Older men expecting you to move

Had a youngster tut at me for walking too slowly up some stairs coming out of a railway station , he sprinted round me so I shouted - just you wait youth you will be like me one day . He just said never , laughed and ran off .

In my experience some men like to take their anger out on women in public when they think they can get away with it. They'd never do it to a man or if the woman is with a man. If they think they can make you cower, they'll do it.

Also stop with the car generalisations. It's inaccurate and annoying. I had to hire a car at the last minute and it was a large 4X4 as that was all they had. Some of the reactions were not pleasant.

I would always meekly move out of the way, now men actually move so they are in my path and I get to play patriarchy chicken. Mid 40's and if they don't see value in my existence I sure as hell see even less value in theirs

Yesss this!! Makes such sense.

It can be decided so quickly too, almost below the level of conscious thinking.

I think it’s what I already do actually, when I think about the people I move aside for without even thinking about it - I would come off better in a collision. It’s just instinctive.

Need to work on holding my course when it’s people who’d come off better than me though 😂

During covid I did readily move out of the way first but this was because I wasn’t too worried about the risk myself and would rather give space early to reassure others I was no threat, and also to avoid the reactions of those who did panic at proximity outdoors

@limitedperiodonly I don't think 'Android Car Park' will be any less confusing.

Real names could be tricky when spoken about, e.g. "I'll meet you in Jane Bloggs," or "I got fined for being in Jane Bloggs too long," or, "I wish to complain to the Council that Jane Bloggs is looking very tatty & uncared-for these days".

I'll stay anonymous, thanks.

You've just described what I do! It's old-fashioned good manners, surely?

@ifIwerenotanandroid hang on a minute. I want to make sure residents can park there free for as long as they like so the name is going to be a problem. We'll name it after you instead.

... or do it several times & expect it to make you laugh &/or talk to them.

One did the multiple this-way-that-way thing to me & it just made me angry. I didn't say anything, just walked away - but he said to me something like, "It won't help, making that sort of a face." WTF? What business is it of yours, you time-wasting tosser?

And yes, only ever men. Never had a woman do it to me.

Not really public spirited, I just want a clear road to drive on! Tell you what, if it happens I'll name it after you, though 'Limited Period Only Car Park' is going to confuse the heck out of people.

I take weird pleasure in deliberating smashing elbows with people who make zero effort to move over. The look of surprise on their faces is priceless.

That particular exaggerated shuffle is exclusive to SOME men, yes.

Lots of people can get in a middle and accidentally step to the same side as each other, but it’s a certain sort of man (and we all know it when we see it) who will deliberately shuffle the way you are going, and laugh about it, to make your life harder.

Had to get that last bit in didnt you. Obviously that behaviour is exclusive to men🙄

Sometimes the space only allows for it to be one person though - such as going through a small gap.

if it’s a standard pavement then yes of course both people can move to respective sides without a big fuss (and not doing that exaggerated shuffle some men do to make a thing of it).

In this situation, I just stop dead where I was walking and look away or at my phone. I do not move aside, if someone has intentionally moved into my path. They are forced to go around.

Whilst in principle I do agree with you. But surely it's just better for every one to show some courtesy to every one . Male and female walking towards each other , they could both move to the side slightly. I dont know,Maybe I was raised differently.

Obviously not expecting people in wheel Chairs or someone with mobility issues to move out the way.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I agree and this is pretty much what I do, although I have never thought about it like this.

I'll try to move over for anyone with reduced mobility for any reason and it has annoyed me when others haven't done the same for me (when I was heavily pregnant or out with a newborn clearly looking a bit dazed).

If two people are walking towards the same space at the same time, and will collide if no one moves, the rule should be that the one who’d come off BETTER if they collided should step aside. Anything else is not fit for a civilised society.

So an able bodied man would usually step aside for an able bodied woman, anyone else would step aside for a disabled person, elderly person or small child. If there’s no obvious physically more robust person, you do a quick assessment of your “privilege”, and whether the other person might have been once unfairly made to step aside for you, and if so you step aside for them.

Sounds convoluted but we all know and should be able to assess pretty quickly.

It’s often men of that age, but not exclusively. The shoving you in the bus queue seems like the worst example as he was actually physically violent.

Driving, I did have an example with a Mum on the school run this morning of bibbing and trying to push through a queue of traffic etc - I was on the way back from the school run, so I’m guessing she was late!

It's not a any-thing other than a arshole thing .

As I said before they come in all shapes and sizes and sex

@daisymoonlight
His aim was clearly to intimidate a woman and he felt it was his right to do so until he was confronted with another man, then suddenly his point wasnt so important after all!

that reminds me of a story I read on another thread a few days ago where the OPs DH has long curly blonde hair and drives a small car. He was been given a hard time by a Very Important White Van Man who gesticulated for him to pull over. The DH pulled over and got out the car to talk to angry van Man, who was expecting a woman, not a 6 foot 5 bloke. Apparently van Man kept his doors locked and the window down an inch whilst cowering in his seat 😄

If I win the Lottery, one of the first things I'll do is buy some land & make a car park for those residents!

@ifIwerenotanandroid that's far more public spirited than me. It would have to be a really big lottery win for me to do that and I'd insist on it being named after me and cutting the ribbon myself.

I'm 5' 2" and as I said previously I've never really experienced it.

@sixthvestibule
Smug couples with two children are the worst. ‘Look at us, the perfect little family, now MOVE, you defective peasant.’

Yes this annoys me. Likewise the dad who was doing performative parenting and letting his toddler weave around getting in the way of everyone. He was aware people were behind waiting to pass and just was feebly watching his child with a smug grin on his face. In the end I just said "Excuse me please!". He looked shocked, and held the toddlers hand and moved out the way.

Also the co-dependent couples who can't let go of each other's hands for 10 seconds to let someone pass. Me and DH usually hold hands when we're walking but soon as we see someone approaching we let go and walk in single file so we can all pass on the pavement

Lol ok 😂