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Original poster

Nanny issues

40 replies

rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 18:38

I've had a nanny for a couple of months now.

I've been finding her lack of proactiveness a bit disappointing, but I need some advice if it's my fault or if we are a bad fit.

I work from home, which I know can be tricky for nannies. In general,I stay out of the way as much as possible. I only come in during lunch and have lunch with her and my baby and toddler. My toddler goes to nursery 4 days a week, so unless he's ill, he's usually just at home 1 day a week.

There have been some days where I've been around more, because of my work situation too. Sometimes we go out together to the park or soft plays.

The main thing that I'm struggling with is her lack of tidying up after herself / the children and their toys.

I asked her please to tidy their toys ( or get them to tidy ) while the baby naps and also before she goes home and in general too, just to keep on top of it.

At lunch time, she always just sits down and I serve her and the children and do all the tidying up- every time.

She leaves her plates and cups out quite often, which I then also need to tidy away.

I often find that she hasn't changed the babies nappy and I'm uncomfortable to tell her to do it, so when I notice it, I end up doing it myself and she never offers to do it.

I've had nannies in the past, who were very on top of keeping the toys tidy and keeping my babies clean.

I feel like she doesn't understand the basic concept of how you act in a helpful way whilst you're in someone's home / your place of work. I would never allow someone to continually clean up after me.

I'm not expecting her to clean my mess, but she's responsible for the children's mess, while she is looking after them and I often feel it's lacking.

I don't know if it's just a bad fit or if I can somehow talk to her to step it up as bit.

Any advice welcome.

OP posts:
Original poster
rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 21:18

@KoolKidK I only had to ' make a list ' for one of my nannies so far. It worked really well and the nanny then just used her common sense.

I feel like the problems are also caused by my presence maybe. In general I've been trying to keep away as much as possible. I feel like my presence makes her sit back.

Maybe that's the problem then ? If the parent is there, does the nanny automatically check out and just kind of sit there ?

OP posts:
KoolKidK · 28/04/2023 19:34

rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 19:18

@KoolKidK I don't know. It's just a huge effort to get a new one. I had one before who wasn't great at the start and together we managed to turn it around. She needed to learn how to do it.

Okay, so just say then, you want a moan! You said you've had multiple nannies who are capable and at least with one of them you managed to turn it around, even if not more. So you know fully well from your own experiences whether this is working or not in the timeframe she has been there. Put emotion aside and your own (paying) expectations first. If it's taking longer and you don't think it's going to improve, then sack and rehire. You know this. Also wondering if you managed to tur it around with the other nanny(or nannies) then surely this involved speaking to them and telling them what to do so why not the same with this one?

Emotionalstorm · 28/04/2023 19:18

If you need to spell out everything she is not a good nanny. What if you forget to mention something the next time?

Original poster
rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 19:18

@KoolKidK I don't know. It's just a huge effort to get a new one. I had one before who wasn't great at the start and together we managed to turn it around. She needed to learn how to do it.

OP posts:
KoolKidK · 28/04/2023 19:15

rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 19:13

I wonder if she'd even realise that anything is actually lacking or if she just thinks it's completely fine.

Did you just want a moaning thread? Because that is fine and YANBU if you did. But if not, multiple people (including me) have told you what to do: sack her and get a new nanny. You said yourself you have had multiple nannies in the past who were great and capable so why are you still dithering and acting like you don't know what to do?

I8toys · 28/04/2023 19:15

Have you discussed what you want with her? If not that's on you. I'd give her a chance to reticfy and if it doesn't improve then let her go.

Original poster
rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 19:13

I wonder if she'd even realise that anything is actually lacking or if she just thinks it's completely fine.

OP posts:
Emotionalstorm · 28/04/2023 19:08

Get a new nanny. My one is fantastic and even cooks dinner for us and gets breakfast ready in the morning eventhough it wasn't part of her job description.

booblin99 · 28/04/2023 19:04

honestly, get a new nanny. if you’ve asked her to do it and she’s still not listening, you shouldn’t be having to pay her

autienotnaught · 28/04/2023 19:02

You need to speak to her 1:1. Address your concerns and expectations. Give her opportunity to step up. If she continues give notice

Dilemma19 · 28/04/2023 19:01

rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 18:55

The thing is, she sometimes sees how stressed out I am, trying to keep on top of everything and she still doesn't think to just help to tidy up. She just sits with the kids. A bit like a baby sitter.

I had someone exactly like this. Do not waste your time trying and stressing over someone just because you don't have any other option. That's what I ended up doing. You are paying someone to do a job at which they are failing. And she's doing that with you right there.

Original poster
rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 18:55

The thing is, she sometimes sees how stressed out I am, trying to keep on top of everything and she still doesn't think to just help to tidy up. She just sits with the kids. A bit like a baby sitter.

OP posts:
Dilemma19 · 28/04/2023 18:51

Yanbu, I've had an awful experience recently and I think it's best to address it rather than let it build up. This nanny seems to not be a good one, so would be pointless even discussing it. She's like this with you there, so you wouldn't want her in charge of your kids without you there. I would definitely sack her and look for someone with actual nanny qualities.

Original poster
rainbowuni · 28/04/2023 18:49

KoolKidK · 28/04/2023 18:46

Any advice welcome.

Sack her.

I've had nannies in the past, who were very on top of keeping the toys tidy and keeping my babies clean.

Hire that type of nanny.

My first ever nappy would always tidy and sort their toys every single day and during nap time again. She put the toys on rotation for them and always lined them up in a really cute way before she went home. She'd also clean them often too.

We moved, but she was really helpful.

OP posts:
KoolKidK · 28/04/2023 18:46

Any advice welcome.

Sack her.

I've had nannies in the past, who were very on top of keeping the toys tidy and keeping my babies clean.

Hire that type of nanny.

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