Is my partner going to cheat

You need to do your own post o

Hello everyone, I’m new to this and hoping for some input/advice. I’m in my late 40s and my husband in his early 50s. Been married for three years. He seemed to be everything I needed and wanted in a husband. Unfortunately, I have a growing suspicion he’s not being faithful. He takes Viagra, which I knew about early on in our relationship. The issue is that he has multiple opened bottles and is seemingly taking some from each bottle. I’ve started to pay closer attention and noticed he was taking them with him whenever he goes out to gym, work and etc. I’ve asked him about this and he said he would take it to get ready me for when he comes home. I was hesitant but I decided to believe him. After some time, my suspicion hasn’t gone away and today, I noticed another pill was missing and I’m sick so we are not being intimate for that reason. I noticed the pill was gone when he left for the gym. Im trying by very hard to keep a level head and keep it together. I know if I confront him, it’ll turn into an argument saying things like I don’t trust him and etc., so discussing my concerns are out of the question. I’m at a loss.

He may not have tried it before and bought it to enhance w your sex life? Just talk to him when he gets back.

When he gets back, tell him you found the package and to just be honest, there is noting you shouldn't be able to discuss, even if it's a little bit awkward sometimes.

@ToffeeKrisp so pleased - this is good news! Bless you it must have been stressful!

OP the viagra is probably something he uses with you. He's just embarrassed to say. My partner was the same.

Do what the other poster suggested. Say a parcel has arrived and ask what’s in it? If he lies then you need to ask yourself why?

Two things would really worry me. The fact he’s told you that he’s never been faithful in a relationship before and the fact he’s bought viagra in the first place without your knowledge.

I also don’t know any men who would go off alone on a ‘lad’s ‘ holiday when not in their twenties , for ten days without any women at all. Not being prim - just I know my male friends may go on a night out, maybe even a weekend - but nearly two weeks with only men when you have small kids just seems a bit odd. Unless of course you are planning on going somewhere equally as nice and leaving him alone with kids for a fortnight too? In which case that’s fine!

Did he pack the pills OP?

Yes, watch him open the package.
Why the lads trip away if it is not his bucks?
What would he say if you and some girlfriends also booked in the same town?

It is suspicious; I can see why you are wondering.
You should talk about fidelity and that it is a deal breaker and be prepared to not get married depending on his opinion.

What is a NTON adult? I tried to google it but couldn't find anything. Apologies if I'm being naive!

Why are you marrying someone you don't trust? That is what it boils down to.

He has form for cheating and you will never trust him so why put yourself through the stress and anxiety of constantly thinking he is cheating on you?

Yes this is the thing OP.. he is going to hurt you at some point.. he will hurt you at some point and if this is not enough.. the hurt will probably be in your pocket when you divorce him should you be stupid enough to marry this waste of space

There is no such thing as women's intuition.
You do yourself a disservice when you claim it.

You didn't "intuit" that the package contained viagra.
You deducted it.
You know he's cheated on every woman he's been with, so you know deep down he will cheat on you too.
You knew that he'd ordered viagra before.
You knew he was going on a long lad's holiday.

Ergo ... the pills are probably not for home use, & he is planning to cheat.

I appreciate you want to wait & see if he packs them ... but either way, this man is not marriage material. He's a serial cheat, he's going to hurt you at some point.

It's probably too late now, but I would've said a package arrived for him and then when I knew he'd opened it, ask him casually what it was.
If he lies you'll know.

Ring hotel reception and ask to be put through to his room. Dont phone his mobile , he will see who's calling. Do it at a time when you would expect him to be asleep. See who answers.

I think it's silly to marry someone who you can't have open conversation with.

All this game playing and waiting if he will take it on holidays with him or not. Bottom line is that you don't trust him.

If you can't have an honest conversation with your partner, you should not marry him.

And nobody knows why he's got this Viagra. But the 10 day "lads' holiday" would be a deal-breaker for me. The whole idea is repellent.

But men will be men

🤮🤮🤮

The men I know don't behave like this, and nobody should be thinking that it's normal.

@Rockychocolate

I am with the posters who said what the hell is he doing jetting off for 10 days lads holiday. Sounds like he has cheated before and he will again. He obviously bought the viagra for himself. Check if he packs it and then you have your answer. Lots of men go on these holidays together and don't see it as cheating and none of the wives are the wiser as the wives all trust them and say my husband would never do that.

The thing is OP, this is no way to live. Say he doesn't take the Viagra with him. What will it be next? Are you just going to spend the entire marriage to this person wondering if/when he's cheating on you? Every time he goes out, or stays late at work, or goes to a party? You do realise happy, healthy relationships are NOT like this, right?

You need to leave the serial cheater because you are just setting yourself up for failure with him. And, kindly, you may want to look into therapy for your trust issues, because a deeply mistrustful person is not a healthy person to be in a relationship with either. You will sabotage every relationship you're in in future if you can't curb the lack of trust. Don't get me wrong, in this case it's justified, but you say you have a tendency to be mistrustful anyway which isn't a good foundation for a relationship.

Don't discount it.. these groups of men will keep their loyalty to the grave as they're all in the same position. Mens behaviour in groups would be unrecognisable to their wives and girlfriends. How can you know they definitely don't?