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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in the wrong?

32 replies

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 27/04/2023 15:25

Interviews. 2 internal candidates.

I interviewed both on the same day and fed back to my manager a very brief, one did really well and whilst the other also did well it all felt very staged/scripted and that she wouldn't be successful this time.

Unbeknownst to me this individual as an assistant has access to my managers emails. Purely for when she is on leave/sick she can monitor emails and forward on. This person saw my email and read it even though my manager was on duty.

For personal reasons I wasn't in today and my manager called to say that the candidate pulled her aside today and was sobbing over the fact that she found out the way she did and that I was incredibly blunt, rude and unprofessional in my feedback.

I am of course mortified that she saw the email, but it wasn't HER feedback and would not have presented it to her in the same way to her.

I have messaged her to convey how sorry I was and that we would sit down tomorrow and I would give her the proper feedback I intended to, but the more and more I think about it I'm really angry.

It was not her email to read yet I am being made to feel absolutely awful and that I was completely in the wrong.

Was I?

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 27/04/2023 15:36

This is down to your manager to deal with, not you

ihad people cover my emails, however when I am back from holiday they are removed. Additionally I would challenge your manager as to why she was looking at their emails when they were in, and what other confidential information has she been privy to

WateryDoom · 27/04/2023 15:34

I would have said calmly, "This utterly unprofessional behaviour - reading an email that wasn't intended for you and then sobbing about it - demonstrates amply why you were not considered to be suitable for the job you interviewed for".

I'd also be speaking to her manager about the fact that I expected this person to be given clear guidelines about what she does with confidential information she accesses, as she clearly has no idea of professional workplace boundaries.

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 27/04/2023 15:33

Yes, it's very clear. She would have no reason to access her emails when in.

I get on with the person really really well which makes it even harder. I'm sitting here feeling physically sick. My stomach is in absolute knots.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 27/04/2023 15:28

I would stop apologising and question why this person was reading someone else's emails.

Looks like you dodged a bullet there.

She shouldn't have read the emails and then shouldn't have made such a fuss about it either. She should be disciplined for reading them surely?

I assume it is very clear that she is only to read them when the manager is off??

Erex · 27/04/2023 15:28

No, surely your manager's first question should have been "why are you accessing my emails when I'm in?". You didn't do anything wrong, the candidate did.

StaySpicy · 27/04/2023 15:27

No. She had the privilege of being able to access emails for a different reason and chose to open one that presumably would have clearly been marked about the interviews.

She should have waited to hear back through official channels. This is on her for opening the email.

steff13 · 27/04/2023 15:27

No. I can't believe she isn't in trouble for reading that email.

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