He stepped on a spider

I'd never kill insects for fun, but there are some that I'd rather kill than try to catch and release. I'm terrified of wasps, for instance, and where I live, there are other insects that I believe it is pointless to put outside. They'll just come back in, and they're disgusting pests. I'll kill those, if I can work up the nerve, and I use pesticide to keep them away, as much as possible.

Harmless spiders that aren't huge, I'll usually just shoo away and ignore. (They're fair game if I'm vacuuming up cobwebs, though...) I wouldn't be impressed if someone made a big show of killing a harmless spider, but I can't say for certain that I'd find it such an instant and complete 'crush-killer'.

It would be a big NO from me.

This!

I wonder if he would have killed the spider if there was no one else in the room.

He was most likely asked to deal with the spider because he was a man, so perhaps was playing up to the role a bit.

Maybe his mum used to ask his dad to kill spiders or something.

He sounds as bad as a bloke I knew slightly (he was dating a friend and conveniently forgot to mention he was married). Restaurant with group of friends, big huntsman appeared on the wall, great fright among a lot of us. This idiot decided to get rid of it by impaling it with a fork. Fright immediately turned to disgust with him.

If this one took pleasure in killing a spider, what else might he take pleasure in hurting or killing? That’s the part that stands out for me, that he enjoyed doing it. Whether it was the cruelty to the spider or shocking the humans, it says nothing good about him.

My DP refuses to put spiders outside- because he found out that they come inside because they're cold. Soft bugger.

This guy is not a keeper.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but I have very severe arachnophobia I can't explain the full reasons why as it is very outing but someone who is no longer in my life and was very abusive used spiders to frighten me when I was a child and it traumatised me. Even now 30 years later I can't bare to watch spider movies, any shows which have spiders or see photos of them as it causes me so much fear and anxiety and I have flashbacks to what that person did to me, so whenever I have a spider in my home I either hoover it up or kill it with my shoe and that is the only thing that can calm my anxiety about them I often have to take a sedative or drink a large brandy to calm my nerves as I get so paranoid there are more. However I don't take pleasure in killing them I just can't cope knowing they could find another way to get back in.

Yeah the guy was a dick for his cruel remark and clearly taking pleasure in killing it but if I had been there I probably would have killed it however I wouldn't have said what he did, for me I just can't cope with spiders small or massive I want them out of mind out of sight knowing this one won't be back. If that makes me a horrible person then I'd rather live with that than a spider.

Well yes, but Australia is kind of well known for it's noxious wildlife.

To answer the OP’s question, YANBU. His gleeful enjoyment of killing the spider would be a right turn-off.

He sounds brill.

I couldn't be with a man who didn't squash them. They only come back in, if you put them out.

I have no compunction about swatting mozzies personally, but then I have had malaria whilst in West Africa, so that probably helps explain my attitude there. (Although I hate the blighters anyway, especially their high-pitched buzzing during the night!)

Is it only legitimate to swatt a mosquito when there is the possibility that it might give you malaria or some other disease, I wonder??)

I have no issue with spiders, I move them outside if my DDs see them, though, as they hate them.

As for wasps, I’m completely phobic and run away from them. (I have been badly stung, in my defence!)

Exactly this.
The spider's life is just as important to him, as yours is to you.

Creep. Don't give him another thought. And ditch the silly female friend who squealed about a spider while you're at it.

Awww amazing! @SarahAndQuack my Grandad would be proud 😂😂😂

I’m not in Australia.

Yanbu, awful thing for him to do but a good thing for you to see if that's how he is and even better it's put you off.

My DP calls all spiders 'Fred'! I had no idea that was a thing. She is scared of them too, but would never hurt them.

There's truth in this. A lot of the time, a spider you find in your house will be a species that's adapted to living indoors, and it won't do well exposed to outdoor conditions. (I guess before houses existed they would've lived in caves and things?) Most of the time, they're quietly living their lives in unnoticed parts of your house, disposing of many times their weight in other creepy-crawlies (learning about the biomass pyramid at school finally comes in handy in my everyday life!) and you've only just happened to notice them because they're looking for a girlfriend or something. Sometimes an outdoor spider will end up in your house accidentally, but they don't really want to.

He’s an adult, right? Not a child?

He sounds like a right piece of shit.

@TwoMonthsOff I’m afraid they do! And it’s not uncommon. It’s very off-putting. The assumption that all women must be scared of spiders.

A man who'd have stepped right in confidently with a glass and a piece of paper would've been ideal.

He really was. Him and my Nan raised me and I consider myself very lucky to have had such a wonderful father figure ♥️ @FrostyFifi

I agree @HeckyPeck, we should all be as lucky as my Grandmother was ☺️

YANBU!

Totally not necessary for that performance

I absolutely hate spiders but would get a glass and piece of card/firm paper then pop out the front door (if DH is away/not around)

Not surprised it's put you off him!

@elm26 Your grandad sounds like a wonderful man.

I don't kill anything unnecessarily. Ever.

Clearly if you eat meat, or have a rat or cockroach infestation and you need to get rid of them it can't be helped (but as humanely as possible eg use traps for the rats, don't condemn them or any passing owl to five days of agony).

But if a harmless creature is minding its own business then why would you kill it? It's such a cruelly pointless thing to do.

And no I don't kill wasps, I'll help them outside if they come in.

My brother has a rule in his house "you kill it, you eat it" which does rather discourage small children from mindlessly killing bugs.