Did I say something wrong?

She's clearly easily offended but it is possibly a sore subject for her. I do think you're in the wrong for assuming that just because she is in young and in a HCA role that she must be in training for a 'better' more qualified job. Even if it's not what you meant, your words implied that being a HCA with no other career ambitions is not good enough for someone her age.

Well fuck me, even after all of these replies you come back to reinforce that she is bottom of the ladder. Unbelievable.

I reckon she had you sussed from the off.

Unfortunate but I think it just touched a nerve OP. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

She is right that not everyone wants or is able to progress at a given thing and I imagine it must feel belittling if you perhaps might want but aren't able to (circumstances, lack of relevant access qualifications etc). Ultimately she might just want to be a HCA and felt you thought it was a lesser role - either way it's her own issue. Lesson learned for next time to not take that route though.

That's how I would have taken it too, and I'm not easily offended.

This is an easy one. You were the rude one for your first assumption to be she just can't be content with being an HCA. Snobby really

What’s a TNA?

She was spikey. But you did kind of imply the job she does is only a stepping stone and not good enough. So it's quite thoughtless,id hope as somone who deals with lots of people you would understand this.

I'm a TNA and I would think that was a perfectly normal question you were asking!

There's an implicit assumption in the question that it's not a job in itself, merely a stepping stone.

I can see why she was a bit pissed off if that was your opening gambit

She was rude but as a HCA of 15 years I've been asked this loads and sometimes it does grate - sometimes feel like it's asking why would you 'just' work as a hca when actually it's a very important role. I sometimes feel we're seen as right at the bottom of the healthcare ladder, even though I deal with things that nurses can't. We're even classed as unqualified on rotas 😅

Lots of people on here op that would get offended in the most polite of conversations.
You did nothing wrong. She was rude.

You implied that her job wasn’t good enough and that yours, as a nurse, was better than hers and what she should aspire to.

you were rude

There's many Nurses/Doctors etc who massively undervalue HCAs. Why would you make that assumption? It's a perfectly valid choice to work as a HCA and it's better for service users of we have people who stay in that job role. Look at the posters who have immediately assumed that she couldn't get into Nursing. Being a HCA means that you often see the patient from start to finish and are more hands on. You get to offer practical and emotional support. You've inadvertently put her role down by suggesting that it isn't good enough long term. You've been clumsy in your attempt at conversation.

said “oh it’s just that a lot of people train to be a nurse whilst working as a HCA, I thought maybe that was what you were doing”

Nah, you know there are a lot of people who work as an HCA without training to be a nurse. You were definitely implying that HCA wasn’t good enough.

Why didn’t you simply ask if she was enjoying it if you wanted to make conversation? You are a community nurse without great communication skills, especially if you have to ask on here did I say something wrong. 🙄

Where did OP say there was anything wrong with being a HCA?

You were rude. What is wrong with her being a HCA?

I’d not be making the effort with her again. Polite and professional and that’s it.

She took it as you saying being a HCA isn't good enough and is only something people do to become a nurse. I made the same mistake when I asked a TA if she was thinking of applying for teacher training in the future. She was very offended and explained why.

Yeah this!!

In my book you were subtly insulting her by saying that she was in a job where she she would obviously be wanting to move up to a different one. And it's not as though you knew her well.

A question about if she was local, for example, would have been more appropriate.

I'd be offended too.

Yes I agree with this.

Her response was unnecessarily abrasive but your assumption sounded dismissive of the valuable job she does.

I have a couple of friends who do incredible jobs in care homes. I couldn't in a million years do what they do, they are amazing. But they are continually met with the attitude that they are 'just carers' like it's easy and doesn't matter. My guess is your colleague has come up against that similar attitude before and is sick and tired of it.

I think that you were just trying to make conversation and show interest in her. Whatever the reasons for her reaction may have been it, it was impolite and rude.

I think you were clumsy and she was easily offended but you dont know her back ground, so maybe dont make the assumption next time

It was the implicit assumption that the job she's doing must be a stepping stone to something 'better' that offended her.