To not virtually attend this wedding...

Tell her you cannot virtually go but say you need an address for the gift.

Get dolled up. Sit in front of laptop looking full of joy. Get someone to photograph you in your wedding gear looking at laptop. Print out photo, frame it, wrap it beautifully, attach a tag saying ‘so sorry we cannot be there virtually in person.’ Boom! Message well and truly sent.

Would that ruin her day? Does this make me a bad person to even think of it?

Oh, I don’t care, your friend is an entitled cow who doesn’t deserve to have you as a friend.

Jesus fucking Christ the worlds gone mad!

Give them a virtual decline'

I'd assume as it's a virtual invitation, then it's also a virtual present? You can look at this canteen of cutlery* online, but you can't actually see it/ touch it/ use it.... in real life.

*I know these are no longer acceptable as wedding gifts, but I got married many moons ago 😉

Being given the option to watch a wedding ceremony remotely is fine if you are in a different country or not that close to warrant an invitation but it wouldn't be something i would expect to have to RSVP to. I watched a wedding in America of someone I knew when they were a child that was streamed and then the video was available to watch later. I actually watched it afterwards due to time difference. It was nice to be able to see it.
I certainly wasn't asked to buy a present. I'm assuming this type of virtual invitation would only be the ceremony not the reception (except during lockdown as previously mentioned)

Inviting people to attend a wedding remotely is OK. I might be interested to watch weddings of eg friends' children

And bridge & groom may feel closer to the other friends, so it's OK that they invited them but not you (although I can understand why you might be disappointed to realise that)

Asking you to send a gift is really cheeky

Omg that's batshit.

The only time I would ever have entertained doing this would be if it was a couple who married during Covid and had to slash their guest list to 30 people.

Is funny, I have a different take to most people. I'd quite like to watch someone get married online. There's a bunch of people you are not so intimate with that you wouldn't want to travel the country/ dress up/ give up your whole day for.... but that you genuinely care for, wish them well, and are happy to share in their happiness a little.

Also I'm terribly antisocial- being able to see the actual meaningful bit, without leaving my house, and drop off for all the yawn-worthy socialising would suit me down to the ground.

And am I terribly naive to think presents are meant to give the receiver a feeling of pleasure and that you care...not be a contractual swap for dinner and cake? If I'm saving all the expense of going, makes buying a present easier! (Though agree it shouldn't be expected!)

Agree zoom presence at party part is ridiculous, unless you are wizzing round Phil style.

unless professionally done, streamed events are a rubbish. I watched part of my niece’s wedding (during my lunch break!) and they just had a mate doing it on a wobbly camera. Just awful.

This was when travel restrictions were still in place in the UK but not where the wedding was being held. I had a proper invite just couldn’t go so very different situation.

Yes, this made me think about that too! He was wheeling about all over the place, made to look for things in high cupboards etc. You could have some fun by suggesting this, OP.

As long as they too buy a present they'll be fine 😂

I've watched a wedding on-line during COVID, when they were in the 'just 15 people' phase.
It was nice to be able to see the wedding as no-one was able to go, but even in those circumstances it wasn't sent as an invitation. It was the poor couple apologising that no-one was able to go and just letting people know that if anyone wanted to watch it, they would be zooming or facebook Living or whatever it was, and to let them know if anyone wanted the link.
It was also on a Saturday.

Of course YANBU to decline the invitation. It isn't an invitation at all, is it?

I think anyone holding their wedding during the typical working week will always have to expect that some people won't be able to go, and that's when people are actually invited to something. 'Watching remotely' doesn't really cut it whatever day of the week or time of day it is.

I'm afraid it would be piss off with a capital P from me 🤣

Online funeral services are already a thing.
They were, obviously, a lot more commonly used during covid restrictions.
but they’ve been offered before and since covid. They can be useful for family who live abroad or at a great distance, are unable to travel, are committed to be in work and can’t get the full day (but can be given an hour or two), are recovering from medical treatment, etc. I found the covid Ines very difficult, though can see where they may be useful.

I don’t think there is anything wrong having your wedding broadcast online for some guests but I don’t think it should be how you invite someone! I can see it’s usefulness for guests who want to attend but can’t (similar reasons as to above for example) and have asked if there is a way to see it. But not being given an online/virtual invitation only - and expecting a gift, etc!

Total bullshit and grabby, I'd tell this friend (and they need to know they are being a dick) that are you for real you want me to take time off to attend your shitty wedding you can get lost.

My DP once got invited to to the church ceremony, as they wanted to fill all the seats, and the evening.

He was expected to fuck off and kill a few hours whilst the people they actually wanted to invited to their wedding enjoyed them wedding breakfast, and then come back.

They're trying it on ... can invite as many as they like with no cost to them or benefit as they won't even know who's watching ... and get s raft of presents 😂

She's lost her mind

Zoom invites are for people in other countries imho. Height of CFery.

How ridiculous! They sound very entitled.

there were some very elaborate hats which was odd when the wearer was sat in their living room

I bet there were plenty of real-life people dressed like those old-style children's books, where the page was the height of a full-height body and divided into three - so you could have somebody dressed simultaneously as a ballerina, fireman and deep-sea diver!

How surreal must it be to be wearing your most beautiful haute couture hat on your head and nothing but your pants below your waste?!

I'd love to be able to join online.
I had to miss some friends weddings due to bad timing/health issues and being able to just log in and see the ceremony live would be great.

I would go with some small gifts, just to be part of it and done

However, I'd be able to just book an hour off work and replace it later, so it won't require taking anual leave for that.

And if it was a twee poem about basically flinging cash at them for a honeymoon then that is PEAK cheeky fucker territory

I think you should respond with a kind spirit and offer to buy them their honeymoon in full. Then send them a recording of Holiday 94 in Barbados with Judith Chalmers!

For people with no shame, pay-per-view marriages are the perfect way of maximising your wedding-gift takings at very minimal cost. Just pay for one live stream, invite everybody you've ever met and then claim your present from them. It's no fun for them and nobody else will really know or care that they're watching, but they still have to stump up towards your loot haul.

I can see that this is a fantastic Plan B where people live a great distance away, or a very unwell loved one can't travel, Covid etc. - but as a main option, it's breathtakingly cheeky.

Name changed for this as outing.

But I had a Zoom wedding during lockdown. Literally all conducted via Zoom including the ceremony. We had about 70 people on the call and stayed on afterwards for virtual drinks and games. It was ace! Absolutely no expectation for anyone to dress up or provide a gift but some did - there were some very elaborate hats which was odd when the wearer was sat in their living room 😁