact that I feel a natural taboo about friends’ exes (it feels incestuous), it would definitely feel like a betrayal even if they said they were ok with it.

I don't agree, there are certain universally held standards by which people live and shagging a friend's ex fits into that category. It shows a lack of moral fibre and judgement. Nobody will die, it doesn't break the law of the land but it's a shitty thing to do.

Plus coming on a forum and trying to get endorsement to let oneself off the hook from doing the right thing is the icing on the cake.

If you are as attractive as you say (think) you are, you wouldn't need to reduce yourself to have sex with one of your mate's exes. You are thinking with the wrong head their dude.

It may not be morally wrong but ethically?

I think she wants to hurt her ex for some reason and seems to think you are dumb enough to fall for it. If you even think she won't "tell" the ex or let it slip in some way, shape or form, I have a beautiful bridge across the Atlantic for you. Or some oceanfront property in Sheffield. smdh

I think you are still wondering about that, so you have thought and asked this question, you can completely answer it. Do what you think is right

It's funny that as teenagers, it's faurly normal that boy and girls will go out with more than 1 person in the group, but in adulthood you can't even think about seeing your mate's ex.

That's because teenagers have more limited social circles and are still learning to navigate social environments (in part by dating people who are understood to be 'safe' through already being part of their social group) and b) teenage relationships are generally less serious than adult relationships (we are talking about the mother of his mate's kids!).

Adults are far more independent than teenagers and have access to a vast range of different potential partners. There's no need to go rustling through your mates' back catalogues.

I am fairly good friends with a guy, our kids play together

Don't go there.

You want to ruin a good thing for a shag with his ex and their mother?!

You sound self-absorbed, waving your willy around being more important than your children's welfare. You are also disrespecting a guy you call a friend.

It may be 8 years since they split up but it's still crossing a line.

I heard people go on dating sites nowadays to find love. You could meet the love of your life!

No it isn't wrong OP
Fill your boots
How is it wrong 8 years after they've split up?

Your ex’s friend? Fine. Your friend’s ex? Not fine.

I think you need to ask yourself if you're bothered if it's morally wrong according to the majority of people or if you don't really care.
You're the one who has to live with it. So really the only question is - can you live with any consequences of this?

Is this guy even your mate!!?

if so ffs get a grip, put your cock back in your pants and give your head a wobble..

It concerns me that you even need to ask 😬

Mate, you're an idiot being played and she's a headfucker. She didn't just "randomly" find you on instagram, coincidentally her ex's good friend.

It's funny that as teenagers, it's faurly normal that boy and girls will go out with more than 1 person in the group, but in adulthood you can't even think about seeing your mate's ex.

Having said that, there is an unwritten rule about not seeing someone your mate likes, let alone their ex so yiu maintain your friendship. I wouldn't go there esp if it's just sex - high risk low reward.

If she's messaging you, there must be others who find you attractive that are better options.

If the friendship with this other dad is totally expendable then go for it.

Obviously you're convinced but you only have her word for it that it would be nothing more. These things always have the potential for fall-out.

If you had both just met at a bar & had an instant mutual attraction I could well believe she just fancied a hook up. But it's not that straightforward.

As others have said, I'd be questioning her motives.

Do tell us again how this really attractive woman wants to have sex with you. I didn’t quite catch it the first sixth time.

Yeah, beautiful women often add random men on social media and then proposition them for no-strings sex. It's definitely just pure coincidence that this particular one happened to be your mate's ex and if you meet up with her she will most certainly just want a night or two of passion and then slink off into the night without causing any drama whatsoever. Happens all the time in pornos.

Well I guess it’s how important your friend is to you. He might not take it very well at all.

Either tell him and gauge his reaction or leave well alone.

I think this is a relatively easy to answer

1. it depends on how good of a friend he is
2. if he is a good friend, and you are prepared to consider your friendship and that means more to you then 3) ask him about it and go explain he might be uncomfortable but his ex has msged him
3. prepare that he may find out anyway and there is a chance she is doing it to spite him - who ended it with who?
4. he really might not care.. after 8 years
5. bare in mind this is the mother of his kids; not an ex gf.

good luck!

Let her have it, life's too short.

*years lol

Do you really think a woman is going to randomly message you and tell you she wants to have sex with you?

Its different if you were friends with them as a couple and she always had a thing for you but as you say you weren’t.

They separated 8 hours ago and now she all of a sudden messages you saying she wants sex.

Have you ever event met?

Sorry OP you are being a bit naive here.

@CheekyHobson I realise it's very tempting to think that you are so incredibly attractive as to be her number one choice for casual sex but the far, far more likely truth is that there's something somewhat screwy about the whole thing and it's best to leave it if for no reason other than that it has potential to blow up your friendship with your mate

EXACTLY this

Not sure why it's so hard to believe that a woman may proposition me for sex. She said she had found me attractive for a while but I had a partner etc wasn't the right time.

Can't speak for everyone here but thinking about myself and my pretty liberated friend group, it would be still highly unusual for any woman I know to add one of their exes' friends on Instagram in order to proposition them for casual sex, unless they were acting out in some way.

Attractive women are rarely so hard-up for male attention that they have to go out and drum it up for themselves, especially not in this dating app-rich world.

I realise it's very tempting to think that you are so incredibly attractive as to be her number one choice for casual sex but the far, far more likely truth is that there's something somewhat screwy about the whole thing and it's best to leave it if for no reason other than that it has potential to blow up your friendship with your mate.

She says she's not going to tell your ex but do you have any reason to trust her on that other than wanting it to be true?

So your friend’s ex, who you have never met before, added you to instagram out of the blue and started sending you sexual messages? Yeah. Cool story bro.