Un-interative grandparents

The generation that didn't play, do me a favour. I played all the time with my children and can get down there on the floor with the grandkids.Im in my 70s and a bit creaky but they don't worry about that. I think they believe I'm just an old kid!
My parents generation didn't play a lot , I was expected to help in the house, play out a lot and amuse myself. They were also good parents! Play as a serious activity wasn't top of the list in the frugal 50s.

I think to that age group that is their idea of parenting / interaction etc - do you remember them playing with you as a child?

Nonsense! We had the grandchildren, aged 3 and 5 for the weekend in September. We were exhausted after spending the whole weekend at “school”, playing “Teachers!” (We and DGS were the school children, while DGD was the teacher). DH was permanently excluded, because he was so naughty! I had to call 999, as Tigger and Eeyore had such explosive diarrhoea!

My in laws are the same. Just sit on the sofa on their phones in silence and stick the TV on for the kids. They won't even go to the park or a coffee shop. We hardly ever visit and the kids don't want to because it's so boring. They live two hours away from us so it's just not worth the effort, and they refuse to travel to us. It's so disappointing.

My in-laws aren't very interactive. Once watched my daughter bring my FIL a book and ask him to read it. He read one short page and handed it back to her and went back to watching tv! They don't play or read bedtime stories. It bothered me to start with. Now I've just accepted that it's just how they are - you can't force it.

Exactly - they are only in their early 60s! Seen and not heard was Victorian.

My DM is 75, and happily gets down on the floor and plays with DS. DH is 45 and does not (he does other stuff). Different parenting styles, nothing to do with age.

Babies are boring. Children who grandparents can play card games or table top games with are much more fun.

I say this as someone who has several children aged between 16 and 6yo and I am in my early 40s.

My mum and dad too and they'd be in their 90s. They loved playing with us as kids and they were brilliant/down on the floor grandparents. It has nothing to do with age/generation.

Some people just don't like playing with babies, perhaps when they are both a bit older they will find it more interesting to spend time with them.
Doesn't mean they don't love them.

YABU.

My mum & dad are the same. Grandkids love them, though!

That’s my Mil. Tbh though she wasn’t much good with DH when he was a child.
I tried to get her to engage many times with the kids, to no avail.
so, they don’t have a great relationship with her and they do with my mum. Did really try too.

Oh this ageist nonsense again - my mum is 77 had a terrible childhood and wasn't the most hands on mum but by God she is am amazing grandparent - very creative - playing games, going out for adventures (when they were younger) and still very involved in their lives - age has bugger all to do with it.

Maybe ask them to take them out once in a while or say 'oh fab you popped in I need to go to the shops for an hour - give you chance to play with them'?

It’s a personality thing rather than an age thing. I found it interesting to see who was good with kids and who could instinctively relate to them on their level. Interestingly, I found that being good with kids was about 50/50 divided between men and women in our families despite most of the women claiming to be obsessed with babies and toddlers (perhaps just social pressure?)

My step mum is just incredible with babies and toddlers - she’ll get down on her knees and pull faces or talk about fairy houses for hours! She’s also very responsive to shifts in their moods and knows exactly what to say. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have any toys - she’ll find the curiousity and fun in anything. My (very young) brother in laws are similar.

I also have family members who are more like your parents. They like children a lot in theory! But when they’re around them tend to talk to other adults exclusively and expect the kids to quietly fit around everyone else. Like a well trained house cat! Maybe your parents will come into their own when the kids are older. I don’t feel this is a coachable situation personally. You’ve either got it or you don’t.

For goodness sake ! What a lot of ageist tripe.

I'm 60, my ds is 15. I cycle and practice martial arts with him, dance in the kitchen, play games, watch films together.

I also still work full time, park run etc.

These people are the same age as Right Said Fred at the absolute oldest

Yep it's ageist tosh. Have you tried taking some toys or games for them to play with? You might find it's the age of the children and as they are more able to play cards and board games your parents may get more involved.

Some of these comments made me laugh as an ancient 60something grandparent. Apparently I’m of the generation where children were seen and not heard. Oh and nanny would take the children up to the nursery after being brought to curtsy in front of the parents 😂
Some adults are good at playing with children, some not so much.

Perhaps,they like to see you as well

You might need to help them play. I'm a Granny and it felt a long time since I'd had little ones around when I became a Granny. I'd forgotten what they liked to do when they were small. Dd helped by bringing toys where it was obvious to me how I could join in dgs's play. He's four now and it's easy as he tells me and shows me his games and chooses what he brings with him. Perhaps you could set up some options for them when they come to yours such as a tea set and play food, dgs and I had lots of tea parties at one point or cars and a way to make a road and bridges we did lots of that as well. There is always Orchard Toys games as well for something for an easy ten minutes of play. Hopefully if you show them the way they will then feel more confident to expand on their interactions with your children.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 at all the ridiculous comments about Grandparents age. They are only in their 60s.

I do softplay, parks, trampoline, swimming, drawing with my GC and it's nothing to do with age. It's to do with the individual person.

My grandmother never played with me, had very little direct communication with me (no language in common) and I only saw her every few years (because we lived in different countries).

She loved me. I loved her. So yes I think YABU.

Incidentally- my mother was the best player with children I have ever, ever met. She'd be over 100 if she was alive today.

"I think this generation seem to come from the 'children should be seen but not heard' tribe. Quite depressing really"
Yeah- the 1960s was such a repressive time.....

My parents were very similar. Loved posting a pic on FB ... "day with the grandkids #favouritedays #makingmemories" but that's all they wanted, to insinuate that they were fab grandies, keeping up with the Jones style. It was all for show.

At least they want the children around and care about them. Getting onto the floor and playing isn't everyone's cup of tea. I mean, my FIL refuses to even smile at my daughter when she is cooing up at him. He didn't care when she was admitted to the hospital. He won't hold her at all. I'd be over the moon if he even said that he loved her, this would be a delight.

More ageist tosh.