16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

Run for the hills! Your partner's reaction is ridiculous and concerning.

She's a possessive creep. Get rid. I'm baffled you have to ask MN opinion.

No defending going on, just pointing out that some people (a minority) do find it 'icky'. They don't have to have been SA victims or messed up, it's just a gut reaction.
Nothing in my post saying I think it's inappropriate, in fact if you re read I've said she was wrong to imply it was inappropriate, so lm hardly defending am I?

I am sorry but she is not ok in the head . 16 she is still a child and there is nothing wrong with that .

Thank you for your words, as I got older I saw it more for what it was and just accepted that it would never change, I see it all the time though what people put up with, it just becomes their 'normal' and it's too hard to do anything about it.

The final straw was when she found out she had an incurable illness but neither her or my dad told me for over a year because 'she didn't want me to know' she'd been my stepmum for over 25 years, and I used to see them once a week, I went no contact after that, I just couldn't take the rejection any more, fucking grown woman and I used to go home from their house in tears sometimes feeling like that powerless 11 year old, best decision I ever made.

It doesn’t take much effort to read the OPs posts…

Its an ongoing issue.
only with the youngest DD.

and she has no issue with her children being tactile.

And if it gives her “the ick” then the decent thing is to walk away. Not deliberately interfere in a parent child relationship and suggest impropriety surely?

Fucking hell. Op, ignore every word of this. There's always one who defends the abuser.

This is a MASSIVE red flag! She’s jealous of your child! Get rid!

I am so sorry you went through this, and as disgusting as your stepmother was/is, I am horrified that you father put up with this madness. He should have been on your side, and he wasn't.

I actually don't think it's so weird for your partner to feel this way. I'm presuming you're a pretty new couple if this is the first time she's observed this kind of physical closeness. She doesnt have the same relationship to your daughter as you do. She sees an adult (arguably a child) draped across you. I dont for one minute she felt there was anything vaguely sexual about it but it looked sexual and her gut instinct has cut in. I think she's wrong to tell you it's inappropriate but maybe it was right to tell you how she felt. Is she 'taxtile' in front of your family, so would she sit on your knee or stroke you, kiss you?
I feel queasy when I watch people 'nuzzling' their pets. I don't think it's 'wrong' as such, it's just I think please don't do that in front of others....I don't think she's jealous as others have suggested, I think it just gives her the ick.

I have one the same age it's completely normal. Heck my 20+ year old little brother was hugged up to our mum on the sofa the other day. Why is that weird. Your new gf obviously has problems she needs to deal with.

I'm a bit late to this one, but as a word of warning, my step mother was like this.

She married my dad when I was 11 and she hated him spending time with me, he wasn't allowed to be alone with me, he wasn't allowed to help me with anything, I used to see them once a week as this was 'acceptable', I remember one day I was upset about something and he sat next to me and put his arm round me and she immediately hit the roof! She started shouting and said it looked like we were two lovers sat together. I didn't understand what I'd done wrong as a child, but I assumed it was my fault, and did everything I could not to antagonise her after that, I didn't want to get my dad in 'trouble'.

We were never alone together, but one time, a lot later, something happened to my car on the way round so I asked my dad to have a quick look when I got there, it was something really simple so he fixed it and she wouldn't speak the rest of the time I was there as we'd been outside alone together for 10 minutes.

She was fucking poisonous that one, and it was all because of jealousy, I saw it all over 25 years, I'm not saying your partner is as bad as this but it's definitely a red flag, which will only get worse over time if you let it. If you're a 'anything for a quiet life' person like my dad was, then I'd say be very careful what you go along with, it sets a precedent going forward of what you'll accept and what you won't.

My advice would be, don't put up with any of it.

Your answer should still be to dump. The op isn't responsible for the mental health issues of their partner, and this person is trying to alienate the op from her children.

The relationship needs to be over.

Right OP….

So my previous answer was to dump.
But now I have a very strong suspicion that your partner may have been a victim of sexual abuse of some sort. If she hasn’t suffered 1st hand it may have been someone else very close to her like a sister, best friend, mum. Etc.

Especially of all of the issues are around the same topic.

Maybe try to have that chat with her.

She might need to have a chat with a counsellor to deal with those feelings and move on (even if she hasn’t had any history of abuse as she clearly has some sort of trauma around it).

Well, she'd hate me for sure, my father massaged my neck, shoulders and back throughout 2 of my early labours while my husband did drinks & food (he's rubbish at massages). If DH had ever implied anything improper I'd have thrown a shoe at him.

16 is a delicate age, as long as physical contact is initiated by your daughter you're fine. Bin the girlfriend. Don't let anyone spoil your relationship with your kids. Your daughters will always need you.

That's what I'm thinking. In which case, she really needs help. But the OP says there have been several issues with this woman regarding his daughter, which makes it seem more like jealousy. Maybe she looks like her mother and the OP's partner feels threatened by that? If thats the case then his partner is a very disturbed woman.

Ohhh your partner has issues!
Get shot and fast!
All my kids, sons and daughters love to give n get lots of cuddles, it was one of the first things hubby said to me when we first met was that he loves a cuddle!
We have always told our kids, "...you will always have a roof over your head and you're never too old for a cwtch!"
This would be a complete norm in our house, Just like its normal when my little boy sits on my lap for a big hug, and hes 24! :-)

Op, you should be running for the fucking hills. Your partner has massive issues that are being taken out on your children. I really hope you understand how fucked up their perspective is and how damaging it could be in terms of your relationship with your children.

My adt DS's occasionally come and sit on the sofa with me and put their heads on my shoulder to watch TV. I have a snuggle blanket and they come to sit next to me and I put my blanket over their legs too. Your behaviour is entirely normal in a loving family. Your partner sounds very odd/jealous to me.

Good grief what a bizarre reaction OP! You and your DD clearly have a great relationship. Your partner's reaction is very odd though!

My lovely dad died a few years ago, but I STILL sat on his knee for a quick cuddle whenever I visited (not sure he appreciated my giant 50-year old arse though 🤣😍) My two DDs would also sit on his knee for a cuddle...often both together, one each side, well into their 20s up until he died.

Cherish those moments - and ditch the weird girlfriend!

Run a mile mate. The fact she thinks it's weird suggests to me there might be abit of jealousy going on.
I had the same issue with my dad....really wasn't an issue for us, nothing weird at all but she ended up being a crazy person.
Does she have no kids? Maybe this could be a reason for her not understanding that a parent doesn't stop loving their kids even when they are adults

That doesn’t make it ok to repeatedly try and make the OP change his way with his DD.

She sounds like a total jealous nutjob… get out while you still can.
she is the one who is passing her aspersions on to you and the one who has sick thoughts and channeling them on to others .

'..this made her feel sick and about to faint.She felt sick and was about to faint.'

She's a drama queen and not all there.

I would give my left nipple to be able to sit on my grandads knee and give him a cuddle. Unfortunately that's not an option for me. But at 40 I still sit on my uncles knees and give them a hug. It's not weird. She is.