House dilemma

I agree that you should stay. We did a similar thing and it was a mistake. You don't always find such special friends again. Just visit the river at weekends!

I have two adult children who live in two very different cities.
Both would love a rural idyll but both know that the idyll would come at a huge cost later in life because both have partners who lived in the idyll and would never go back again.

A riverside setting comes with some extreme risks.

What’s so amazing about the dream house? I know you can have a boat, but the fact you’ve said the town is meh is NOT a selling factor!

If it was me, I’d not move. This network you have and your parents nearby absolutely ensures you can cope with your life! Unfortunately it means your DH is clueless.
Questions for him - if you had a longer commute, add extra time for unknown traffic. Is he doing breakfast/school run? Who’s collecting DC as you don’t know any parents to help out and you can’t get into afterschool club or any sports clubs after school. Your parents are no longer nearby if they’re ill etc etc

I would suggest an idyllic childhood is where your mum doesn’t have a breakdown (I couldn’t cope with 1- no network and 2- constant supervision of the river)

https://www.gov.uk/check-long-term-flood-risk

put the properties post code in to see if it is projected to be under water in 10 years time.

Since your dh works shifts you would be stuck out in a strange place with no friends around. Your set up now sounds like you are very relaxed while dh is on shift as in a familiar area with support around. Do not move.

The new house sounds amazing. I grew up in what sounds similar setting. House backing on to brook (so smaller than a river which may change things) and woodlands. Spent sooo much time playing by the brook and in the woods with my friends. No rats and lovely clean water =) Right to roam so we were allowed to go everywhere. We learnt how to care and look after nature. Tracking deer prints in the wood, climbing trees. Laying on our tummies catching water bugs. The best memories.. Would be nice for your OH to be nearer his parents and friends. You don't say how far away you are from your OH's DP's at the current house.
But, an hours commute for you is obviously less good than 40 min,you don't mention if a move would affect your OH's commute. If it is prone to flooding or fast moving obv would be a problem so worth finding out. And river rats sound horrible.
I wish my children could have had my life style growing up but at the moment that is not possible sadly. Your set up in your old town sounds lovely too even if a bit squeezed in. If you are not 100% then I would stay where you are.

I think living somewhere where you feel you belong, have local friends and just feel part of the community is like gold dust. I wouldn’t give that up for a river and a boat. Of course you could maybe build that network up again somewhere new, but it’s always a gamble. I think it’s easy to idealise things, the lovely image of the kids messing about on the water etc, and as an addition to an already great life it could be wonderful, but it sounds like you’re swapping out all the truly important stuff, and I don’t think it would be worth it.

no bricks and mortar is a once in a life time opportunity and its not perfect as so far away from everything you'll end up stressed ut from mass travelling and being in the car

Just wanted to highlight the obvious but there are more than 2 houses to choose from. If there's another suitable home nearby but a bit more expensive, consider what that would be per day. I changed job for a better paid one that I didn't enjoy. Every day at around 4pm I'd ask if I would pay £10 to be able to just go home. I earned £5k more which was around £100/week but after tax, pension, student loan it was nearer 60 then take off a bit of petrol for longer commute...so about £10 a day. I'd have paid that for my old life back.
Conversely if there's a suitable house £20k more, how much is that per day to have your friends and family close.

Careful of river and flood/drowning risk. Can you do a loft conversion?

I would stay put as well. We would like to move with DC2 on the way but we just love this house and our neighbours. We are roughly between both sets of parents at with DCs being small that I'd more important at the moment. Sounds similar to your situation x

I'm curious how this potential new house came on the radar. Were you thinking of moving anyway and stumbled upon this wildcard? It ticks all your boxes and is a great price and your OH loves it?

The GP stuff...I think that even though it's further away it should be doable to maintain a relationship with them. Kids adapt pretty readily. I mean on the face of it I wouldn't want to be with someone working such unsociable hours but you adapt.
It's an ideal time to move and a great school and environment for children to grow up in but I understand your reluctance. I guess the question you and your husband need to discuss is will it EVER be the a right time to move from what you know and love? If the kids were 10 or teens I think yd still want to be near your friends.
It's a difficult one to answer as essentially you don't want to move for you, not the family however if you're miserable your family will be too.
Once your more than 30mins away from someone you tend not to 'pop in' or 'bump into' in the same way. So 1hr or 3hrs, you need to plan in advance and that effects the dynamics, but you both work (shifts too) so I'd have thought you're not particularly spontaneous.

I can't answer this for you but I do think you want to stay because you're scared. It won't get easier as your family get older, you'll be more stuck in your ways. If you don't move now I think you need to be OK with saying you want to stay in your home town forever.

I wouldnt move. The daily commute alone is adding 10 hours away from family, not to mind losing your support

Stay put.

What has led to this? Were you actively looking for a bigger property or did you happen to see it?

I live in a village that is inconvenient in many ways as the nearest town and surgery are a distance away, and the house is small. But, as a widow, I am surrounded by good kind people, lots of local activities and would not want to be anywhere else - it is the people who count. Your people - friends, family, children's schools and friends - are around you. That counts for more than anything else - community over a bigger house.

Yep, you couldn’t pay me to live in a house backing into a river.

I’d stay where you already know you can be happy.

Like most of the previous posters, I wouldn't want to live next to a river. I certainly wouldn't want a longer commute.

If your parents are helpful, being nearer them makes sense.

You haven't mentioned secondary school. Unless there was an outstanding one near the new house, I really wouldn't consider it as it sounds like you have too much to use. I say this as someone who moved away to the 'dream house' - which is lovely - but misses the many positives of where I used to live (and which I now know I took for granted!). The perfect house isn't perfect without the local friendships, being near engaged grandparents etc.

No way. Stay where you are and look for a bigger house much nearer. No way would I give up friends and family for a boat. Aside from that, a river and small children sends shivers down my spine.

I'd stay put.

Location first, house second. I've done it the other way round and been miserable. Maybe wait for something to come up where you are.

www.gov.uk/check-long-term-flood-risk

Put the postcode in here, then congratulate yourself on dodging (a very damp) bullet.

Your current set up sounds idyllic! Can you do a loft conversion/ extend some other way?

Stay put.

You'll miss all that if you move