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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF- leaving do-- what to do?

32 replies

Boxshibe · 24/04/2023 17:53

A much loved colleague is leaving end of this week. Due to our management not realising this or forgetting nothing had been organised.
So last week I started organising an evening out. Booking a restaurant and drinks after. Getting pre orders, paying for the deposits etc. I set up a teams chat and invited people who know her .
someone I invited it turns out is also leaving (I didn't know, don't work with them) has announced that this will also be their leaving do! And can they input on what we do and invite people!
Can I tell them to but out and organise there own or grin and bear it!
He'll totally change the dynamic of the dinner and drinks
I think he's being a massive CF and it should be up to his manager to sort it.
Aibu?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
cakewench · 25/04/2023 18:17

Boxshibe · 25/04/2023 17:19

UPDATE- Unfortunately in the last 24hrs the colleague who was being thrown the party has had a death in the family. So we have cancelled. CF asked if it could still go ahead as his!!!
I said no and cancelled the dinner etc
CF!!

Oh my god! He sounds like a real piece of work. Thank you for the update because I was wondering!

moonspiral · 25/04/2023 18:13

Boxshibe · 25/04/2023 17:19

UPDATE- Unfortunately in the last 24hrs the colleague who was being thrown the party has had a death in the family. So we have cancelled. CF asked if it could still go ahead as his!!!
I said no and cancelled the dinner etc
CF!!

OMFG HOW RUDE IS CF COLLEAGUE! NO SYMPATHY

Theemptychairismyshadow · 25/04/2023 18:09

Your poor colleague. The CF showed his colours!

Original poster
Boxshibe · 25/04/2023 17:19

UPDATE- Unfortunately in the last 24hrs the colleague who was being thrown the party has had a death in the family. So we have cancelled. CF asked if it could still go ahead as his!!!
I said no and cancelled the dinner etc
CF!!

OP posts:
MusicansMum · 24/04/2023 18:59

The thing is that if he comes and you are presenting your friend with a leaving gift etc he will want something too.

Theemptychairismyshadow · 24/04/2023 18:51

Yanbu! No bridges to burn so go nuclear

rookiemere · 24/04/2023 18:32

If he's leaving on the same date, then it will be difficult for him to select a different date.
I'd go back and say that the restaurant is already booked and organised for original colleague, but do feel free to join you after for drinks.

Original poster
Boxshibe · 24/04/2023 18:31

There has been no leaving do organised for him. Not my problem different area of large department. If he wanted one he should have organised one.
It's a small do only 20 people. My manager invited him but I didn't know he was leaving. My manager is not his manager.
I've told him we can't add people to the meal but they could come for drinks after.

OP posts:
MusicansMum · 24/04/2023 18:26

He's leaving so you can be blunt. You won't have to deal with him again.

Is he actually stopping work on the same day as your friend?

BellaBlossoms · 24/04/2023 18:24

I think you’ve misunderstood CF, this event is for X leaving, please let us know the date of yours so we can pop the date in our diaries x

Cheeky sod!

mrsbyers · 24/04/2023 18:22

I don’t think it’s that bad , if there’s two conflicting leaving do’s then it could compromise attendees at yours

Blizzard23 · 24/04/2023 18:21

Do not let him hijack your efforts!

Blizzard23 · 24/04/2023 18:20

Let the tumbleweed and drop outs commence with his party.

MaydinEssex · 24/04/2023 18:20

Boxshibe · 24/04/2023 18:07

He announced it in group chat

" just to let everyone know this will also be my leaving do, so drinks are on you"
Twat

I live 5 hrs away and people are travelling to be there. If it was his do I'd sign the card and that's it.

Did you add him to the group chat? If so can you delete him from the group and/or chat?

Blizzard23 · 24/04/2023 18:19

The reply would be:

’ CF will be organising his own drinks party as this one is organised for xx. Please advise dates and times you would like to host your leaving party CF and I am sure we would all love to join you’

MaydinEssex · 24/04/2023 18:18

Maybe say he can join you for drinks after but not the meal, tell him he can't attend that as its too late to change the booking.

TheSaturdayAfternoonnessOfIt · 24/04/2023 18:17

Going against the grain - it's unlucky for him if a major party has already been organised at the same time he was planning his leaving do. He might be justified in thinking people won't be up for two parties in a short space of time. I don't see what's wrong with a joint do, although he shouldn't expect to change what has already been organised.

moonspiral · 24/04/2023 18:17

I mean thing is, people won't be able to go to both if they know both. But yeah someone else should have suggested it not him

PyjamaFan · 24/04/2023 18:16

What a cheeky sod!

I agree, this needs nipping in the bud right now.

Emigratingimmigrant · 24/04/2023 18:13

Just say there is a misunderstanding and this is X's leaving do, but happy to help whoever organises his with tips

growgrowinggrown · 24/04/2023 18:11

can you delete the message out of the group chat and then contact him privately?
He's hoping to back you into a corner by posting that publicly so you either need to react and squash it or accept it - no wishy washy.

poppypetal · 24/04/2023 18:10

That's bang out of order! What a CF! Perhaps text the group and say 'think there has been some crossed wires along the way, leaving do is for nice colleague only, but I'm sure we'll all be glad of 2 events when CF gives us the details of his party'.

Original poster
Boxshibe · 24/04/2023 18:07

He announced it in group chat

" just to let everyone know this will also be my leaving do, so drinks are on you"
Twat

I live 5 hrs away and people are travelling to be there. If it was his do I'd sign the card and that's it.

OP posts:
poppypetal · 24/04/2023 18:06

Nip it in the bud. Once he starts with his input and inviting his friends, you'll just end up being the unpaid hired party planner. I'd just say 'I'm really sorry but I've already decided what we're doing and it's tailored towards nice colleague. It'll be great having 2 leaving parties to go to though, so let me know what you arrange for yours and hopefully I'll be able to make it.'

jazzybelle · 24/04/2023 18:04

Ignore him and carry on arranging your party.

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