Would this cause a problem in your house

YANBU, especially as it's only a 2 night break, half a day is a substantial part of the trip.

Had it been a two week trip, I'd wait.

YANBU. Does he have control issues?

Is there more to it in that a weekend away with his ILs doesn't really appeal? Is he just tagging along because it's something you want to do?

My ex DH when we were married took the kids to a caravan holiday a day (might have been 2) ahead of me. It was fine. The caravan was booked for the 5 days but I had to attend training on one or two of them (can’t remember it was so long ago). So I went down later. We did take 2 cars but only because he was needing to be able to go out one night to attend something else while there and come back a day later from that. It wasn’t to do with not booking the correct annual leave (I’m a teacher and we can’t book annual leave and this was a training inset day type thing which I had to attend but the holiday was booked to coincide with both our holiday week and family in another county.

If it was a full on family holiday abroad with flights it would never have happened.

I agree. On a family holiday, the kids' enjoyment should be prioritised by both parents.

What is best on a holiday with kids is what's nicest for the kids. In this case it's an extra few hours on the holiday instead of sitting around at home.

You still don't agree, @MysteryBelle ?

Sure.

Considering it selfish that one parent wants to make their family wait several hours in the house for them when they could be at the seaside is not even close to hating men. Nor is my comment in any way malicious or based on a poor relationship (I'm in a happy one) Nice try, but there's is no misandry to see here. False alarm. Stand down the troops.😂

YANBU.

My DH is another one who would be absolutely delighted to get out of travelling with the DC. I also sympathise with you about not relying on your DH finishing on time - I've been the mug who relied on that sort of promise and found we were leaving hours late because "I just couldn't get away, how could I just walk out of work?"

You are certainly not being unreasonable. It just makes no sense for you and the children to be sitting around waiting for him when you could be at the seaside.

We do this often. My dh actively encourages it when we are camping so he doesn't have to pitch the tent 😂. I can't see why this makes any difference to your dh.

🙄

I would think the same if it were the wife wanting to travel with husband and children.

Why does everything come down to hating men, apparently he’s an abuser according to another poster, he’s controlling, why does he even have to come, 😂, he needs to be told what’s happening, it’s bizarre, it comes across as you’re projecting your own bad experience with a guy and so all men are evil. He dare he want to travel together on a holiday, throw him into the brig.

Not very logical or intelligent reasoning…full of inexplicable malice in fact.

Some of you certainly need a holiday by yourselves 😀

Probably a longer journey by himself on a Friday afternoon to a seaside resort on a bank holiday, but definitely peaceful. He wants everyone to wait so they can all suffer the traffic together. Twat.

So dh has the choice of a 2 hour journey all together in the car with two kids, or the same journey in peace and quiet by himself, and he'd rather do the former? Definitely something wrong with him.

I wouldn't need to stand my ground, I'd just tell him what was going to happen.

I would love driving down alone!

I would just crack on and go if I were you. Maybe get some beers/a treat he likes in for the break to brighten him up on arrival 😅. Obviously not your job to manage his mood but it's what I would do as a way of smoothing things over while standing my ground...

Especially if it's only a two night trip, I wouldn't be losing half a day of that under any circumstances. Why does he have to go at all, really?

I think it’s fine and I’d tell him he doesn’t need to travel down that day and can have a night to himself.

YANBU, as long as it's easy for him to get there. You shouldn't have to all wait for him. Plus traffic on a Friday afternoon is a fucking nightmare. We all had to wait for DH working Friday am once when I had wanted to get away early and we had a nightmare journey. Never again.

Can't believe that people think its 'nice' he wants to travel with them! A man wanting to be with his wife and children is really not an 'Ah bless him, aren't you lucky' moment that everyone in the family should put themselves out to accommodate. It should be the default. As should putting aside what he wants in the interests of his children.

It’s how you look at it, I guess. I wouldn’t mind waiting because I’d like to travel together. It wouldn’t be a resentful waiting like you’re putting forth. I see it as he is part of the holiday group.

It’s ok to have different views on this, goodness.

If you wait for him and he is delayed you’ll hit some awful bank holiday traffic? Potentially wasting the whole day. Far better to leave early.

No my DH would drive there later on and be happy about it.

Why is your DH upset? Because he misses half a day of a family holiday? Some ‘special’ family time in the car? I mean WTF?

Being brutally honest if this was a trip with the in-laws my DH would probably suggest driving down the following day! And missing the Friday PM traffic. He’d very much enjoy that time alone…

It seems selfish to make you all wait…

Yep. If you give in and wait around all morning for him something could happen at work, or he is so busy he forgets the time, and arrives home even later than planned. Then he will want coffee before he goes, and maybe a sandwich and before you know it another hour will be wasted. Don't let him take your time with your family away from you. He sounds controlling. Does he have form for this type of selfish behaviour?