Am I being a CF?

Keep her with you or playing away from the part group.

You are fine. It would take a special kind of dick to object to a parent who can’t find childcare for their younger child and is paying for said child. What’s the alternative, the 6y old doesn’t go either?

I'd have asked if I could drop my 6 year old off. That is what we have done when they've been to parties lately, I've been working and dh has had all 3 kids. Once I got home then he would go over to the party for the remainder of the time. We've checked with the parents first.

I actually think you have been cheeky as your younger child is trying to tag along anyway and it will be awkward for them if little one wants to join in the food or refreshments. If it was me I wouldn't mind an extra child but some do.

And me - or asked someone else to take your daughter.

This has never bothered me, we've hosted class parties and had siblings sat on the sidelines with parents so we've always invited them to join the party, childcare can be a nightmare and the more the merrier. I'd have invited you both to join the rest of the parents and just let the kids have at it, not a cf at all.

But at all… CF would be if you took her into the party room and expected a party bag for her

Taking her and paying for her is fine. Allowing her to go over to the party and follow her sister is total CF. And it's incredibly unfair to your 6 year old

No I think you're fine. However at 6 I wouldn't be hanging around at a kids party, so I would have dropped off and then taken the 3 year old somewhere else!

You're right, not entirely fair on my 6 Yr old however after about 5 mins, she left her sister for dust and played with her friends.

3yo met other smaller kids and I then played with her for the last while.

I would prefer to keep parties separate as much as possible, but hadn't childcare today. Would also drop and go, just wasn't entirely comfortable today for a few reasons so did my best with what I had to work with.

I mentioned to the parents on arrival that I had 3yo so would sit separately and we chatted til others arrived and they sat in the party area. they offered me a coffee but didn't offer to include my 3yo (which is absolutely not what I would expect or want) which I hope means they didn't feel under pressure or awkward.

Yes exactly this - I sat as far away as possible from the party tables which are in a dedicated place. They're large and for party groups and are adjacent to the play frame. The food and cake then is served in a separate party room altogether, which my 3 Yr old did not go in to.

I considered this but didn't feel comfortable in this particular situation.

I dont consider it the same, to be honest. Play centres are open to the public, operating on a drop in arrangement alongside party bookings, they have good and drink for sale. My home is private, the entertainment provided is solely paid for, by me and the food provided is bought and prepared by me too. So bringing extra kids puts all the extra pressure on me, as the host, as opposed to a parent in a play centre who can choose to pay for and use facilities open to the public and can fairly easily do so separate from the party.

I’d have dropped and gone to be honest.

If you’re actively engaging with the little one, keeping her away from the party group and allowing the older one to enjoy the party as if you’re not there, all good.

On the other hand if you’re sat at a table on your phone, allowing the little one to wander around unsupervised/ occasionally distracting the little one or removing her from the party then that’s not fair on the older sibling.

Not cheeky at all. If you paid for the sibling and don't expect any party stuff for her then it's the same as if they'd bumped into any other kid they knew there. It's not like they have private hire.

If there is space in the party room, I invite the siblings to sit there too if their parents have paid for food for them. I'd tell them
"If you want little Jonny to join in the party after, just pay for their lunch at the counter and let them know they'll be joining the party games as well. Sorry we obviously don't have a party bag for them but they can get some cake at the end"

No she hasn't - she's paid her child in and will be buying food in a venue that's open to the public. Completely different to other parents deciding to take their kids to OPs home and assuming it will be ok!

I'm assuming OP has sat at the other side of the soft play, away from the party table (there's no food there, I believe, because it'll be in the party room after) but the younger sibling is finding her sister in the soft play structure and following her to the party table when she exits.

Not a cf by any means.

You can't always drop and go as mentioned up thread as it depends entirely on the 6 year old. Lots of those with kids with additional needs never get that kind of freedom. You cant just magic up other childcare either.

No, this is totally fine!

You would be a cf if you sat your child at the party table with the other children, but you haven't done this, so it isn't a problem 😊

No, but at that age I would have dropped and gone.
To avoid a) sibling following her round, b) elder sibling actually getting a chance to enjoy 'her' party, c) you stressing about being a cf, d) the difficulty of keeping younger away.

OP’s already said she won’t be going into the party room for food. OP’s paid for the sibling and also explained she has no other childcare..so would it have been better to keep the 6 year old at home and not go at all, or do the only other thing possible and take them both?

I agree it’s not ideal the party invitee having their sibling hanging around but I don’t see any choice in the matter.

I actually think it would've been better to take a friend for the younger one, then keep them completely away from the party group. The six year old should be allowed to go to a party with her friends without her 3 year old sister tagging along. My view may be coloured by my DNs where the 8 yeast old is expected to watch over/give in to the 4 year old all the time even when she had her own friends over to play or at her own birthday party

Going against the grain, I think you are being a bit cheeky. You said she's playing with her sister and wandered over to the party table. I also think it's a bit unfair for the y year old not being able to enjoy the party without her sibling tagging along. And of course the parents will have to include her as it would be mean not to, so you're putting them in an awkward position.

To be honest, I don’t quite understand how she’s playing with her sister who’s at the party but she’s being held seperately and how she’s wandering over to the party table several times?