House Guests

Definitely this. Personally I'm Team Dog, but your guests are well out of line in assuming that this is OK.

I have a cat and no way would I have someone bring a dog into OUR home. It doesn't matter what type of dog. I wouldn't have dog in crate either, not nice for dog.
I would just say no as I have a cat in the house. Simple.

Sent your guests the names and addresses of some local kennels, where they could keep their dog while visiting. Tell them their dog is not welcome.

How did it go?

I have dogs, I wouldn’t dream of taking them to someone’s house, when we go to my mum and dads they either stay in the car or are tied to the garden bench after a walk so they don’t need the loo

It would be cruel to your cat. Be strong for your cat if you can’t be strong for yourself. A crate wouldn’t work. They’d convince you to have it roam the house. For cats sake say no. (perhaps if you’re too timid, say you’ve asked the vets advice)
This is grown/up stuff.
Good luck!

Total CF’s! I have a dog, who I love to pieces, but I would never dream of bringing him to stay at someone’s house unless they specifically offered. I wouldn’t even ask! The CF’ery threads I read on MN and people’s willingness to accommodate said CF’ery never ceases to amaze me.

Did they show up with the dog or without or not at all???

Come on @TheSlowRush - don't leave us hanging like this 😄

Can someone link to the cultural norms in the UK thread please? 🙏

You're capable of saying sorry you can't bring the dog because of the cats.

I really have very little sympathy with you OP to be be honest. You had the opportunity to say NO, and didn't 🤷‍♀️

Yes, your guests were rude to assume it was ok, but you need to assert yourself. It's really not difficult!

Tell them no. Our cat ran away when my sisters dog barked and went for her when they visited us. We never saw her again. Heartbreaking.

Rude. I'd say sorry, no that's not going to work. CFers!

Seriously, even if they get a crate, say no.

As PP said up thread, if the dog is not crate trained to chill in their crate happily, wherever they are, then this will be a nightmare for everyone (including the poor bloody dog).

Even if the dog WAS crate trained though, bringing a strange dog into a house with cats who are not dog-savvy/dog-friendly is a horrible idea. You'll have cats pissing all over in distress or disappearing either into hiding in the house or out for hours/overnight.

If you can't stand up for yourself and be rude on your own behalf, then please do so for your cats!

My friend has two 5 month old puppies and asked if she could stay with them.

What the actual fuck is the matter with people?

This is one of those annoying posts.
OP says something that she knows would set everyone off.
Everyone is repeating the same thing whilst the OP comes back to say some vague answer to some unimportant questions.
Sigh

Hi guys, coming back to this if you don’t have a crate you can’t bring your dog in the house. It won’t work with my cats and I won’t do that to them. I know it’s late notice but I didn’t know you were thinking of bringing your dog. Let me know if you are still coming, would be nice to see you!

Nope. They wouldn't be doing this to me.

Not fair on your cats. Just refuse to have the dog.

Perhaps it was this weekend they were coming and bringing Fido. She might be busy trying to save her cats from going crazy and wondering why she didn't say "No" before they all landed on her doorstep.

You need to tell them no. Not only are they rude to just TELL you they are bringing a dog with them but the "no crate" makes it even a bigger "NO".

Be blunt. If that upsets them, it's on them to assume something that I am betting they knew you would not like. By trying to steamroll you first, they are hoping to get away with it.

Your house, your rules, no exceptions.

Depends on the nature of your relationship, their setup, whether you invited then or they invited themselves, etc, but if you feel strongly about it, tell them not us! 😏. I have two dogs and none of my friends would invite me to stay at theirs without an expectation that my dogs would come too...

I get it’s sometimes hard to say no but it’s totally fine to just send a message saying actually on reflection it’s not going to work for you and it would be irresponsible/ inconvenient for you to have to inflict a dog on your cats. Any normal people would rearrange for a date without the dogs/ leave them with a sitter etc.

It’s your home and your boundaries that need respecting here, if not for yourself for your cats tbh who will be the ones suffering the consequences of silence. I’m actually gobsmacked they didn’t back down/ take the hint when you mentioned the crate?

Don’t mention anything about a crate. If a dog hasn’t been properly crate trained, they’ll likely spend all their time crying and kicking off about being in there, as they haven’t been taught to see it and use it as their safe space.

You just need to say that when the plans were made for them to visit, there was no discussion about the dog. As you have your two cats, you aren’t able to have the dog stay at the house, so they can either make arrangements for the dog to stay elsewhere nearby/for it to be left at home with a pet sitter or if they are going to struggle to sort that in time, you’re more than happy to rearrange their visit so they’ll have plenty of time to sort out care plans for the dog.

If you’re feeling particularly kind, you could look into some dog kennels/home boarders local to you, so you could share the recommendations when you tell them they can’t bring the dog to your house.

“Sorry - that doesn’t work with my cats. I wish you’d mentioned it to me. You’ll need to find a dog sitter.”

NO. It’s your home. Their dog is their problem. How dare they invite a dog without asking you, the homeowner, if that’s acceptable? I have two dogs and would never be such a CF. Come on, OP. Stand up for yourself.

Now I'm a dog person, but I would never just say I'm bringing my dog! I definitely wouldn't be putting my cats out either! I'd be saying the dog needs to go into kennels or they need to stay somewhere that is dog friendly!