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Original poster

Partner puts dog above me

59 replies

Notgotaclue207 · 29/04/2023 12:50

So background I’m heavily pregnant, not exactly going to be able to do much but want some reassurance that I’m not insane. Dog belongs to partner from before our relationship.

Partner:

  • Despite me asking since falling pregnant wont put the dog in the living room to sleep - I don’t want the dog upstairs at night because baby will set dog off and vice versa and I want the dog to not associate the change with the baby.
  • let’s the dog sit on anything in the house including all of my blankets, let’s the dog chew on them and baby’s the dog
  • washes the dogs paws in our FOOD BOWLS when I’ve complained enough about why there is mud trekked around the house and then leaves them outside the house for me to collect up
  • Leaves the dog with me for over half the week and says I can’t leave the dog alone EVER

i love this man and some of this isn’t new but the washing paws in food bowl has driven me completely insane and I’ve stormed out.

am I overreacting? I know the bowl will get washed but I think it’s completely gross.
I feel like I am being completely disrespected.

OP posts:
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TempName247 · 29/04/2023 17:55

I would be very concerned about the safety of the baby if left alone with him and the dog, he won’t keep the dog in a separate room etc

Thesharkradar · 29/04/2023 17:41

I think he is letting you know that the baby will be your problem and his baby will be the dog, furthermore that his 'fur baby' comes above humans, as symbolized by the act of washing it's feet in the food bowls that you eat out of.
He sounds strange & very bad news OP

Shoxfordian · 29/04/2023 17:33

It doesn’t seem like you’re going to be his priority op: did he say anything would change? Why are you with him?

mainsfed · 29/04/2023 17:30

Lefteyetwitch · 29/04/2023 12:58

So when he orders you to stay home with the dog you tell him where to go and leave right?

Was he always this charming?

He is not a man worth loving, he’s a twat.

Thesharkradar · 29/04/2023 17:26

RandomGeocache · 29/04/2023 16:38

I see the unhinged who can’t differentiate between animals and children have arrived.

yep, the dog idiots/didiots are here!

Thesharkradar · 29/04/2023 17:24

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:09

The dog needs to go if you're having a baby. Why would you even consider getting pregnant with a dog in the house.

I agree, this man will make it clear to the dog the it (the dog) comes before the baby, that means your baby isnt safe with the dog around.
This vile man is behaving despicably because you are incapacitated, vulnerable & unable to stop him.
=BAD MAN

NoFall · 29/04/2023 17:20

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SpacePotato · 29/04/2023 17:19

washes the dogs paws in our FOOD BOWLS when I’ve complained enough about why there is mud trekked around the house and then leaves them outside the house for me to collect up

To me this is passive aggressive bullshit.
He's using the food bowls and leaving them for you to pick up because you dared question the muddy paws in the house.

Him also demanding you don't leave the dog alone ever is so fucking controlling.
If he's not there half the week then he needs kennels or a dog sitter. What did he do before he met you?

NoFall · 29/04/2023 17:10

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habbiespond · 29/04/2023 16:49

It was like a light switched when I got pregnant and I seemed to realise how filthy and attention seeking our dog was. It was like innate biology. Finding dog hairs in the cot and when our baby was eating etc, no matter how much we vacuumed! 🤮 and constant attention seeking. It took him shitting in our bedroom for DH to see that I didn't want to have him around our baby. He agreed that we couldn't cope with him and got rid. Don't regret it.

CarrotCake01 · 29/04/2023 16:40

I'm with you tbf OP.
I don't think I'd mind some of that generally speaking but I'd feel like the dog was being seen as the priority if some of that didn't change as the arrival of the baby got closer.

I would say maybe get a specific dog bowl for the paws and you two really need to have a conversation and agree where the dog will be sleeping when baby arrives as you're right, the dog needs to be used to a new sleeping arrangement as early as possible or it may associate the change purely with the baby and get jealous.

Some babies sleep like babies I'm sure. Mine didn't and would wake at the slightest noise and scream for me. (Doors clicking shut, floorboards, tvs in a different room, my body parts popping, me undoing my bra, the list really goes on for me!)

RandomGeocache · 29/04/2023 16:38

I see the unhinged who can’t differentiate between animals and children have arrived.

Saxendastarter · 29/04/2023 16:27

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:22

Getting rid of a dog because you’re having a baby is nasty and unnecessary. Like getting rid of your first born child because a new one has come along.

Show quote history

Are you saying that a dog and a firstborn child are equivalent? And that getting rid of a dog if you have a baby is like getting rid of an older sibling ?

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:25

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:22

Getting rid of a dog because you’re having a baby is nasty and unnecessary. Like getting rid of your first born child because a new one has come along.

Show quote history

It's not a child. It's a dog.

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:22

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:19

Why is putting a child before a dog nasty?

Show quote history

Getting rid of a dog because you’re having a baby is nasty and unnecessary. Like getting rid of your first born child because a new one has come along.

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:19

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:17

Can’t believe there are people living and breathing who are this nasty.

Show quote history

Why is putting a child before a dog nasty?

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:17

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:09

The dog needs to go if you're having a baby. Why would you even consider getting pregnant with a dog in the house.

Can’t believe there are people living and breathing who are this nasty.

Blamunge · 29/04/2023 16:13

YABU to expect him to put his beloved dog to sleep downstairs, when it’s probably slept with him since birth. It won’t work anyway, the dog will just cry. YABU to expect him to stop the dog sitting anywhere, when it’s obviously done this for years. You’re trying to push the dog out in favour of your baby and it’s mean. If you didn’t like his relationship with his dog why did you move in with him in the first place?

kitsuneghost · 29/04/2023 16:09

The dog needs to go if you're having a baby. Why would you even consider getting pregnant with a dog in the house.

wildinthecountry · 29/04/2023 15:21

Oh look another dog thread what a coincidence 🤔

Cosyblankets · 29/04/2023 15:10

Dog owner here of many years. I've never heard of washing dog paws in a food bowl!

Gettingbysomehow · 29/04/2023 14:59

Well I treat my cats like kings and let them sleep on my bed, scratch my furniture etc but I've chosen to stay single because I love my cats more than blokes.
But if he wants to be a dick like this maybe you should take the baby and flip him off. He has zero respect for you and expects you to do all of HIS dog sitting duties, what a flaming cheek.
He won't ever change you realise that? He will dump you with the baby also.

Asiatoyork · 29/04/2023 14:58

Is the dog very old at all? 😉

in all seriousness the sleeping and sofa and chewing would annoy me (not my thing) but expecting you to limit your life to stay in with his dog is the real issue I can see here.

ddd20102010 · 29/04/2023 14:55

OP I am a doglover with children. I currently have one of mine on my knee. I also think you can never completely trust any dog, around babies/small children. I am not at all saying get rid of the dog, just please be aware.

FeltedDogs · 29/04/2023 14:55

Poor dog, I hope when it's inevitably rehomed it ends up in a home where its wanted and not sold on gumtree to fight ringers as so many are.